As the days went by, everything seemed to get redundant. Plus motivating my self to keep writing is a challenge.
During this whole month that i haven't been writing, time seemed to fast forward. My body has been melting into my schedule. Waking up early, going to be late, sometimes falling asleep on the couch when i get home. Its been keeping me occupied.
I am still thriving in school. One thing that i found out about myself, is that i seem to be drawn towards bad situations. to me, its like a test to see if i can stay happy. And the smiles always seem to come through.
I've also started saying "This is good" in any situation. even the bad ones. I got this from a story that i will tell in a sec. but ever since i been saying that in school, no one thinks anything is, in there mind, Good. And i do everything i can to prove them wrong.
Here is the story
THIS IS GOOD
A king in Africa had a close friend he grew up with. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is good!"
One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off.
Examining the situation the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!" To which the king replied, "No, this is NOT good!" and had his friend sent to jail.
About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took them to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake. As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb.
Being superstitious, they never ate anyone that was less than whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way. As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend.
He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend. "You were right" he said, "it was good that my thumb was blown off." And he proceeded to tell his friend all that had just happened. "And so I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad for me to do this."
"No," his friend replied, "this is good!"
"What do you mean, 'This is good?!'" How could it be good that I sent my friend to jail for a year."
"If I had not been in jail, I would have been with you."
I have told this story many times and i will tell it many more.
So, back to school! Yay!
Well, on the surface my classes are going well. But everyone knows its not whats on the surface that matters. I hate English, but its a love hate relationship. I love it because it makes me feel accomplished. And even i have noticed that i have been using bigger words. I hate it because everything has to be exactly how the teacher wants it. We started studding poems, and were assigned different poets to do research in the library over. Now i have never done the note card thing were when you find something in a book that you want to write down, you have to put it on a note card and state the source and the page number. Then after you get all of that, you have to paraphrase it to your own words with out plagiarizing it. Crazy. So i had 20 of these cards due, i even went to school earlier and stayed later so i could keep working in the schools library. I had 17 note cards with half of them paraphrased, and my stupid self put more than 1 sentence on each card... So that day that all that was due. I only got a 50 on a test grade. Now test grades are 60% of your full grade, quiz grades are 30% and daily work is 10%. That pushed proud grade of 75, down to a 67. Even tho i had everything in text that Mrs. Rayome asked for. To me, i would love to be good at English. And how the teacher didn't see anything good in what i did made me want to feel like a hopeless foul. Key word in there is "want". But i could easily see how that would make another kid feel like they are horrible at English or any other class! I believe that you are what you honestly think you are. If you say that your bad at English, then you probably will be. Unless you just trying to be modest. But that is still a step in a negative direction. This is good! maybe. :)
Well... Algebra is still easy for me. No problem at all with the work. But the teacher is not on my nice list anymore. I'll give a little back round so its easily-er understandable. I successfully started a cape day. It was the first and last Thursday of the month. i had about 6 people who wore capes with me. it was amazing. My cape is so awesome that i had people taking videos on cell phones of me running down the hallways like a ninja. At first the teachers didn't mind. But one day, one of the other guys that was wearing a cape had a class after me in English. Same teacher, the same one that did NOT say anything to me about my cape had an AP come and take him to the office for wearing a cape. Now he wont wear a cape anymore. another example of a kids life being run by fear. So i instead of wearing a cape on one of my Thursdays, i wore a lab coat with a name tag tat said "Dr. Madisun Holtzman" and carried my bag around like it was a briefcase. Claiming that people weren't eating their apple a day. and now the Doctor was here to stay! I walked into Algebra like that and the teacher looked at me and said sarcastic tone "Really?..." With the biggest smile on my face i said "Yes, i am really wearing a lab coat." She didn't say anything back. Class went by normally. Dam teacher trying to belittle me. Another day i decided to wear my extremely curly jew fro wig. O god, this got me so mad, but i didn't loose my cool. This wig is very realistic looking; I had people believing me that i "just didn't straighten my hair today". And they wouldn't know it was a wig until i asked them if they wanted to feel it. Well, teachers are not as gullible.
I took not more than 4 steps into the classroom when someone says “Madisun, your hair?”
Next thing I hear in the angriest voice I believe possible “TAKE THAT WIG OFF RIGHT NOW”
I looked her right in the eyes and said “One moment please, I would like to sit down first”
“No, take it off now and don’t make me say it again…”
Meanwhile every body in the classroom was dead silent with huge eyes.
I will admit that I took my sweet time walking to get my book and calculator before sitting down, but I was furious and started loading my words incase she was going to fire again.
Glaring at me as I slowly sit down with a big smile on my face, I took it off and started fixing my hair then I asked “Are you better now? Because there is no need to be teaching in a negative environment”
She didn’t say anything back.
I turned and started laughing about something with the people around me.
During that whole class I sat there thinking of how I was going to confront her and what I was going to say. And my moment of truth came when the bell rang and everyone rushed out of the classroom.
Coach Tumilty seemed like she was busy on the computer.
I walked up to her desk confidently but still a little nervous.
I say “excuse me, Coach Tumilty? Could I have a word with you?”
She turns to me with a blank face
Her: “Sure, what is it?”
Me: “I just wanted to talk to you about the start of this class. I really didn’t like the way I was treated by you when I walked in and wanted to let you know that I wasn’t wearing that to disrespect you in anyway. You have posters up all over the walls here that say ‘Dare to try’, ‘have the courage to be yourself’, and ‘you can’t be positive when you’re negative’. Well, I know my purpose in live is to make others happier and school can be a really down place with lots of bad feelings. Sometimes people don’t realize how much a smile can make your day better and I strive to spread happiness as far as I can. That was me being myself, and you tried to shoot me down. If I was any other kid that was trying to come out of his or her shell and be a better person and was shot down like that by a teacher, that could have been devastating. And for your information, I was planning on taking it off when the bell rang.”
With a look of shock on her face “The reason I told you to take it off was because within seconds of walking in, you were already disrupting my classroom. I have nothing against you and I am sorry if it sounded harsh but it needed to come off. I have let you wear many other things goofy things and I understand that is who you are, but the wig was just too much”.
Me: “Well, thank you for your apology but if I didn’t come up here to talk to you, I probably wouldn’t have gotten one. My favorite quote is ‘You may forget what someone said, but you will never forget how they made you feel’. I hope you have a wonderful day and I will see you tomorrow”.
I left and walked right next door to Teen Leadership.
I’ll write more soon, I am deprived of sleep and need to finish some homework :)
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
I was up and out of bed by 6:45. I have no idea how that happened.
I knew today i would have my class changes. So i spent the hour and forty five minutes walking around. I found a few friends/people i knew and invited them to skip down the hallways with me. I had no takers.
The only classes that have changed are Outdoor ed and Specialty Ag. The new classes i have now are Teen leader ship and Child Development. I still have English first period and Algebra second.
At first thinking about these new classes, i was skeptical. I was thinking about leaving because i was just about ready to get along with what is most important to me at the time. Now that this day is over. I know, i need to stick it out just a little longer.
My final grade for the first 9 weeks in English was a 72.
My final grade for Algebra was 90.
I got an 100 in Outdoor ed
and a 83 in Specialty Ag.
I PASSED!!! o yeah!! go me! i rock!!! now that i know i can pass if i try, i feel much better about myself.
So back to English. I brought my camera to school just to take a few pics. So i when i was in class before everyone else there. I took a few of just the room. Since it was a new 9 weeks, we had a few new students, one of witch was my friend Danni from Outdoor ed. But Mrs. Rayome assigned him a seat across the room. We were give the usual homework witch i still have not gotten to yet.. if at all. there is this freshman girl named Amy, who has English and Algebra with me, and she enjoys walking with me to class. She is a nice girl and i have just learned she was homeschool for 3 years. huh
I long while ago. Back when i was in that TAKS testing classroom. I wrote about this girl who was a bitch to me, and i threw it right back at her in the nicest way. She now gives me big long hugs every time i see her in the hallways. When people see you as their equal they have more respect for you. and guess what! Anyone has the potential to be someone elses equal. But it all falls back to fear.
In Algebra was cool until i got upset with Coach Tumilty.. On may occasions she has called me strange, and odd fellow, off, and different. None of that really effected me. I know its a great thing to be an individual and stand out in peoples minds. but today she really made me mad. We were talking about Ratios, probability's and Odds. Then out of no where
She looks at the class
Singled me out with her eyes and said
"Heres a good way to remember ODDS"
"Odd people are always failures in life... so odds over failures"
People thought this of a joke as it boiled my blood.
Look what they are teaching these people!!! O dont be different! its bad and you will never succeed in life that way. Just be like everyone else tells you to be and just dont even think about what really makes you happy because we all know is that happiness=money. Thats the full message i saw in that classroom today.
Once the bell rang, i went back into the school to chill for a minute and to see if i could find any friends. Teem Leadership is in portable 4.. and Algebra is in portable 3. right next to each other.
I wasn't mentally prepared for this class. I walked in and the first person i see is Alissandrea!!! The girl from Rome who was going to move in with me, but never did. She was extremely excited that i had a class with her. There is many older kids in this class. only 3 freshman. It is a really nice change.
Mrs. Jacobs is the teacher and she shook every persons hand when they came in.
I can not believe i have this class! it is perfect for me. Everything that she talked about today is what i have been writing about. We talked about how people like to be treated in a positive manner, they want respect, trust, and lots about first impressions. A lot about life stuff. Now the part that started to worried me, was the fact that people were in this class to get a slack off class. it is only a half credit class that is not mandatory to take. Who decided that reading the Odyssey or Shakespeare in English is SOOO much more important than learning about how to be a good person? The schools should be teaching Leadership classes way earlier. They teach you to respect people, and look at the bright side of things. How much easier would it be to teach a kid something if he really respected everything you had to say? If he sat there and sucked every word up like a sponge? In leadership you learn to listen to other peoples ideas.
The only other thing i thought about was how its not just the kids who need leadership skills, its the teachers.. Not just them but the people who manage them and you can go up and up and up. What i have herd and what it sounds like to me, it ends up to be all about money. Witch school has the smartest kids, according to tests... You can be graded on sooooooo many different things that tell someone if YOU are smart or not. It looks like schools only grade on English, Math, Science and History. hmmmm
Luckily I had D lunch again. I like it that way. so when you go to lunch you dont have to go back to that class and you go to the next one. Most of the people i sat with have been moved to a different lunch, but that means more people to meet!! I ate my apple with this girl from the swim teem, i'm still horrible with names.
Then Child Development in classroom D106.
I walked in and everyone was sitting at round tables and no one was making eye contact at all. I made my way over to the first person who made eye contact with me. I always find myself with the people who are different. She had her very dark brown short hair in pig tails, heavy dark eyeliner over 5 piercings in her ears, a collared button up shirt with a long sleeve undershirt. thick leather bracelets with chains on them and converse shoes. Jay always said i always find the weirdees. But she was cool. No one talked yet. I was stilling there for about 3 minutes in this deathly silence that was very thick. the teacher was busy doing something on her computer... Some great first impression. 2 people came in together, i looked at them smiling and they smiled back. I said "So apparently the only rule right now is to not talk and sit in silence". That lightened things up and other started whispering to each other. So in this class i had Karli from specialty ag. She like, like says like, like all the like freakin time. I couldn't like count, like that high, like on my like fingers, if i like tired. But she is still fun to hang with. This is also going to be a great class for me. Mrs. Diyer first started talking about how parents raise a child. saying how adults are trying to teach their kids about manners. but the kids is only going to do as he sees. Most of the parents that have young kids that they are teaching manners dont have them, themselves. It goes back to Leadership as well. I stayed after the bell rang to tell the teacher my full story. Where i came from, what i am here for, that i am not here to graduate but i am here to learn. I even told her about me writing everyday about what i see and understand about this learning environment. She got all excited about how i see things and is now excited that i am in her class.
After that i left early to go help my brother with his truck.
I knew today i would have my class changes. So i spent the hour and forty five minutes walking around. I found a few friends/people i knew and invited them to skip down the hallways with me. I had no takers.
The only classes that have changed are Outdoor ed and Specialty Ag. The new classes i have now are Teen leader ship and Child Development. I still have English first period and Algebra second.
At first thinking about these new classes, i was skeptical. I was thinking about leaving because i was just about ready to get along with what is most important to me at the time. Now that this day is over. I know, i need to stick it out just a little longer.
My final grade for the first 9 weeks in English was a 72.
My final grade for Algebra was 90.
I got an 100 in Outdoor ed
and a 83 in Specialty Ag.
I PASSED!!! o yeah!! go me! i rock!!! now that i know i can pass if i try, i feel much better about myself.
So back to English. I brought my camera to school just to take a few pics. So i when i was in class before everyone else there. I took a few of just the room. Since it was a new 9 weeks, we had a few new students, one of witch was my friend Danni from Outdoor ed. But Mrs. Rayome assigned him a seat across the room. We were give the usual homework witch i still have not gotten to yet.. if at all. there is this freshman girl named Amy, who has English and Algebra with me, and she enjoys walking with me to class. She is a nice girl and i have just learned she was homeschool for 3 years. huh
I long while ago. Back when i was in that TAKS testing classroom. I wrote about this girl who was a bitch to me, and i threw it right back at her in the nicest way. She now gives me big long hugs every time i see her in the hallways. When people see you as their equal they have more respect for you. and guess what! Anyone has the potential to be someone elses equal. But it all falls back to fear.
In Algebra was cool until i got upset with Coach Tumilty.. On may occasions she has called me strange, and odd fellow, off, and different. None of that really effected me. I know its a great thing to be an individual and stand out in peoples minds. but today she really made me mad. We were talking about Ratios, probability's and Odds. Then out of no where
She looks at the class
Singled me out with her eyes and said
"Heres a good way to remember ODDS"
"Odd people are always failures in life... so odds over failures"
People thought this of a joke as it boiled my blood.
Look what they are teaching these people!!! O dont be different! its bad and you will never succeed in life that way. Just be like everyone else tells you to be and just dont even think about what really makes you happy because we all know is that happiness=money. Thats the full message i saw in that classroom today.
Once the bell rang, i went back into the school to chill for a minute and to see if i could find any friends. Teem Leadership is in portable 4.. and Algebra is in portable 3. right next to each other.
I wasn't mentally prepared for this class. I walked in and the first person i see is Alissandrea!!! The girl from Rome who was going to move in with me, but never did. She was extremely excited that i had a class with her. There is many older kids in this class. only 3 freshman. It is a really nice change.
Mrs. Jacobs is the teacher and she shook every persons hand when they came in.
I can not believe i have this class! it is perfect for me. Everything that she talked about today is what i have been writing about. We talked about how people like to be treated in a positive manner, they want respect, trust, and lots about first impressions. A lot about life stuff. Now the part that started to worried me, was the fact that people were in this class to get a slack off class. it is only a half credit class that is not mandatory to take. Who decided that reading the Odyssey or Shakespeare in English is SOOO much more important than learning about how to be a good person? The schools should be teaching Leadership classes way earlier. They teach you to respect people, and look at the bright side of things. How much easier would it be to teach a kid something if he really respected everything you had to say? If he sat there and sucked every word up like a sponge? In leadership you learn to listen to other peoples ideas.
The only other thing i thought about was how its not just the kids who need leadership skills, its the teachers.. Not just them but the people who manage them and you can go up and up and up. What i have herd and what it sounds like to me, it ends up to be all about money. Witch school has the smartest kids, according to tests... You can be graded on sooooooo many different things that tell someone if YOU are smart or not. It looks like schools only grade on English, Math, Science and History. hmmmm
Luckily I had D lunch again. I like it that way. so when you go to lunch you dont have to go back to that class and you go to the next one. Most of the people i sat with have been moved to a different lunch, but that means more people to meet!! I ate my apple with this girl from the swim teem, i'm still horrible with names.
Then Child Development in classroom D106.
I walked in and everyone was sitting at round tables and no one was making eye contact at all. I made my way over to the first person who made eye contact with me. I always find myself with the people who are different. She had her very dark brown short hair in pig tails, heavy dark eyeliner over 5 piercings in her ears, a collared button up shirt with a long sleeve undershirt. thick leather bracelets with chains on them and converse shoes. Jay always said i always find the weirdees. But she was cool. No one talked yet. I was stilling there for about 3 minutes in this deathly silence that was very thick. the teacher was busy doing something on her computer... Some great first impression. 2 people came in together, i looked at them smiling and they smiled back. I said "So apparently the only rule right now is to not talk and sit in silence". That lightened things up and other started whispering to each other. So in this class i had Karli from specialty ag. She like, like says like, like all the like freakin time. I couldn't like count, like that high, like on my like fingers, if i like tired. But she is still fun to hang with. This is also going to be a great class for me. Mrs. Diyer first started talking about how parents raise a child. saying how adults are trying to teach their kids about manners. but the kids is only going to do as he sees. Most of the parents that have young kids that they are teaching manners dont have them, themselves. It goes back to Leadership as well. I stayed after the bell rang to tell the teacher my full story. Where i came from, what i am here for, that i am not here to graduate but i am here to learn. I even told her about me writing everyday about what i see and understand about this learning environment. She got all excited about how i see things and is now excited that i am in her class.
After that i left early to go help my brother with his truck.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Lab coat Thursday
I woke up in the morning ready for the day. Lately it have been hard to actually get out of bed and shower. But I was ready.
Today I had finals in English and Algebra. Wearing my lab coat really made me feel smarter and ready to take important tests. And that’s what I told everyone who asked why I was wearing a lab coat.
It really makes me happy to be with such a large number of people, but I am sure that doesn’t apply to everyone. Some people just need to be alone in solitude and I understand that when meeting other people.
I have met someone today who I believe is meant to know me. But I’ll tell you about that later.
I looked sharp today, and I got many compliments from strangers. I wore my nice black jeans that I got from the buckle, A nice black button up short sleeve silk shirt with a long sleeve gray under shirt with my legit white lab coat. It even had the pocket protectors. You should have seen me.
English was quick and easy; as long as you worked. Since we finished reading the version of the Odyssey we had to answer questions about it then read a poem and answer questions about that also. But it took up the whole 1:40 minutes of class with its 50 difficult questions. Everywhere I went to day I had an average of 6 people ask me what was up with the coat. More people seemed to stair when i had the coat on rather than the Cloak.
Once when i was in the hallways, a random girl i have never seen before comes up to me and says "Are you a doctor?" I replied "I am what ever you want me to be"
Sometime i even creep myself out with the things i say and i feel sorry for saying them. But not sorry enough to stop!
Coach Tumilty never has passes a time to make fun of someone, but shes not mean about it. She said something like "I keep being someone i am not" I just told her that since we had a big test today, i wanted to feel smart, look smart, smell smart, eat smart and think smart. As long as you do something with confidence, others will not question you. We were taking something called MidTerm Finals, i think. Basically a 50 page test on everything you've learned. Algebra is sill easy for me. I have a 95 in that class! Thanks to my awesome Math Tutor Cyndy!
Once i was finished with that. me and Morgan started writing little notes to each other. Everyone has a nice side and as long as your on it, things will go well.
Since we had Finals today, the finals were in coaches own words "your finals are to be nice to me and i will grade your behavior". I was blessed with having Outdoor ed. It was an amazing class and i have made a perfect 100 just because i showed interest in the things we studied. There was 3 kids that failed because they were little bitches to coach Odle. That had it coming to them though. So today, we walked to sonic and ate lunch there.
I brought my lunch from sonic back to eat in the cafeteria. I have really grown found of Morgan, she seems to be the only one who is really fun but not a slut. The table she sits at is packed so i always sit with in eye distance of it and they always come over to talk to me. It is a good feeling with friendship is a 2 way road.
After lunch i met up with Jay and we made a ton of noise chasing each other around the lunchroom. Jumping over chairs and stuff, making dirt bike noises with our mouths. great fun.
We did have finals in Ag. But it was easy. We needed to make a Job application for a job that is involved in Agriculture. That basically every job out there if you put your mind to it. Agriculture is everywhere, we wear cotton shirts and pants everyday. Karli and i have become good friends. But i still see a pattern with the people i meet. Or maybe i see it because it is in everyone. The fact everyone that gets close to me seems to be hurting inside. emotional pain. The people i dont see that in tend to be dicks and not know it.
After school i headed to the Chess cub room. I brought my 3 way chess board and amazed everyone one by its excellence! i played with Alexander and another kid that is friendly with me. they teemed up on me and kicked my butt! bastards! haha! just kidding. I lost fair and square.
I left with Alexander, we walked to starbucks down the road and talked the whole way there. I am glad i have met him, he inspires me to do the things i want. And he is the only person in school i have told about this blog. I talked to him about how there is so much fear in school and kids lives and thats why bad things happen. he is also the one who wants to start a Japanese club with me. I told him many stories about my journeys to Japan. I see a lot of myself in him. He told me "You are everything i want to be, and you have done everything i want to do at the moment". with my bad memory i might have change the wording on accident but I can not remember a time i have ever felt that good about myself. That walk right then and there was one of the best moments of me going to school. The one thing that started me thinking again, was after i told him about how i see things in school with the fear and no positiveness, he said "that deep and makes sooo much sense". The people that their lives are being corrupted, don't even know it! Their subconscious knows but they dont see it them self's. i just wish i could make others understand that their lives have sooo much fear in them and they don't even know what it is that makes them feel that way. Its human nature to be afraid of the unknown and unexplained.
Today I had finals in English and Algebra. Wearing my lab coat really made me feel smarter and ready to take important tests. And that’s what I told everyone who asked why I was wearing a lab coat.
It really makes me happy to be with such a large number of people, but I am sure that doesn’t apply to everyone. Some people just need to be alone in solitude and I understand that when meeting other people.
I have met someone today who I believe is meant to know me. But I’ll tell you about that later.
I looked sharp today, and I got many compliments from strangers. I wore my nice black jeans that I got from the buckle, A nice black button up short sleeve silk shirt with a long sleeve gray under shirt with my legit white lab coat. It even had the pocket protectors. You should have seen me.
English was quick and easy; as long as you worked. Since we finished reading the version of the Odyssey we had to answer questions about it then read a poem and answer questions about that also. But it took up the whole 1:40 minutes of class with its 50 difficult questions. Everywhere I went to day I had an average of 6 people ask me what was up with the coat. More people seemed to stair when i had the coat on rather than the Cloak.
Once when i was in the hallways, a random girl i have never seen before comes up to me and says "Are you a doctor?" I replied "I am what ever you want me to be"
Sometime i even creep myself out with the things i say and i feel sorry for saying them. But not sorry enough to stop!
Coach Tumilty never has passes a time to make fun of someone, but shes not mean about it. She said something like "I keep being someone i am not" I just told her that since we had a big test today, i wanted to feel smart, look smart, smell smart, eat smart and think smart. As long as you do something with confidence, others will not question you. We were taking something called MidTerm Finals, i think. Basically a 50 page test on everything you've learned. Algebra is sill easy for me. I have a 95 in that class! Thanks to my awesome Math Tutor Cyndy!
Once i was finished with that. me and Morgan started writing little notes to each other. Everyone has a nice side and as long as your on it, things will go well.
Since we had Finals today, the finals were in coaches own words "your finals are to be nice to me and i will grade your behavior". I was blessed with having Outdoor ed. It was an amazing class and i have made a perfect 100 just because i showed interest in the things we studied. There was 3 kids that failed because they were little bitches to coach Odle. That had it coming to them though. So today, we walked to sonic and ate lunch there.
I brought my lunch from sonic back to eat in the cafeteria. I have really grown found of Morgan, she seems to be the only one who is really fun but not a slut. The table she sits at is packed so i always sit with in eye distance of it and they always come over to talk to me. It is a good feeling with friendship is a 2 way road.
After lunch i met up with Jay and we made a ton of noise chasing each other around the lunchroom. Jumping over chairs and stuff, making dirt bike noises with our mouths. great fun.
We did have finals in Ag. But it was easy. We needed to make a Job application for a job that is involved in Agriculture. That basically every job out there if you put your mind to it. Agriculture is everywhere, we wear cotton shirts and pants everyday. Karli and i have become good friends. But i still see a pattern with the people i meet. Or maybe i see it because it is in everyone. The fact everyone that gets close to me seems to be hurting inside. emotional pain. The people i dont see that in tend to be dicks and not know it.
After school i headed to the Chess cub room. I brought my 3 way chess board and amazed everyone one by its excellence! i played with Alexander and another kid that is friendly with me. they teemed up on me and kicked my butt! bastards! haha! just kidding. I lost fair and square.
I left with Alexander, we walked to starbucks down the road and talked the whole way there. I am glad i have met him, he inspires me to do the things i want. And he is the only person in school i have told about this blog. I talked to him about how there is so much fear in school and kids lives and thats why bad things happen. he is also the one who wants to start a Japanese club with me. I told him many stories about my journeys to Japan. I see a lot of myself in him. He told me "You are everything i want to be, and you have done everything i want to do at the moment". with my bad memory i might have change the wording on accident but I can not remember a time i have ever felt that good about myself. That walk right then and there was one of the best moments of me going to school. The one thing that started me thinking again, was after i told him about how i see things in school with the fear and no positiveness, he said "that deep and makes sooo much sense". The people that their lives are being corrupted, don't even know it! Their subconscious knows but they dont see it them self's. i just wish i could make others understand that their lives have sooo much fear in them and they don't even know what it is that makes them feel that way. Its human nature to be afraid of the unknown and unexplained.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Wednesday
I have been kicking it back in the mornings lately. I will wake up at around 7:40 and take a shower get to school with my hair still wet. Thats when my hair smells the best.
I was planning on wearing my lab coat to school today, but while i was looking for it i found my cloak my mom had made for me out of velvet. So i threw that on as i walked out the door.
The breaks on my truck need new pads and my dad wont pay for them so i have been having him take me to school every day. I made it there at 8:30ish and ran around the hallways with my cloak billowing behind me.
If you have ever seen the movie Role Models, he said "People tend to avoid people with capes" Its not true. I had people taking pictures of me. But every time a teacher or an AP was near i would push it all behind me so it didn't look much like a cape.
Every time someone asked me "why are you wearing a cape?" I replied with "Why are you wearing clothes?". It was a fun day.
We started finals in English today. Since we finished reading the Odyssey we had to write a paper about what hero characteristics Odysseus had. But i guess i didn't get that memo. I wrote a page on what the Odyssey was about. Then i found that memo and had to write two more pages on that. It was a pain.
I am officially passing all my classes now. But i guess that doesn't mean much coming from me.
To keep hydrated, i drink an ozarka bottle of water every class period. but the lights in school still give me head aches. Today i did not get any. I think its because it was a rainy day and my body knew it was suppose to dimer.
When i am in the hallways, it almost like i have a beacon flashing over my head saying "look this way!" because it seemed like every person at least glanced at me. I wasn't sure i like that much attention. Just a little overwhelming.
In Algebra, we have also been getting ready for Finals. Morgan, Jessie, Jenna, Bradey and I all movie our desk together so we can help each other as much as possible.
Hearing what they call normal talk about others, what i call being a dick behind someone elses back; kind of ticked me off just a bit. So i tried to change the subject when they were talking about how someone had pimples.
i said jokingly "well.. you.. got an.. funny looking.. umm. face."
Jenna replied with "No, you have a funny looking face"
Me "O, so is that why people laugh at me?"
It was a very enjoyable math class
That kid i talked to on the back on the calculator cover is lame and wont talk to me anymore. o well, his loss.
As i was filling up my water bottle again i found this new way to my class. and ran into Clifford. He told me i should work at Scarborough Fair with him! I never knew he worked there. Thats one of my childhood dreams!!! I love knowing people who know people.
Once i was in Outdoor Ed, Coach Odle said that if we finished all 10 pages of our journals then we are free to do what ever we want and we have nothing else to grade. since i was done i got Micky to go to the weight room with me to workout. Micky is a cool dude, i get along with him the best out of everyone else. Hes going to be one the people i will miss once i leave. I never knew how fast time goes by when your doing nothing... Maybe it was my magical cloak but lunch came fast.
Nothing ever changes. I sat at my sexytime table, with Eric, Morgan, Linda, Clifford and countless others that are strange. Was there for about 5 minutes then wandered off when they were talking about something disgusting. I realized i didn't want to be there, so i left. easy as that.
Still wearing my cloak i ran around the lunch room until i caught the stink eye from one of the AP's. God he scared me. Then i felt pity for eveyone else that has gotten on the bad side of that guy. Why dont schools have people that walk around and give people hope, confidence, and positive things, when the school has Nega-Givers (a word i made up for someone who gives negativeness to others)
At the end of lunch as the hallways fill me and Eric Called for Jay by making dirt bike noises with our mouths. He came running around the corner, sees me wearing a cape and keeps running. I chase after him with my cape billowing around and behind me. We ran around the lunch room then outside. I headed straight to class because i didn't want my awesome cloak to get wet.
We have a Sub in Ag. He seems cool. He told us that he also went to Marcus Highschool. He loved my cape, told me that i could take the attendance to the office only if i wear the cape there and back. Agreed calling myself Mistafulease the Attendance Master. The school was like the highway without the cars. Silent
Once i get back we headed to the book room to give our books back. We dont need them anymore. Friday will be 9 week mark for me. Thats when i switch classes!
We finished up some bookwork about job seeking and applying skills in agriculture.
Karli keeps talking to me about the bad things in her life. I found out today that she is a Taurus. Just like my older brother. That really did help me understand how she thinks. kind of crazy :)
Once the bell rang we looked outside at the was a freakin river running through the parking lot. It was awesome. I want to go play in the rain, but i knew i would get my cloak and books wet.
Later in the front of the school. i was talking to one of the kids that is in the chess club. we get to talking and i told him that i have traveled to Japan. He wants me to help him start a Japanese club. I wouldn't want to start something that i would end out bailing out on in the end. So i will talk to him about it and see.
I was planning on wearing my lab coat to school today, but while i was looking for it i found my cloak my mom had made for me out of velvet. So i threw that on as i walked out the door.
The breaks on my truck need new pads and my dad wont pay for them so i have been having him take me to school every day. I made it there at 8:30ish and ran around the hallways with my cloak billowing behind me.
If you have ever seen the movie Role Models, he said "People tend to avoid people with capes" Its not true. I had people taking pictures of me. But every time a teacher or an AP was near i would push it all behind me so it didn't look much like a cape.
Every time someone asked me "why are you wearing a cape?" I replied with "Why are you wearing clothes?". It was a fun day.
We started finals in English today. Since we finished reading the Odyssey we had to write a paper about what hero characteristics Odysseus had. But i guess i didn't get that memo. I wrote a page on what the Odyssey was about. Then i found that memo and had to write two more pages on that. It was a pain.
I am officially passing all my classes now. But i guess that doesn't mean much coming from me.
To keep hydrated, i drink an ozarka bottle of water every class period. but the lights in school still give me head aches. Today i did not get any. I think its because it was a rainy day and my body knew it was suppose to dimer.
When i am in the hallways, it almost like i have a beacon flashing over my head saying "look this way!" because it seemed like every person at least glanced at me. I wasn't sure i like that much attention. Just a little overwhelming.
In Algebra, we have also been getting ready for Finals. Morgan, Jessie, Jenna, Bradey and I all movie our desk together so we can help each other as much as possible.
Hearing what they call normal talk about others, what i call being a dick behind someone elses back; kind of ticked me off just a bit. So i tried to change the subject when they were talking about how someone had pimples.
i said jokingly "well.. you.. got an.. funny looking.. umm. face."
Jenna replied with "No, you have a funny looking face"
Me "O, so is that why people laugh at me?"
It was a very enjoyable math class
That kid i talked to on the back on the calculator cover is lame and wont talk to me anymore. o well, his loss.
As i was filling up my water bottle again i found this new way to my class. and ran into Clifford. He told me i should work at Scarborough Fair with him! I never knew he worked there. Thats one of my childhood dreams!!! I love knowing people who know people.
Once i was in Outdoor Ed, Coach Odle said that if we finished all 10 pages of our journals then we are free to do what ever we want and we have nothing else to grade. since i was done i got Micky to go to the weight room with me to workout. Micky is a cool dude, i get along with him the best out of everyone else. Hes going to be one the people i will miss once i leave. I never knew how fast time goes by when your doing nothing... Maybe it was my magical cloak but lunch came fast.
Nothing ever changes. I sat at my sexytime table, with Eric, Morgan, Linda, Clifford and countless others that are strange. Was there for about 5 minutes then wandered off when they were talking about something disgusting. I realized i didn't want to be there, so i left. easy as that.
Still wearing my cloak i ran around the lunch room until i caught the stink eye from one of the AP's. God he scared me. Then i felt pity for eveyone else that has gotten on the bad side of that guy. Why dont schools have people that walk around and give people hope, confidence, and positive things, when the school has Nega-Givers (a word i made up for someone who gives negativeness to others)
At the end of lunch as the hallways fill me and Eric Called for Jay by making dirt bike noises with our mouths. He came running around the corner, sees me wearing a cape and keeps running. I chase after him with my cape billowing around and behind me. We ran around the lunch room then outside. I headed straight to class because i didn't want my awesome cloak to get wet.
We have a Sub in Ag. He seems cool. He told us that he also went to Marcus Highschool. He loved my cape, told me that i could take the attendance to the office only if i wear the cape there and back. Agreed calling myself Mistafulease the Attendance Master. The school was like the highway without the cars. Silent
Once i get back we headed to the book room to give our books back. We dont need them anymore. Friday will be 9 week mark for me. Thats when i switch classes!
We finished up some bookwork about job seeking and applying skills in agriculture.
Karli keeps talking to me about the bad things in her life. I found out today that she is a Taurus. Just like my older brother. That really did help me understand how she thinks. kind of crazy :)
Once the bell rang we looked outside at the was a freakin river running through the parking lot. It was awesome. I want to go play in the rain, but i knew i would get my cloak and books wet.
Later in the front of the school. i was talking to one of the kids that is in the chess club. we get to talking and i told him that i have traveled to Japan. He wants me to help him start a Japanese club. I wouldn't want to start something that i would end out bailing out on in the end. So i will talk to him about it and see.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Spring break Friday!
If you are reading this, I am warning you. This was the most laid back awesome day that I thought I would never see. I got to really talk to people for once, because of the fact that we did absolutely nothing in ALL of my classes. I was soo happy that everyone was soooo happy. It made my job of spreading happiness tremendously easy.
Yesterday I presented my persuasive power point on “Why Hunting is Necessary” and it went very well. In my option, I thought I had the best one. But it wont get graded until I get back from spring break. My positive and confidant voice worked wonders, I had everyone fullest attention.
Someone did theirs on “Gun Control”. O gosh.. I didn’t agree with him. His intentions were to make it harder for people to get any type of gun. I disagree, thanks to my friend Joe.
This other girl did hers on abortion. Pro life. All I am going to say is that I had to disagree with the things she said…
While they were doing power points I decided to write a note to Karli, the girl in my ag class. Everyday she writes a letter to her best friend. And I thought how cool that was.
In algebra, since the calculators are assigned one person for the whole time your there. I continued to have a conversation with someone named Wade Cole. He is in the class before me. I started it by writing on the back of the calculator cover, saying “Hey first period my name is Madisun. Whats up?”
He replied: “Madisun who?”
Me: “Madisun Holtzman, You probably don’t know me because I have been homeschooled until this semester. Whats your name?”
Him: “Wade Cole”
I asked everyone around me if they knew him. Jessie said she did and to tell him she said hi.
Me: “O cool, Jessie says hi! So how do you like math class? Do you sit next to any cool people?”
Outdoor ed was awesome. Remember, I am still talking about yesterday. We had a sub and she said that Coach Odle was sick. I doubt it though. He seems just like the type of person that would say he was sick to get away, especially the 2 days before spring break.
We sat in the hallway and did nothing until Coach Galls class came over to watch a movie. No one paid any attention to the TV and I watched Step Brothers on Ian’s iPod. I love that movie. So far so fun!
Lunch was cool. My dad came and brought me Chick-ful-a. And stayed to talk to my friends! Haha! They weren’t expecting that. My dad isn’t quite normal. Morgan said to me “Your dad is very interesting.. Kind of threw me off guard!”
Yesterday for Specialty ag class, Ms Welch said if we finish chapter 26 then tomorrow (today) We can watch dirty jobs for an Hour and forty five minutes. I gave Karli her note. It was all folded up nicely in this awesome star I learned how to fold. She was excited. But we mostly worked in silence. The all of a sudden! Garrison jumps up as his chair slams against the wall, with the biggest smile on his face he runs over to Ms Welch’s desk and says with a booming voice “O GOD MS WELCH, I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!! Please let me go!”
She looks at him with confusion
“Garrison, whats wrong with you? I have never seen you act like this. No you cant go..”
Still smiling and happy as can be with the whole classes attention on him Garrison says
“Well to bad because I am going to go anyway!” and starts walking towards the door.
As he makes it to the door he hesitates for a second and Ms Welch has a chance to say
“No! don’t you dare go out that door.”
Garrison: “I have to go to the bathroom!!! Do you want me to piss in the corner? My bladder is going to explode!”
Teacher: “Fine… Go. But you better be back here in 5 minutes.”
Garrison: “Okay, I’ll be back!” And bolts out the door like an arrow just lunched from a bow. He was gone.
Immediately, Ms Welch walked into her office and calls the main office to get a hold of his councilor and shuts the door. I really couldn’t hear what she was saying but I could tell it didn’t sound good for Garrison.
Before he came back Jess told Ms Welch to check his Coke bottle to see if there was any alcohol in it. In the end Jess smelled it and said no. but I knew there wasn’t anything in it. It was just another case of “get me away from this place that is freighting me” and I was glad he did!! Once he got back Ms Welch told him to go straight to the Main Office. That smile never faded off of his face. He turned to me and said “I’m out yall, I get to go home” I returned his smile and high fived him.
After all that excitement, I wrote on a paper “what would you think if I peed in the corner with him?” and gave it to Karli
I was surprised to see that she was very upset… Disturbed with the fact that Garrison “acted out of line” as she put it. God dam, these freaking robots have to power to program other people to have the same thinking pattern. I looked at everyone in that classroom and didn’t see a single happy face! I was the only one happy for Garrison to know that he was doing what he wanted!! He wanted to get away and he did! Prof that you can do what you want! As long as you know what will follow after, you will be fine with it!!
After school was over, I realized it was Thursday. Chess club meet!!! Lora is always happy to see me :)
I played 4 games of chess and won 3 of them.
I played 2 games with their best player and won one of the games. He was a strange person. But he was awesome! I can’t explain it for some reason. He was like one of those really smart people who you might think has a social problem but doesn’t. It just seemed like his mind worked in a different way then everyone else’s. Not once did I hear him laugh when I was in that room playing chess. And for some reason I could still tell when he was very happy. While we were going at it in a game of chess, he grabbed his cheeks and pulled them away from his cheeks to make the funniest noise I had heard that day!! As I am sitting there laughing incredibly hard. He just sat there looking at me with a straight face, cocked his head a little to one side like a dog does and says without a quiver in his voice “I really enjoy your laugh. It is not like other peoples laughs that are fake. You have a true laugh that makes me feel extremely happy inside, it makes me wana laugh with you”
Still laughed at what he did I say with a smile “Thank you, Very much, It really means a lot to hear that from you”. We are now friends and every time I see him in the hallways I always stop to shake his hand.
Today was much easier, in English we watched the movie Hercules the whole time. I actually slept in class. The first time ever! I should do it more often. Really didn’t talk to anyone during first period. Not many people were ecstatic about spring break, this surprised me. When I got board of watching the movie and sleeping I decided to write a note to Karli. Every day, she will write a note for her best friend. And she’ll color it and make it look cool. I really never had someone to write too, that I knew would read it. So I went ahead and wrote her a nice long note asking questions about her family and telling her a few things about me. It was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. Just to write a page to a friend!
Once the bell rang I sat there finishing it up. Everyone rushed out like usual. I was the only one who wished Mrs. Rayome a good spring break. Headed off to Algebra with a pit stop in the bathroom.
Someday I would love to just sit in the bathroom and see how many people actually talk to anyone in there. It is hilarious because no one will use a urinal if someone using the one next to it. I wish I could shove a steering wheel in my pants and just sit in there. And when someone gets enough nerve to ask me why I have a steering wheel in my pants I will say “Ahh, It drives me nuts!”
We sat in silence in class. We took some kind of test that was important (well it was important to someone). Everyone was freaking out about it. It went quick and easy for me. I am glad i don’t struggle in math at all.
Then I turned over my calculator
Wade: “Tell her I say hi back. Math is easy. I am the only cool person in my class, everyone else sucks. Where do you sit and where does Jessie sit?”
I drew a picture of the classroom. Today since I won’t get a reply until spring break is over I said “So how was your spring break? Do anything awesome?”
I wonder what he is going to tell me!
I am starting to pay attention to the tv in this classroom. It will tell me things about whats going on in the school. Like when clubs meet and when cool stuff is happening after school. I will be sure to watch it more. I turned to Morgan behind me and told her on a whim “I may not come back after this spring break”
She flipped out, “You cant just leave. Can you?”
“I go where my heart leads me. It lead me here and its almost time to leave”
This is truly how I feel about it.
I walked outside and around the school a way I have never gone before. I found someone who I had no idea they were. But they knew me before school and was asking me about my brothers and everything. She knew Jay, so I guess I should ask him if she knows her. She was very pretty.
Today in Outdoor ed, the sub was still there. We chilled in the hallways and a got one of the other freshmen to teach me how to fold paper in the throwing stars! That was badass! Probably that will be one of thoughs things I will remember about school for ever. I folded the note I wrote for Karli in that manner. Everyone went to the small gym to chill and shoot hoops. There was 3 other classes in there. And I got to hang out with Lora and her friend that is in tennis. Her name is Kally. I also think I am getting better with learning peoples names. I have this drive in me to be able to do handstands. So I practiced in the gym with some other kids I didn’t know. It was fun. I just believe it would be cool to be able to do handstand pushups! Heh, you gotta start somewhere. Once I was warn out from attempting. I sat down and ate my lunch. Had my apple and orange, then talked nutrition to other people asking me about why I never bring a sandwich or chips. Having a healthy body is just as important as having a healthy mind.
During lunch I stayed with one table, the table with Linda, Morgan, Lora, 2 of their friends, Eric and Clifford. They are turning out to be the table that wants me to stay the most. I enjoy their company, they just seem older than everyone else. Even tho they still act like little kids sometimes.
Over the past few days, I have been getting head aches right behind my eyes. At first I didn’t think much of it. But they just kept coming. So I started to pay more attention to them. I strongly believe that I get head aches from the iridescent lighting in school. I am use to the sun being the only thing that lights up my room and world. Now that it is replaced with fake lights, it hurts my head. I wonder how much that plays into the fact kids don’t like to get outside much because they dwell inside most of their lives. Maybe I’ll meditate on that one and see what I can come up with.
In Ag, Karli was excited that I wrote her a note. And I was excited that she was excited! I love when I make circles of happiness. She didn’t read it in class.
We watched 3 episodes of “Dirty Jobs” and I played on the computer with Shaila and Will. We played that game that is like snake and you cant run into any lines you create. You know that game they played in Tron, with the bikes? It was fun but I was being very loud and the teacher got upset at me. She has been very touchy since Garrison did that thing yesterday. I guess she is trying to make sure no one else gets any crazy ideas.
Yesterday I presented my persuasive power point on “Why Hunting is Necessary” and it went very well. In my option, I thought I had the best one. But it wont get graded until I get back from spring break. My positive and confidant voice worked wonders, I had everyone fullest attention.
Someone did theirs on “Gun Control”. O gosh.. I didn’t agree with him. His intentions were to make it harder for people to get any type of gun. I disagree, thanks to my friend Joe.
This other girl did hers on abortion. Pro life. All I am going to say is that I had to disagree with the things she said…
While they were doing power points I decided to write a note to Karli, the girl in my ag class. Everyday she writes a letter to her best friend. And I thought how cool that was.
In algebra, since the calculators are assigned one person for the whole time your there. I continued to have a conversation with someone named Wade Cole. He is in the class before me. I started it by writing on the back of the calculator cover, saying “Hey first period my name is Madisun. Whats up?”
He replied: “Madisun who?”
Me: “Madisun Holtzman, You probably don’t know me because I have been homeschooled until this semester. Whats your name?”
Him: “Wade Cole”
I asked everyone around me if they knew him. Jessie said she did and to tell him she said hi.
Me: “O cool, Jessie says hi! So how do you like math class? Do you sit next to any cool people?”
Outdoor ed was awesome. Remember, I am still talking about yesterday. We had a sub and she said that Coach Odle was sick. I doubt it though. He seems just like the type of person that would say he was sick to get away, especially the 2 days before spring break.
We sat in the hallway and did nothing until Coach Galls class came over to watch a movie. No one paid any attention to the TV and I watched Step Brothers on Ian’s iPod. I love that movie. So far so fun!
Lunch was cool. My dad came and brought me Chick-ful-a. And stayed to talk to my friends! Haha! They weren’t expecting that. My dad isn’t quite normal. Morgan said to me “Your dad is very interesting.. Kind of threw me off guard!”
Yesterday for Specialty ag class, Ms Welch said if we finish chapter 26 then tomorrow (today) We can watch dirty jobs for an Hour and forty five minutes. I gave Karli her note. It was all folded up nicely in this awesome star I learned how to fold. She was excited. But we mostly worked in silence. The all of a sudden! Garrison jumps up as his chair slams against the wall, with the biggest smile on his face he runs over to Ms Welch’s desk and says with a booming voice “O GOD MS WELCH, I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!! Please let me go!”
She looks at him with confusion
“Garrison, whats wrong with you? I have never seen you act like this. No you cant go..”
Still smiling and happy as can be with the whole classes attention on him Garrison says
“Well to bad because I am going to go anyway!” and starts walking towards the door.
As he makes it to the door he hesitates for a second and Ms Welch has a chance to say
“No! don’t you dare go out that door.”
Garrison: “I have to go to the bathroom!!! Do you want me to piss in the corner? My bladder is going to explode!”
Teacher: “Fine… Go. But you better be back here in 5 minutes.”
Garrison: “Okay, I’ll be back!” And bolts out the door like an arrow just lunched from a bow. He was gone.
Immediately, Ms Welch walked into her office and calls the main office to get a hold of his councilor and shuts the door. I really couldn’t hear what she was saying but I could tell it didn’t sound good for Garrison.
Before he came back Jess told Ms Welch to check his Coke bottle to see if there was any alcohol in it. In the end Jess smelled it and said no. but I knew there wasn’t anything in it. It was just another case of “get me away from this place that is freighting me” and I was glad he did!! Once he got back Ms Welch told him to go straight to the Main Office. That smile never faded off of his face. He turned to me and said “I’m out yall, I get to go home” I returned his smile and high fived him.
After all that excitement, I wrote on a paper “what would you think if I peed in the corner with him?” and gave it to Karli
I was surprised to see that she was very upset… Disturbed with the fact that Garrison “acted out of line” as she put it. God dam, these freaking robots have to power to program other people to have the same thinking pattern. I looked at everyone in that classroom and didn’t see a single happy face! I was the only one happy for Garrison to know that he was doing what he wanted!! He wanted to get away and he did! Prof that you can do what you want! As long as you know what will follow after, you will be fine with it!!
After school was over, I realized it was Thursday. Chess club meet!!! Lora is always happy to see me :)
I played 4 games of chess and won 3 of them.
I played 2 games with their best player and won one of the games. He was a strange person. But he was awesome! I can’t explain it for some reason. He was like one of those really smart people who you might think has a social problem but doesn’t. It just seemed like his mind worked in a different way then everyone else’s. Not once did I hear him laugh when I was in that room playing chess. And for some reason I could still tell when he was very happy. While we were going at it in a game of chess, he grabbed his cheeks and pulled them away from his cheeks to make the funniest noise I had heard that day!! As I am sitting there laughing incredibly hard. He just sat there looking at me with a straight face, cocked his head a little to one side like a dog does and says without a quiver in his voice “I really enjoy your laugh. It is not like other peoples laughs that are fake. You have a true laugh that makes me feel extremely happy inside, it makes me wana laugh with you”
Still laughed at what he did I say with a smile “Thank you, Very much, It really means a lot to hear that from you”. We are now friends and every time I see him in the hallways I always stop to shake his hand.
Today was much easier, in English we watched the movie Hercules the whole time. I actually slept in class. The first time ever! I should do it more often. Really didn’t talk to anyone during first period. Not many people were ecstatic about spring break, this surprised me. When I got board of watching the movie and sleeping I decided to write a note to Karli. Every day, she will write a note for her best friend. And she’ll color it and make it look cool. I really never had someone to write too, that I knew would read it. So I went ahead and wrote her a nice long note asking questions about her family and telling her a few things about me. It was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. Just to write a page to a friend!
Once the bell rang I sat there finishing it up. Everyone rushed out like usual. I was the only one who wished Mrs. Rayome a good spring break. Headed off to Algebra with a pit stop in the bathroom.
Someday I would love to just sit in the bathroom and see how many people actually talk to anyone in there. It is hilarious because no one will use a urinal if someone using the one next to it. I wish I could shove a steering wheel in my pants and just sit in there. And when someone gets enough nerve to ask me why I have a steering wheel in my pants I will say “Ahh, It drives me nuts!”
We sat in silence in class. We took some kind of test that was important (well it was important to someone). Everyone was freaking out about it. It went quick and easy for me. I am glad i don’t struggle in math at all.
Then I turned over my calculator
Wade: “Tell her I say hi back. Math is easy. I am the only cool person in my class, everyone else sucks. Where do you sit and where does Jessie sit?”
I drew a picture of the classroom. Today since I won’t get a reply until spring break is over I said “So how was your spring break? Do anything awesome?”
I wonder what he is going to tell me!
I am starting to pay attention to the tv in this classroom. It will tell me things about whats going on in the school. Like when clubs meet and when cool stuff is happening after school. I will be sure to watch it more. I turned to Morgan behind me and told her on a whim “I may not come back after this spring break”
She flipped out, “You cant just leave. Can you?”
“I go where my heart leads me. It lead me here and its almost time to leave”
This is truly how I feel about it.
I walked outside and around the school a way I have never gone before. I found someone who I had no idea they were. But they knew me before school and was asking me about my brothers and everything. She knew Jay, so I guess I should ask him if she knows her. She was very pretty.
Today in Outdoor ed, the sub was still there. We chilled in the hallways and a got one of the other freshmen to teach me how to fold paper in the throwing stars! That was badass! Probably that will be one of thoughs things I will remember about school for ever. I folded the note I wrote for Karli in that manner. Everyone went to the small gym to chill and shoot hoops. There was 3 other classes in there. And I got to hang out with Lora and her friend that is in tennis. Her name is Kally. I also think I am getting better with learning peoples names. I have this drive in me to be able to do handstands. So I practiced in the gym with some other kids I didn’t know. It was fun. I just believe it would be cool to be able to do handstand pushups! Heh, you gotta start somewhere. Once I was warn out from attempting. I sat down and ate my lunch. Had my apple and orange, then talked nutrition to other people asking me about why I never bring a sandwich or chips. Having a healthy body is just as important as having a healthy mind.
During lunch I stayed with one table, the table with Linda, Morgan, Lora, 2 of their friends, Eric and Clifford. They are turning out to be the table that wants me to stay the most. I enjoy their company, they just seem older than everyone else. Even tho they still act like little kids sometimes.
Over the past few days, I have been getting head aches right behind my eyes. At first I didn’t think much of it. But they just kept coming. So I started to pay more attention to them. I strongly believe that I get head aches from the iridescent lighting in school. I am use to the sun being the only thing that lights up my room and world. Now that it is replaced with fake lights, it hurts my head. I wonder how much that plays into the fact kids don’t like to get outside much because they dwell inside most of their lives. Maybe I’ll meditate on that one and see what I can come up with.
In Ag, Karli was excited that I wrote her a note. And I was excited that she was excited! I love when I make circles of happiness. She didn’t read it in class.
We watched 3 episodes of “Dirty Jobs” and I played on the computer with Shaila and Will. We played that game that is like snake and you cant run into any lines you create. You know that game they played in Tron, with the bikes? It was fun but I was being very loud and the teacher got upset at me. She has been very touchy since Garrison did that thing yesterday. I guess she is trying to make sure no one else gets any crazy ideas.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Marketing Presentation for Ag Class
Marketing
• Who will I target?
The plan is to target the turkeys, to do so we need the turkey callers to call them in.
• What will I be marketing?
I will be marketing turkey calls that look like phones. So I can “call” the turkeys in to kill.
• When will I market?
Since I will be targeting hunters, I will need to market when the hunting season is for that region.
• Where will I do most of my marketing?
I will do most of my marketing in hunting magazines across the nation. In the southern states, I will be marketing in hunting stores. I will also have 23 highly trained salesmen with mustaches that will advertize at gun clubs and gun shows. If you have ever had a scruffy looking wilderness guy with a mustache talk to you about anything in nature, you tend to agree with him a make logic out of the things he says.
• Why would people want this product?
People would want my product to inject humor into hunting. You see, my turkey calls look like cell phones. So to actually “call” in the turkeys will be fun and entertaining.
• What is the cost of the product and why?
Since my turkey calls are also miniature survival packs that carry matches, water purification tablets and have glow stick capabilities. They will cost only $65.99!!
Company
• What is your company’s name?
Since the owner of the company is Madisun, the name of the company is “Mad’s Turkey Callers”
• Where would your company be located?
My company will be located on the outskirts of a suburban area; next to the local gun club with intentions to obtain the most amount of marketing.
• What segment of industry will you be involved in?
The segment of witch my company will partake in will be strictly just the distributing of merchandise.
• How many employees will you have and why?
The employees that will work under me will consist of two receptionists, two book keepers, one maid to clean the bathroom, a team of four that will train salesmen, an average of 20 co-salesmen that will team up with my 23 highly trained (by me) salesmen when advertising to the public. First appearances are very important, so I will have one personal hair dresser, stylist and fashioner.
Commercial for TV
There will be a guy sneaking through the woods with camouflaged clothes on. Once he makes it to his spot next to a large red oak tree, he will start softy saying “Here turkey turki turki tuki tuki” raising in volume and speed. Soon he is yelling “HERE TURKEY”. All of a sudden, I jump out of the tree he was sitting next to, with a ridicules amount of camouflage on my body. “It will never work that way, silly goose” I say. With a saddened face the hunter looks toward the ground and starts to get angry. Then I say “Here buddy, don’t get mad, just next time make sure you have the new and improved Mad’s Turkey Call! It now comes with a built in survival kit!” I hand him a brand new one still in its box.
His face brightens up and with a quick “thanks” I fade back into the wilderness around me. He opens the box and pulls out the phone shaped turkey call.
“O this is awesome!” he says. Then he puts his new caller to his head and starts calling again.
Then my logo and contact information will flash onto the screen.
Feathers to Feet
Everything you need to know about birds
Magazine
Hi, my name is Madisun Holtzman and I am here to tell you about turkey callers. For the sake of adding a little humor to the act of killing animals, I have designed my turkey calls to have the appearance of cell phones. So you are actually “Calling” the turkeys in to kill. These turkey calls have also been designed to carry a small knife, matches, water purification tablets and all of the plastic has glowing capability for basic survival situations. It’s better to be safe then sorry, but with my new callers. You will not have to worry much about getting lost knowing that you will have the basic items needed to survive.
For the New and Improved Turkey Call, the price is $65.99
Call (972) 571-1080 for ordering information, billing or any other question you might have. We would be happy to hear from you!
• Who will I target?
The plan is to target the turkeys, to do so we need the turkey callers to call them in.
• What will I be marketing?
I will be marketing turkey calls that look like phones. So I can “call” the turkeys in to kill.
• When will I market?
Since I will be targeting hunters, I will need to market when the hunting season is for that region.
• Where will I do most of my marketing?
I will do most of my marketing in hunting magazines across the nation. In the southern states, I will be marketing in hunting stores. I will also have 23 highly trained salesmen with mustaches that will advertize at gun clubs and gun shows. If you have ever had a scruffy looking wilderness guy with a mustache talk to you about anything in nature, you tend to agree with him a make logic out of the things he says.
• Why would people want this product?
People would want my product to inject humor into hunting. You see, my turkey calls look like cell phones. So to actually “call” in the turkeys will be fun and entertaining.
• What is the cost of the product and why?
Since my turkey calls are also miniature survival packs that carry matches, water purification tablets and have glow stick capabilities. They will cost only $65.99!!
Company
• What is your company’s name?
Since the owner of the company is Madisun, the name of the company is “Mad’s Turkey Callers”
• Where would your company be located?
My company will be located on the outskirts of a suburban area; next to the local gun club with intentions to obtain the most amount of marketing.
• What segment of industry will you be involved in?
The segment of witch my company will partake in will be strictly just the distributing of merchandise.
• How many employees will you have and why?
The employees that will work under me will consist of two receptionists, two book keepers, one maid to clean the bathroom, a team of four that will train salesmen, an average of 20 co-salesmen that will team up with my 23 highly trained (by me) salesmen when advertising to the public. First appearances are very important, so I will have one personal hair dresser, stylist and fashioner.
Commercial for TV
There will be a guy sneaking through the woods with camouflaged clothes on. Once he makes it to his spot next to a large red oak tree, he will start softy saying “Here turkey turki turki tuki tuki” raising in volume and speed. Soon he is yelling “HERE TURKEY”. All of a sudden, I jump out of the tree he was sitting next to, with a ridicules amount of camouflage on my body. “It will never work that way, silly goose” I say. With a saddened face the hunter looks toward the ground and starts to get angry. Then I say “Here buddy, don’t get mad, just next time make sure you have the new and improved Mad’s Turkey Call! It now comes with a built in survival kit!” I hand him a brand new one still in its box.
His face brightens up and with a quick “thanks” I fade back into the wilderness around me. He opens the box and pulls out the phone shaped turkey call.
“O this is awesome!” he says. Then he puts his new caller to his head and starts calling again.
Then my logo and contact information will flash onto the screen.
Feathers to Feet
Everything you need to know about birds
Magazine
Hi, my name is Madisun Holtzman and I am here to tell you about turkey callers. For the sake of adding a little humor to the act of killing animals, I have designed my turkey calls to have the appearance of cell phones. So you are actually “Calling” the turkeys in to kill. These turkey calls have also been designed to carry a small knife, matches, water purification tablets and all of the plastic has glowing capability for basic survival situations. It’s better to be safe then sorry, but with my new callers. You will not have to worry much about getting lost knowing that you will have the basic items needed to survive.
For the New and Improved Turkey Call, the price is $65.99
Call (972) 571-1080 for ordering information, billing or any other question you might have. We would be happy to hear from you!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Monday, March 9th
Yesterday was the time change, Day light savings time is killer in the spring.
But it was nice waking up and it was still dark.
Over the past few days i have had a lot of homework. And i actually did it. Working on 3 different power points not knowing how was a great experience.
Last Friday, i presented a power point in outdoor ed on the redear sunfish. I was the only person that knew how to speak, present and teach people anything. What are these kids learning in school? No people skills at all? Most everyone there always has someone to say something bad about. Are their minds always full of bad thoughts and sex? Why haven't i had a deep conversation with anyone there yet?
People will say in a heart beat that you are their friend. but outside of the cafeteria, classroom, hallways, you never hear from them. All everyone is drawn too, is the feeling that they are important and you are willing to listen to their story with interest.
Today was great as always. i was in English class by 8:20 because i am still taking makeup tests. I have learned that if you make the teacher happy, its a lot easier to bring in homework two days later. I practically sleep through class, i am so tired. Maybe that is the reason why i struggle so much.
We have started reading the Odyssey and studying Greek mythology. It is very interesting. Things always seem easier to pay attention when they catch your eye.
while i was sitting there in English, I get a note from the main office.
"Where is you registration? it was due February 9th, today is March 9th. I'M WAITING. Mrs. Braswell. Mr Shafferman will begin assigning Wednesday night and/or a saturday school to all stuents who do not return their registrations by 4:00pm today."
What the hell... Seriously.. I was going to get punished for not doing anything?!? Kids lives are lived off of fear.. Fear of getting punished. and in school, you can get punished for anything they want you to do/not do. How do you train a dog? To be the best dog a dog can be? Do you train a dog out of negativeness? To be afraid of you? No, you don't. If you start teaching your child to be afraid, he will be afraid of you. when you are scared of someone, you want to get away from them.
where is the positive reinforcement?
In algebra, there was a pop quiz. It was very easy.
When i finished the quiz i got up and asked if i could go take care of my registration. After i got the okay and a teachers note saying i can leave, i headed down to the front office. i needed to get a teacher approval to take wrestling and theater tech. i only found Mr. Woodstock (haha! he is the theater tech teacher) but i didn't find the wrestling coach. i just wandered around the school for the rest of the time. It is really cool to just walk around and look in all of the little windows in the doors of the classrooms. I felt a little freedom but once the bell rang and the halls flooded with people, i headed off to outdoor ed. others were still finishing up presenting their fish power points. Board, i sat there in the dimly lit room on the verge of sleep. Once everyone finished, we were to meet up with another class that the teacher was out sick today. basically we went out side and walked the track (i walked it bare footed) and played wall ball. I didn't even see Coach Odle. I started thinking how awesome it would be to be able to do handstand pushups.. Then i started thinking. "well, i cant even do a handstand."
"You gotta start somewhere!"
So i went out into the empty soccer field and stood there with my hands in the air
I stood for a long time. thinking about if it would hurt to fall over.
"I cant do something if i am afraid of it.. thats just not possible.."
So i made up my mind to fall a few times to get the feel of it so i wont be scared anymore. I guess it looked kind of funny because a few kids came over to watch me fall on my back some more. i must of fallen on purpose 15ish times. i am getting much better now! I can stand on my hands for about 4 seconds now!!
Heh, things i learn in school.
But i do know that i will probably use this new skill more than other things i am/will learn in school! :)
Elliot and Caitie said that they would be coming to visit me during lunch! I was excited, I walked to the lunch room early and put some chairs aside at the crazy table to give them the full experience of what my day is like. The lunchroom fills up as i am scanning through everyone looking for them.
I check my phone and i had a message from Elliot saying "They wont let us in can you eat out front"
There is guards guarding the main exits from the cafeteria.
Confidently i walk straight passed one of them. He Just watched me pass by him without a word. Ninja-ing my way past people by heading into bathrooms and random hallways i make it to the front. and they were waiting for me. I didn't want to eat right in the front encase someone saw us and said something. so we went and sat in the grass. god, that chicken sandwich was amazing. I was very thankful they brought it to me. One of the teacher people that knows me walks up.
"Hello, well i know you are one of our students here but i don't know about you two.."
Looking him straight in the eyes with a smile "Your right sir, this is my brother and he wanted to come visit me for lunch, i have D lunch. In the main office they told him that only my parents could come visit me and he wanted to see me."
"Well, it is a nice day for a picnic so i wont say anything, but you really need a visitors pass if your going to do this again."
"Thank you very much" I said with a smile.
Once he was gone, I asked Elliot and Caitie if they wanted to see the school. Heh, i snuck them in, in the side door by the gyms and walked around. Showed them where i sit in the hallways during 3rd period. Then we walked to the Cafeteria. I introduced them to a few people i knew and a few i didn't. It seemed like the APs and teachers were closing in on us. Everywhere we turned someone was there. We kept moving untill the bell rang. Once they were gone, people asked me if he was my dad or something! hahaha!! it was great.
In Ag, we had a Sub. She was this nice lady with a heavy Yugoslavian accent. I told her all about my adventures with school. It is easy for me to get along with adults.
Karli is the same everyday. her mood never seems to change from her normal self centered self. But she is my friend just the same. A school friend who i never talk to or see outside of school. We went to the computer lab to finish up our presentations on marketing. Mine is really awesome, i actually had fun making it.
Once the bell rang at 4:05 i went to go meet up with Allesandra. We had plans drive up north to my mama's house. and so we did. It was nice to see her again. she is not like other school people, she will listen to stories i tell with interest. Unlike others.
But it was nice waking up and it was still dark.
Over the past few days i have had a lot of homework. And i actually did it. Working on 3 different power points not knowing how was a great experience.
Last Friday, i presented a power point in outdoor ed on the redear sunfish. I was the only person that knew how to speak, present and teach people anything. What are these kids learning in school? No people skills at all? Most everyone there always has someone to say something bad about. Are their minds always full of bad thoughts and sex? Why haven't i had a deep conversation with anyone there yet?
People will say in a heart beat that you are their friend. but outside of the cafeteria, classroom, hallways, you never hear from them. All everyone is drawn too, is the feeling that they are important and you are willing to listen to their story with interest.
Today was great as always. i was in English class by 8:20 because i am still taking makeup tests. I have learned that if you make the teacher happy, its a lot easier to bring in homework two days later. I practically sleep through class, i am so tired. Maybe that is the reason why i struggle so much.
We have started reading the Odyssey and studying Greek mythology. It is very interesting. Things always seem easier to pay attention when they catch your eye.
while i was sitting there in English, I get a note from the main office.
"Where is you registration? it was due February 9th, today is March 9th. I'M WAITING. Mrs. Braswell. Mr Shafferman will begin assigning Wednesday night and/or a saturday school to all stuents who do not return their registrations by 4:00pm today."
What the hell... Seriously.. I was going to get punished for not doing anything?!? Kids lives are lived off of fear.. Fear of getting punished. and in school, you can get punished for anything they want you to do/not do. How do you train a dog? To be the best dog a dog can be? Do you train a dog out of negativeness? To be afraid of you? No, you don't. If you start teaching your child to be afraid, he will be afraid of you. when you are scared of someone, you want to get away from them.
where is the positive reinforcement?
In algebra, there was a pop quiz. It was very easy.
When i finished the quiz i got up and asked if i could go take care of my registration. After i got the okay and a teachers note saying i can leave, i headed down to the front office. i needed to get a teacher approval to take wrestling and theater tech. i only found Mr. Woodstock (haha! he is the theater tech teacher) but i didn't find the wrestling coach. i just wandered around the school for the rest of the time. It is really cool to just walk around and look in all of the little windows in the doors of the classrooms. I felt a little freedom but once the bell rang and the halls flooded with people, i headed off to outdoor ed. others were still finishing up presenting their fish power points. Board, i sat there in the dimly lit room on the verge of sleep. Once everyone finished, we were to meet up with another class that the teacher was out sick today. basically we went out side and walked the track (i walked it bare footed) and played wall ball. I didn't even see Coach Odle. I started thinking how awesome it would be to be able to do handstand pushups.. Then i started thinking. "well, i cant even do a handstand."
"You gotta start somewhere!"
So i went out into the empty soccer field and stood there with my hands in the air
I stood for a long time. thinking about if it would hurt to fall over.
"I cant do something if i am afraid of it.. thats just not possible.."
So i made up my mind to fall a few times to get the feel of it so i wont be scared anymore. I guess it looked kind of funny because a few kids came over to watch me fall on my back some more. i must of fallen on purpose 15ish times. i am getting much better now! I can stand on my hands for about 4 seconds now!!
Heh, things i learn in school.
But i do know that i will probably use this new skill more than other things i am/will learn in school! :)
Elliot and Caitie said that they would be coming to visit me during lunch! I was excited, I walked to the lunch room early and put some chairs aside at the crazy table to give them the full experience of what my day is like. The lunchroom fills up as i am scanning through everyone looking for them.
I check my phone and i had a message from Elliot saying "They wont let us in can you eat out front"
There is guards guarding the main exits from the cafeteria.
Confidently i walk straight passed one of them. He Just watched me pass by him without a word. Ninja-ing my way past people by heading into bathrooms and random hallways i make it to the front. and they were waiting for me. I didn't want to eat right in the front encase someone saw us and said something. so we went and sat in the grass. god, that chicken sandwich was amazing. I was very thankful they brought it to me. One of the teacher people that knows me walks up.
"Hello, well i know you are one of our students here but i don't know about you two.."
Looking him straight in the eyes with a smile "Your right sir, this is my brother and he wanted to come visit me for lunch, i have D lunch. In the main office they told him that only my parents could come visit me and he wanted to see me."
"Well, it is a nice day for a picnic so i wont say anything, but you really need a visitors pass if your going to do this again."
"Thank you very much" I said with a smile.
Once he was gone, I asked Elliot and Caitie if they wanted to see the school. Heh, i snuck them in, in the side door by the gyms and walked around. Showed them where i sit in the hallways during 3rd period. Then we walked to the Cafeteria. I introduced them to a few people i knew and a few i didn't. It seemed like the APs and teachers were closing in on us. Everywhere we turned someone was there. We kept moving untill the bell rang. Once they were gone, people asked me if he was my dad or something! hahaha!! it was great.
In Ag, we had a Sub. She was this nice lady with a heavy Yugoslavian accent. I told her all about my adventures with school. It is easy for me to get along with adults.
Karli is the same everyday. her mood never seems to change from her normal self centered self. But she is my friend just the same. A school friend who i never talk to or see outside of school. We went to the computer lab to finish up our presentations on marketing. Mine is really awesome, i actually had fun making it.
Once the bell rang at 4:05 i went to go meet up with Allesandra. We had plans drive up north to my mama's house. and so we did. It was nice to see her again. she is not like other school people, she will listen to stories i tell with interest. Unlike others.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
