As the days went by, everything seemed to get redundant. Plus motivating my self to keep writing is a challenge.
During this whole month that i haven't been writing, time seemed to fast forward. My body has been melting into my schedule. Waking up early, going to be late, sometimes falling asleep on the couch when i get home. Its been keeping me occupied.
I am still thriving in school. One thing that i found out about myself, is that i seem to be drawn towards bad situations. to me, its like a test to see if i can stay happy. And the smiles always seem to come through.
I've also started saying "This is good" in any situation. even the bad ones. I got this from a story that i will tell in a sec. but ever since i been saying that in school, no one thinks anything is, in there mind, Good. And i do everything i can to prove them wrong.
Here is the story
THIS IS GOOD
A king in Africa had a close friend he grew up with. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is good!"
One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off.
Examining the situation the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!" To which the king replied, "No, this is NOT good!" and had his friend sent to jail.
About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took them to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake. As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb.
Being superstitious, they never ate anyone that was less than whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way. As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend.
He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend. "You were right" he said, "it was good that my thumb was blown off." And he proceeded to tell his friend all that had just happened. "And so I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad for me to do this."
"No," his friend replied, "this is good!"
"What do you mean, 'This is good?!'" How could it be good that I sent my friend to jail for a year."
"If I had not been in jail, I would have been with you."
I have told this story many times and i will tell it many more.
So, back to school! Yay!
Well, on the surface my classes are going well. But everyone knows its not whats on the surface that matters. I hate English, but its a love hate relationship. I love it because it makes me feel accomplished. And even i have noticed that i have been using bigger words. I hate it because everything has to be exactly how the teacher wants it. We started studding poems, and were assigned different poets to do research in the library over. Now i have never done the note card thing were when you find something in a book that you want to write down, you have to put it on a note card and state the source and the page number. Then after you get all of that, you have to paraphrase it to your own words with out plagiarizing it. Crazy. So i had 20 of these cards due, i even went to school earlier and stayed later so i could keep working in the schools library. I had 17 note cards with half of them paraphrased, and my stupid self put more than 1 sentence on each card... So that day that all that was due. I only got a 50 on a test grade. Now test grades are 60% of your full grade, quiz grades are 30% and daily work is 10%. That pushed proud grade of 75, down to a 67. Even tho i had everything in text that Mrs. Rayome asked for. To me, i would love to be good at English. And how the teacher didn't see anything good in what i did made me want to feel like a hopeless foul. Key word in there is "want". But i could easily see how that would make another kid feel like they are horrible at English or any other class! I believe that you are what you honestly think you are. If you say that your bad at English, then you probably will be. Unless you just trying to be modest. But that is still a step in a negative direction. This is good! maybe. :)
Well... Algebra is still easy for me. No problem at all with the work. But the teacher is not on my nice list anymore. I'll give a little back round so its easily-er understandable. I successfully started a cape day. It was the first and last Thursday of the month. i had about 6 people who wore capes with me. it was amazing. My cape is so awesome that i had people taking videos on cell phones of me running down the hallways like a ninja. At first the teachers didn't mind. But one day, one of the other guys that was wearing a cape had a class after me in English. Same teacher, the same one that did NOT say anything to me about my cape had an AP come and take him to the office for wearing a cape. Now he wont wear a cape anymore. another example of a kids life being run by fear. So i instead of wearing a cape on one of my Thursdays, i wore a lab coat with a name tag tat said "Dr. Madisun Holtzman" and carried my bag around like it was a briefcase. Claiming that people weren't eating their apple a day. and now the Doctor was here to stay! I walked into Algebra like that and the teacher looked at me and said sarcastic tone "Really?..." With the biggest smile on my face i said "Yes, i am really wearing a lab coat." She didn't say anything back. Class went by normally. Dam teacher trying to belittle me. Another day i decided to wear my extremely curly jew fro wig. O god, this got me so mad, but i didn't loose my cool. This wig is very realistic looking; I had people believing me that i "just didn't straighten my hair today". And they wouldn't know it was a wig until i asked them if they wanted to feel it. Well, teachers are not as gullible.
I took not more than 4 steps into the classroom when someone says “Madisun, your hair?”
Next thing I hear in the angriest voice I believe possible “TAKE THAT WIG OFF RIGHT NOW”
I looked her right in the eyes and said “One moment please, I would like to sit down first”
“No, take it off now and don’t make me say it again…”
Meanwhile every body in the classroom was dead silent with huge eyes.
I will admit that I took my sweet time walking to get my book and calculator before sitting down, but I was furious and started loading my words incase she was going to fire again.
Glaring at me as I slowly sit down with a big smile on my face, I took it off and started fixing my hair then I asked “Are you better now? Because there is no need to be teaching in a negative environment”
She didn’t say anything back.
I turned and started laughing about something with the people around me.
During that whole class I sat there thinking of how I was going to confront her and what I was going to say. And my moment of truth came when the bell rang and everyone rushed out of the classroom.
Coach Tumilty seemed like she was busy on the computer.
I walked up to her desk confidently but still a little nervous.
I say “excuse me, Coach Tumilty? Could I have a word with you?”
She turns to me with a blank face
Her: “Sure, what is it?”
Me: “I just wanted to talk to you about the start of this class. I really didn’t like the way I was treated by you when I walked in and wanted to let you know that I wasn’t wearing that to disrespect you in anyway. You have posters up all over the walls here that say ‘Dare to try’, ‘have the courage to be yourself’, and ‘you can’t be positive when you’re negative’. Well, I know my purpose in live is to make others happier and school can be a really down place with lots of bad feelings. Sometimes people don’t realize how much a smile can make your day better and I strive to spread happiness as far as I can. That was me being myself, and you tried to shoot me down. If I was any other kid that was trying to come out of his or her shell and be a better person and was shot down like that by a teacher, that could have been devastating. And for your information, I was planning on taking it off when the bell rang.”
With a look of shock on her face “The reason I told you to take it off was because within seconds of walking in, you were already disrupting my classroom. I have nothing against you and I am sorry if it sounded harsh but it needed to come off. I have let you wear many other things goofy things and I understand that is who you are, but the wig was just too much”.
Me: “Well, thank you for your apology but if I didn’t come up here to talk to you, I probably wouldn’t have gotten one. My favorite quote is ‘You may forget what someone said, but you will never forget how they made you feel’. I hope you have a wonderful day and I will see you tomorrow”.
I left and walked right next door to Teen Leadership.
I’ll write more soon, I am deprived of sleep and need to finish some homework :)
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
I was up and out of bed by 6:45. I have no idea how that happened.
I knew today i would have my class changes. So i spent the hour and forty five minutes walking around. I found a few friends/people i knew and invited them to skip down the hallways with me. I had no takers.
The only classes that have changed are Outdoor ed and Specialty Ag. The new classes i have now are Teen leader ship and Child Development. I still have English first period and Algebra second.
At first thinking about these new classes, i was skeptical. I was thinking about leaving because i was just about ready to get along with what is most important to me at the time. Now that this day is over. I know, i need to stick it out just a little longer.
My final grade for the first 9 weeks in English was a 72.
My final grade for Algebra was 90.
I got an 100 in Outdoor ed
and a 83 in Specialty Ag.
I PASSED!!! o yeah!! go me! i rock!!! now that i know i can pass if i try, i feel much better about myself.
So back to English. I brought my camera to school just to take a few pics. So i when i was in class before everyone else there. I took a few of just the room. Since it was a new 9 weeks, we had a few new students, one of witch was my friend Danni from Outdoor ed. But Mrs. Rayome assigned him a seat across the room. We were give the usual homework witch i still have not gotten to yet.. if at all. there is this freshman girl named Amy, who has English and Algebra with me, and she enjoys walking with me to class. She is a nice girl and i have just learned she was homeschool for 3 years. huh
I long while ago. Back when i was in that TAKS testing classroom. I wrote about this girl who was a bitch to me, and i threw it right back at her in the nicest way. She now gives me big long hugs every time i see her in the hallways. When people see you as their equal they have more respect for you. and guess what! Anyone has the potential to be someone elses equal. But it all falls back to fear.
In Algebra was cool until i got upset with Coach Tumilty.. On may occasions she has called me strange, and odd fellow, off, and different. None of that really effected me. I know its a great thing to be an individual and stand out in peoples minds. but today she really made me mad. We were talking about Ratios, probability's and Odds. Then out of no where
She looks at the class
Singled me out with her eyes and said
"Heres a good way to remember ODDS"
"Odd people are always failures in life... so odds over failures"
People thought this of a joke as it boiled my blood.
Look what they are teaching these people!!! O dont be different! its bad and you will never succeed in life that way. Just be like everyone else tells you to be and just dont even think about what really makes you happy because we all know is that happiness=money. Thats the full message i saw in that classroom today.
Once the bell rang, i went back into the school to chill for a minute and to see if i could find any friends. Teem Leadership is in portable 4.. and Algebra is in portable 3. right next to each other.
I wasn't mentally prepared for this class. I walked in and the first person i see is Alissandrea!!! The girl from Rome who was going to move in with me, but never did. She was extremely excited that i had a class with her. There is many older kids in this class. only 3 freshman. It is a really nice change.
Mrs. Jacobs is the teacher and she shook every persons hand when they came in.
I can not believe i have this class! it is perfect for me. Everything that she talked about today is what i have been writing about. We talked about how people like to be treated in a positive manner, they want respect, trust, and lots about first impressions. A lot about life stuff. Now the part that started to worried me, was the fact that people were in this class to get a slack off class. it is only a half credit class that is not mandatory to take. Who decided that reading the Odyssey or Shakespeare in English is SOOO much more important than learning about how to be a good person? The schools should be teaching Leadership classes way earlier. They teach you to respect people, and look at the bright side of things. How much easier would it be to teach a kid something if he really respected everything you had to say? If he sat there and sucked every word up like a sponge? In leadership you learn to listen to other peoples ideas.
The only other thing i thought about was how its not just the kids who need leadership skills, its the teachers.. Not just them but the people who manage them and you can go up and up and up. What i have herd and what it sounds like to me, it ends up to be all about money. Witch school has the smartest kids, according to tests... You can be graded on sooooooo many different things that tell someone if YOU are smart or not. It looks like schools only grade on English, Math, Science and History. hmmmm
Luckily I had D lunch again. I like it that way. so when you go to lunch you dont have to go back to that class and you go to the next one. Most of the people i sat with have been moved to a different lunch, but that means more people to meet!! I ate my apple with this girl from the swim teem, i'm still horrible with names.
Then Child Development in classroom D106.
I walked in and everyone was sitting at round tables and no one was making eye contact at all. I made my way over to the first person who made eye contact with me. I always find myself with the people who are different. She had her very dark brown short hair in pig tails, heavy dark eyeliner over 5 piercings in her ears, a collared button up shirt with a long sleeve undershirt. thick leather bracelets with chains on them and converse shoes. Jay always said i always find the weirdees. But she was cool. No one talked yet. I was stilling there for about 3 minutes in this deathly silence that was very thick. the teacher was busy doing something on her computer... Some great first impression. 2 people came in together, i looked at them smiling and they smiled back. I said "So apparently the only rule right now is to not talk and sit in silence". That lightened things up and other started whispering to each other. So in this class i had Karli from specialty ag. She like, like says like, like all the like freakin time. I couldn't like count, like that high, like on my like fingers, if i like tired. But she is still fun to hang with. This is also going to be a great class for me. Mrs. Diyer first started talking about how parents raise a child. saying how adults are trying to teach their kids about manners. but the kids is only going to do as he sees. Most of the parents that have young kids that they are teaching manners dont have them, themselves. It goes back to Leadership as well. I stayed after the bell rang to tell the teacher my full story. Where i came from, what i am here for, that i am not here to graduate but i am here to learn. I even told her about me writing everyday about what i see and understand about this learning environment. She got all excited about how i see things and is now excited that i am in her class.
After that i left early to go help my brother with his truck.
I knew today i would have my class changes. So i spent the hour and forty five minutes walking around. I found a few friends/people i knew and invited them to skip down the hallways with me. I had no takers.
The only classes that have changed are Outdoor ed and Specialty Ag. The new classes i have now are Teen leader ship and Child Development. I still have English first period and Algebra second.
At first thinking about these new classes, i was skeptical. I was thinking about leaving because i was just about ready to get along with what is most important to me at the time. Now that this day is over. I know, i need to stick it out just a little longer.
My final grade for the first 9 weeks in English was a 72.
My final grade for Algebra was 90.
I got an 100 in Outdoor ed
and a 83 in Specialty Ag.
I PASSED!!! o yeah!! go me! i rock!!! now that i know i can pass if i try, i feel much better about myself.
So back to English. I brought my camera to school just to take a few pics. So i when i was in class before everyone else there. I took a few of just the room. Since it was a new 9 weeks, we had a few new students, one of witch was my friend Danni from Outdoor ed. But Mrs. Rayome assigned him a seat across the room. We were give the usual homework witch i still have not gotten to yet.. if at all. there is this freshman girl named Amy, who has English and Algebra with me, and she enjoys walking with me to class. She is a nice girl and i have just learned she was homeschool for 3 years. huh
I long while ago. Back when i was in that TAKS testing classroom. I wrote about this girl who was a bitch to me, and i threw it right back at her in the nicest way. She now gives me big long hugs every time i see her in the hallways. When people see you as their equal they have more respect for you. and guess what! Anyone has the potential to be someone elses equal. But it all falls back to fear.
In Algebra was cool until i got upset with Coach Tumilty.. On may occasions she has called me strange, and odd fellow, off, and different. None of that really effected me. I know its a great thing to be an individual and stand out in peoples minds. but today she really made me mad. We were talking about Ratios, probability's and Odds. Then out of no where
She looks at the class
Singled me out with her eyes and said
"Heres a good way to remember ODDS"
"Odd people are always failures in life... so odds over failures"
People thought this of a joke as it boiled my blood.
Look what they are teaching these people!!! O dont be different! its bad and you will never succeed in life that way. Just be like everyone else tells you to be and just dont even think about what really makes you happy because we all know is that happiness=money. Thats the full message i saw in that classroom today.
Once the bell rang, i went back into the school to chill for a minute and to see if i could find any friends. Teem Leadership is in portable 4.. and Algebra is in portable 3. right next to each other.
I wasn't mentally prepared for this class. I walked in and the first person i see is Alissandrea!!! The girl from Rome who was going to move in with me, but never did. She was extremely excited that i had a class with her. There is many older kids in this class. only 3 freshman. It is a really nice change.
Mrs. Jacobs is the teacher and she shook every persons hand when they came in.
I can not believe i have this class! it is perfect for me. Everything that she talked about today is what i have been writing about. We talked about how people like to be treated in a positive manner, they want respect, trust, and lots about first impressions. A lot about life stuff. Now the part that started to worried me, was the fact that people were in this class to get a slack off class. it is only a half credit class that is not mandatory to take. Who decided that reading the Odyssey or Shakespeare in English is SOOO much more important than learning about how to be a good person? The schools should be teaching Leadership classes way earlier. They teach you to respect people, and look at the bright side of things. How much easier would it be to teach a kid something if he really respected everything you had to say? If he sat there and sucked every word up like a sponge? In leadership you learn to listen to other peoples ideas.
The only other thing i thought about was how its not just the kids who need leadership skills, its the teachers.. Not just them but the people who manage them and you can go up and up and up. What i have herd and what it sounds like to me, it ends up to be all about money. Witch school has the smartest kids, according to tests... You can be graded on sooooooo many different things that tell someone if YOU are smart or not. It looks like schools only grade on English, Math, Science and History. hmmmm
Luckily I had D lunch again. I like it that way. so when you go to lunch you dont have to go back to that class and you go to the next one. Most of the people i sat with have been moved to a different lunch, but that means more people to meet!! I ate my apple with this girl from the swim teem, i'm still horrible with names.
Then Child Development in classroom D106.
I walked in and everyone was sitting at round tables and no one was making eye contact at all. I made my way over to the first person who made eye contact with me. I always find myself with the people who are different. She had her very dark brown short hair in pig tails, heavy dark eyeliner over 5 piercings in her ears, a collared button up shirt with a long sleeve undershirt. thick leather bracelets with chains on them and converse shoes. Jay always said i always find the weirdees. But she was cool. No one talked yet. I was stilling there for about 3 minutes in this deathly silence that was very thick. the teacher was busy doing something on her computer... Some great first impression. 2 people came in together, i looked at them smiling and they smiled back. I said "So apparently the only rule right now is to not talk and sit in silence". That lightened things up and other started whispering to each other. So in this class i had Karli from specialty ag. She like, like says like, like all the like freakin time. I couldn't like count, like that high, like on my like fingers, if i like tired. But she is still fun to hang with. This is also going to be a great class for me. Mrs. Diyer first started talking about how parents raise a child. saying how adults are trying to teach their kids about manners. but the kids is only going to do as he sees. Most of the parents that have young kids that they are teaching manners dont have them, themselves. It goes back to Leadership as well. I stayed after the bell rang to tell the teacher my full story. Where i came from, what i am here for, that i am not here to graduate but i am here to learn. I even told her about me writing everyday about what i see and understand about this learning environment. She got all excited about how i see things and is now excited that i am in her class.
After that i left early to go help my brother with his truck.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Lab coat Thursday
I woke up in the morning ready for the day. Lately it have been hard to actually get out of bed and shower. But I was ready.
Today I had finals in English and Algebra. Wearing my lab coat really made me feel smarter and ready to take important tests. And that’s what I told everyone who asked why I was wearing a lab coat.
It really makes me happy to be with such a large number of people, but I am sure that doesn’t apply to everyone. Some people just need to be alone in solitude and I understand that when meeting other people.
I have met someone today who I believe is meant to know me. But I’ll tell you about that later.
I looked sharp today, and I got many compliments from strangers. I wore my nice black jeans that I got from the buckle, A nice black button up short sleeve silk shirt with a long sleeve gray under shirt with my legit white lab coat. It even had the pocket protectors. You should have seen me.
English was quick and easy; as long as you worked. Since we finished reading the version of the Odyssey we had to answer questions about it then read a poem and answer questions about that also. But it took up the whole 1:40 minutes of class with its 50 difficult questions. Everywhere I went to day I had an average of 6 people ask me what was up with the coat. More people seemed to stair when i had the coat on rather than the Cloak.
Once when i was in the hallways, a random girl i have never seen before comes up to me and says "Are you a doctor?" I replied "I am what ever you want me to be"
Sometime i even creep myself out with the things i say and i feel sorry for saying them. But not sorry enough to stop!
Coach Tumilty never has passes a time to make fun of someone, but shes not mean about it. She said something like "I keep being someone i am not" I just told her that since we had a big test today, i wanted to feel smart, look smart, smell smart, eat smart and think smart. As long as you do something with confidence, others will not question you. We were taking something called MidTerm Finals, i think. Basically a 50 page test on everything you've learned. Algebra is sill easy for me. I have a 95 in that class! Thanks to my awesome Math Tutor Cyndy!
Once i was finished with that. me and Morgan started writing little notes to each other. Everyone has a nice side and as long as your on it, things will go well.
Since we had Finals today, the finals were in coaches own words "your finals are to be nice to me and i will grade your behavior". I was blessed with having Outdoor ed. It was an amazing class and i have made a perfect 100 just because i showed interest in the things we studied. There was 3 kids that failed because they were little bitches to coach Odle. That had it coming to them though. So today, we walked to sonic and ate lunch there.
I brought my lunch from sonic back to eat in the cafeteria. I have really grown found of Morgan, she seems to be the only one who is really fun but not a slut. The table she sits at is packed so i always sit with in eye distance of it and they always come over to talk to me. It is a good feeling with friendship is a 2 way road.
After lunch i met up with Jay and we made a ton of noise chasing each other around the lunchroom. Jumping over chairs and stuff, making dirt bike noises with our mouths. great fun.
We did have finals in Ag. But it was easy. We needed to make a Job application for a job that is involved in Agriculture. That basically every job out there if you put your mind to it. Agriculture is everywhere, we wear cotton shirts and pants everyday. Karli and i have become good friends. But i still see a pattern with the people i meet. Or maybe i see it because it is in everyone. The fact everyone that gets close to me seems to be hurting inside. emotional pain. The people i dont see that in tend to be dicks and not know it.
After school i headed to the Chess cub room. I brought my 3 way chess board and amazed everyone one by its excellence! i played with Alexander and another kid that is friendly with me. they teemed up on me and kicked my butt! bastards! haha! just kidding. I lost fair and square.
I left with Alexander, we walked to starbucks down the road and talked the whole way there. I am glad i have met him, he inspires me to do the things i want. And he is the only person in school i have told about this blog. I talked to him about how there is so much fear in school and kids lives and thats why bad things happen. he is also the one who wants to start a Japanese club with me. I told him many stories about my journeys to Japan. I see a lot of myself in him. He told me "You are everything i want to be, and you have done everything i want to do at the moment". with my bad memory i might have change the wording on accident but I can not remember a time i have ever felt that good about myself. That walk right then and there was one of the best moments of me going to school. The one thing that started me thinking again, was after i told him about how i see things in school with the fear and no positiveness, he said "that deep and makes sooo much sense". The people that their lives are being corrupted, don't even know it! Their subconscious knows but they dont see it them self's. i just wish i could make others understand that their lives have sooo much fear in them and they don't even know what it is that makes them feel that way. Its human nature to be afraid of the unknown and unexplained.
Today I had finals in English and Algebra. Wearing my lab coat really made me feel smarter and ready to take important tests. And that’s what I told everyone who asked why I was wearing a lab coat.
It really makes me happy to be with such a large number of people, but I am sure that doesn’t apply to everyone. Some people just need to be alone in solitude and I understand that when meeting other people.
I have met someone today who I believe is meant to know me. But I’ll tell you about that later.
I looked sharp today, and I got many compliments from strangers. I wore my nice black jeans that I got from the buckle, A nice black button up short sleeve silk shirt with a long sleeve gray under shirt with my legit white lab coat. It even had the pocket protectors. You should have seen me.
English was quick and easy; as long as you worked. Since we finished reading the version of the Odyssey we had to answer questions about it then read a poem and answer questions about that also. But it took up the whole 1:40 minutes of class with its 50 difficult questions. Everywhere I went to day I had an average of 6 people ask me what was up with the coat. More people seemed to stair when i had the coat on rather than the Cloak.
Once when i was in the hallways, a random girl i have never seen before comes up to me and says "Are you a doctor?" I replied "I am what ever you want me to be"
Sometime i even creep myself out with the things i say and i feel sorry for saying them. But not sorry enough to stop!
Coach Tumilty never has passes a time to make fun of someone, but shes not mean about it. She said something like "I keep being someone i am not" I just told her that since we had a big test today, i wanted to feel smart, look smart, smell smart, eat smart and think smart. As long as you do something with confidence, others will not question you. We were taking something called MidTerm Finals, i think. Basically a 50 page test on everything you've learned. Algebra is sill easy for me. I have a 95 in that class! Thanks to my awesome Math Tutor Cyndy!
Once i was finished with that. me and Morgan started writing little notes to each other. Everyone has a nice side and as long as your on it, things will go well.
Since we had Finals today, the finals were in coaches own words "your finals are to be nice to me and i will grade your behavior". I was blessed with having Outdoor ed. It was an amazing class and i have made a perfect 100 just because i showed interest in the things we studied. There was 3 kids that failed because they were little bitches to coach Odle. That had it coming to them though. So today, we walked to sonic and ate lunch there.
I brought my lunch from sonic back to eat in the cafeteria. I have really grown found of Morgan, she seems to be the only one who is really fun but not a slut. The table she sits at is packed so i always sit with in eye distance of it and they always come over to talk to me. It is a good feeling with friendship is a 2 way road.
After lunch i met up with Jay and we made a ton of noise chasing each other around the lunchroom. Jumping over chairs and stuff, making dirt bike noises with our mouths. great fun.
We did have finals in Ag. But it was easy. We needed to make a Job application for a job that is involved in Agriculture. That basically every job out there if you put your mind to it. Agriculture is everywhere, we wear cotton shirts and pants everyday. Karli and i have become good friends. But i still see a pattern with the people i meet. Or maybe i see it because it is in everyone. The fact everyone that gets close to me seems to be hurting inside. emotional pain. The people i dont see that in tend to be dicks and not know it.
After school i headed to the Chess cub room. I brought my 3 way chess board and amazed everyone one by its excellence! i played with Alexander and another kid that is friendly with me. they teemed up on me and kicked my butt! bastards! haha! just kidding. I lost fair and square.
I left with Alexander, we walked to starbucks down the road and talked the whole way there. I am glad i have met him, he inspires me to do the things i want. And he is the only person in school i have told about this blog. I talked to him about how there is so much fear in school and kids lives and thats why bad things happen. he is also the one who wants to start a Japanese club with me. I told him many stories about my journeys to Japan. I see a lot of myself in him. He told me "You are everything i want to be, and you have done everything i want to do at the moment". with my bad memory i might have change the wording on accident but I can not remember a time i have ever felt that good about myself. That walk right then and there was one of the best moments of me going to school. The one thing that started me thinking again, was after i told him about how i see things in school with the fear and no positiveness, he said "that deep and makes sooo much sense". The people that their lives are being corrupted, don't even know it! Their subconscious knows but they dont see it them self's. i just wish i could make others understand that their lives have sooo much fear in them and they don't even know what it is that makes them feel that way. Its human nature to be afraid of the unknown and unexplained.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Wednesday
I have been kicking it back in the mornings lately. I will wake up at around 7:40 and take a shower get to school with my hair still wet. Thats when my hair smells the best.
I was planning on wearing my lab coat to school today, but while i was looking for it i found my cloak my mom had made for me out of velvet. So i threw that on as i walked out the door.
The breaks on my truck need new pads and my dad wont pay for them so i have been having him take me to school every day. I made it there at 8:30ish and ran around the hallways with my cloak billowing behind me.
If you have ever seen the movie Role Models, he said "People tend to avoid people with capes" Its not true. I had people taking pictures of me. But every time a teacher or an AP was near i would push it all behind me so it didn't look much like a cape.
Every time someone asked me "why are you wearing a cape?" I replied with "Why are you wearing clothes?". It was a fun day.
We started finals in English today. Since we finished reading the Odyssey we had to write a paper about what hero characteristics Odysseus had. But i guess i didn't get that memo. I wrote a page on what the Odyssey was about. Then i found that memo and had to write two more pages on that. It was a pain.
I am officially passing all my classes now. But i guess that doesn't mean much coming from me.
To keep hydrated, i drink an ozarka bottle of water every class period. but the lights in school still give me head aches. Today i did not get any. I think its because it was a rainy day and my body knew it was suppose to dimer.
When i am in the hallways, it almost like i have a beacon flashing over my head saying "look this way!" because it seemed like every person at least glanced at me. I wasn't sure i like that much attention. Just a little overwhelming.
In Algebra, we have also been getting ready for Finals. Morgan, Jessie, Jenna, Bradey and I all movie our desk together so we can help each other as much as possible.
Hearing what they call normal talk about others, what i call being a dick behind someone elses back; kind of ticked me off just a bit. So i tried to change the subject when they were talking about how someone had pimples.
i said jokingly "well.. you.. got an.. funny looking.. umm. face."
Jenna replied with "No, you have a funny looking face"
Me "O, so is that why people laugh at me?"
It was a very enjoyable math class
That kid i talked to on the back on the calculator cover is lame and wont talk to me anymore. o well, his loss.
As i was filling up my water bottle again i found this new way to my class. and ran into Clifford. He told me i should work at Scarborough Fair with him! I never knew he worked there. Thats one of my childhood dreams!!! I love knowing people who know people.
Once i was in Outdoor Ed, Coach Odle said that if we finished all 10 pages of our journals then we are free to do what ever we want and we have nothing else to grade. since i was done i got Micky to go to the weight room with me to workout. Micky is a cool dude, i get along with him the best out of everyone else. Hes going to be one the people i will miss once i leave. I never knew how fast time goes by when your doing nothing... Maybe it was my magical cloak but lunch came fast.
Nothing ever changes. I sat at my sexytime table, with Eric, Morgan, Linda, Clifford and countless others that are strange. Was there for about 5 minutes then wandered off when they were talking about something disgusting. I realized i didn't want to be there, so i left. easy as that.
Still wearing my cloak i ran around the lunch room until i caught the stink eye from one of the AP's. God he scared me. Then i felt pity for eveyone else that has gotten on the bad side of that guy. Why dont schools have people that walk around and give people hope, confidence, and positive things, when the school has Nega-Givers (a word i made up for someone who gives negativeness to others)
At the end of lunch as the hallways fill me and Eric Called for Jay by making dirt bike noises with our mouths. He came running around the corner, sees me wearing a cape and keeps running. I chase after him with my cape billowing around and behind me. We ran around the lunch room then outside. I headed straight to class because i didn't want my awesome cloak to get wet.
We have a Sub in Ag. He seems cool. He told us that he also went to Marcus Highschool. He loved my cape, told me that i could take the attendance to the office only if i wear the cape there and back. Agreed calling myself Mistafulease the Attendance Master. The school was like the highway without the cars. Silent
Once i get back we headed to the book room to give our books back. We dont need them anymore. Friday will be 9 week mark for me. Thats when i switch classes!
We finished up some bookwork about job seeking and applying skills in agriculture.
Karli keeps talking to me about the bad things in her life. I found out today that she is a Taurus. Just like my older brother. That really did help me understand how she thinks. kind of crazy :)
Once the bell rang we looked outside at the was a freakin river running through the parking lot. It was awesome. I want to go play in the rain, but i knew i would get my cloak and books wet.
Later in the front of the school. i was talking to one of the kids that is in the chess club. we get to talking and i told him that i have traveled to Japan. He wants me to help him start a Japanese club. I wouldn't want to start something that i would end out bailing out on in the end. So i will talk to him about it and see.
I was planning on wearing my lab coat to school today, but while i was looking for it i found my cloak my mom had made for me out of velvet. So i threw that on as i walked out the door.
The breaks on my truck need new pads and my dad wont pay for them so i have been having him take me to school every day. I made it there at 8:30ish and ran around the hallways with my cloak billowing behind me.
If you have ever seen the movie Role Models, he said "People tend to avoid people with capes" Its not true. I had people taking pictures of me. But every time a teacher or an AP was near i would push it all behind me so it didn't look much like a cape.
Every time someone asked me "why are you wearing a cape?" I replied with "Why are you wearing clothes?". It was a fun day.
We started finals in English today. Since we finished reading the Odyssey we had to write a paper about what hero characteristics Odysseus had. But i guess i didn't get that memo. I wrote a page on what the Odyssey was about. Then i found that memo and had to write two more pages on that. It was a pain.
I am officially passing all my classes now. But i guess that doesn't mean much coming from me.
To keep hydrated, i drink an ozarka bottle of water every class period. but the lights in school still give me head aches. Today i did not get any. I think its because it was a rainy day and my body knew it was suppose to dimer.
When i am in the hallways, it almost like i have a beacon flashing over my head saying "look this way!" because it seemed like every person at least glanced at me. I wasn't sure i like that much attention. Just a little overwhelming.
In Algebra, we have also been getting ready for Finals. Morgan, Jessie, Jenna, Bradey and I all movie our desk together so we can help each other as much as possible.
Hearing what they call normal talk about others, what i call being a dick behind someone elses back; kind of ticked me off just a bit. So i tried to change the subject when they were talking about how someone had pimples.
i said jokingly "well.. you.. got an.. funny looking.. umm. face."
Jenna replied with "No, you have a funny looking face"
Me "O, so is that why people laugh at me?"
It was a very enjoyable math class
That kid i talked to on the back on the calculator cover is lame and wont talk to me anymore. o well, his loss.
As i was filling up my water bottle again i found this new way to my class. and ran into Clifford. He told me i should work at Scarborough Fair with him! I never knew he worked there. Thats one of my childhood dreams!!! I love knowing people who know people.
Once i was in Outdoor Ed, Coach Odle said that if we finished all 10 pages of our journals then we are free to do what ever we want and we have nothing else to grade. since i was done i got Micky to go to the weight room with me to workout. Micky is a cool dude, i get along with him the best out of everyone else. Hes going to be one the people i will miss once i leave. I never knew how fast time goes by when your doing nothing... Maybe it was my magical cloak but lunch came fast.
Nothing ever changes. I sat at my sexytime table, with Eric, Morgan, Linda, Clifford and countless others that are strange. Was there for about 5 minutes then wandered off when they were talking about something disgusting. I realized i didn't want to be there, so i left. easy as that.
Still wearing my cloak i ran around the lunch room until i caught the stink eye from one of the AP's. God he scared me. Then i felt pity for eveyone else that has gotten on the bad side of that guy. Why dont schools have people that walk around and give people hope, confidence, and positive things, when the school has Nega-Givers (a word i made up for someone who gives negativeness to others)
At the end of lunch as the hallways fill me and Eric Called for Jay by making dirt bike noises with our mouths. He came running around the corner, sees me wearing a cape and keeps running. I chase after him with my cape billowing around and behind me. We ran around the lunch room then outside. I headed straight to class because i didn't want my awesome cloak to get wet.
We have a Sub in Ag. He seems cool. He told us that he also went to Marcus Highschool. He loved my cape, told me that i could take the attendance to the office only if i wear the cape there and back. Agreed calling myself Mistafulease the Attendance Master. The school was like the highway without the cars. Silent
Once i get back we headed to the book room to give our books back. We dont need them anymore. Friday will be 9 week mark for me. Thats when i switch classes!
We finished up some bookwork about job seeking and applying skills in agriculture.
Karli keeps talking to me about the bad things in her life. I found out today that she is a Taurus. Just like my older brother. That really did help me understand how she thinks. kind of crazy :)
Once the bell rang we looked outside at the was a freakin river running through the parking lot. It was awesome. I want to go play in the rain, but i knew i would get my cloak and books wet.
Later in the front of the school. i was talking to one of the kids that is in the chess club. we get to talking and i told him that i have traveled to Japan. He wants me to help him start a Japanese club. I wouldn't want to start something that i would end out bailing out on in the end. So i will talk to him about it and see.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Spring break Friday!
If you are reading this, I am warning you. This was the most laid back awesome day that I thought I would never see. I got to really talk to people for once, because of the fact that we did absolutely nothing in ALL of my classes. I was soo happy that everyone was soooo happy. It made my job of spreading happiness tremendously easy.
Yesterday I presented my persuasive power point on “Why Hunting is Necessary” and it went very well. In my option, I thought I had the best one. But it wont get graded until I get back from spring break. My positive and confidant voice worked wonders, I had everyone fullest attention.
Someone did theirs on “Gun Control”. O gosh.. I didn’t agree with him. His intentions were to make it harder for people to get any type of gun. I disagree, thanks to my friend Joe.
This other girl did hers on abortion. Pro life. All I am going to say is that I had to disagree with the things she said…
While they were doing power points I decided to write a note to Karli, the girl in my ag class. Everyday she writes a letter to her best friend. And I thought how cool that was.
In algebra, since the calculators are assigned one person for the whole time your there. I continued to have a conversation with someone named Wade Cole. He is in the class before me. I started it by writing on the back of the calculator cover, saying “Hey first period my name is Madisun. Whats up?”
He replied: “Madisun who?”
Me: “Madisun Holtzman, You probably don’t know me because I have been homeschooled until this semester. Whats your name?”
Him: “Wade Cole”
I asked everyone around me if they knew him. Jessie said she did and to tell him she said hi.
Me: “O cool, Jessie says hi! So how do you like math class? Do you sit next to any cool people?”
Outdoor ed was awesome. Remember, I am still talking about yesterday. We had a sub and she said that Coach Odle was sick. I doubt it though. He seems just like the type of person that would say he was sick to get away, especially the 2 days before spring break.
We sat in the hallway and did nothing until Coach Galls class came over to watch a movie. No one paid any attention to the TV and I watched Step Brothers on Ian’s iPod. I love that movie. So far so fun!
Lunch was cool. My dad came and brought me Chick-ful-a. And stayed to talk to my friends! Haha! They weren’t expecting that. My dad isn’t quite normal. Morgan said to me “Your dad is very interesting.. Kind of threw me off guard!”
Yesterday for Specialty ag class, Ms Welch said if we finish chapter 26 then tomorrow (today) We can watch dirty jobs for an Hour and forty five minutes. I gave Karli her note. It was all folded up nicely in this awesome star I learned how to fold. She was excited. But we mostly worked in silence. The all of a sudden! Garrison jumps up as his chair slams against the wall, with the biggest smile on his face he runs over to Ms Welch’s desk and says with a booming voice “O GOD MS WELCH, I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!! Please let me go!”
She looks at him with confusion
“Garrison, whats wrong with you? I have never seen you act like this. No you cant go..”
Still smiling and happy as can be with the whole classes attention on him Garrison says
“Well to bad because I am going to go anyway!” and starts walking towards the door.
As he makes it to the door he hesitates for a second and Ms Welch has a chance to say
“No! don’t you dare go out that door.”
Garrison: “I have to go to the bathroom!!! Do you want me to piss in the corner? My bladder is going to explode!”
Teacher: “Fine… Go. But you better be back here in 5 minutes.”
Garrison: “Okay, I’ll be back!” And bolts out the door like an arrow just lunched from a bow. He was gone.
Immediately, Ms Welch walked into her office and calls the main office to get a hold of his councilor and shuts the door. I really couldn’t hear what she was saying but I could tell it didn’t sound good for Garrison.
Before he came back Jess told Ms Welch to check his Coke bottle to see if there was any alcohol in it. In the end Jess smelled it and said no. but I knew there wasn’t anything in it. It was just another case of “get me away from this place that is freighting me” and I was glad he did!! Once he got back Ms Welch told him to go straight to the Main Office. That smile never faded off of his face. He turned to me and said “I’m out yall, I get to go home” I returned his smile and high fived him.
After all that excitement, I wrote on a paper “what would you think if I peed in the corner with him?” and gave it to Karli
I was surprised to see that she was very upset… Disturbed with the fact that Garrison “acted out of line” as she put it. God dam, these freaking robots have to power to program other people to have the same thinking pattern. I looked at everyone in that classroom and didn’t see a single happy face! I was the only one happy for Garrison to know that he was doing what he wanted!! He wanted to get away and he did! Prof that you can do what you want! As long as you know what will follow after, you will be fine with it!!
After school was over, I realized it was Thursday. Chess club meet!!! Lora is always happy to see me :)
I played 4 games of chess and won 3 of them.
I played 2 games with their best player and won one of the games. He was a strange person. But he was awesome! I can’t explain it for some reason. He was like one of those really smart people who you might think has a social problem but doesn’t. It just seemed like his mind worked in a different way then everyone else’s. Not once did I hear him laugh when I was in that room playing chess. And for some reason I could still tell when he was very happy. While we were going at it in a game of chess, he grabbed his cheeks and pulled them away from his cheeks to make the funniest noise I had heard that day!! As I am sitting there laughing incredibly hard. He just sat there looking at me with a straight face, cocked his head a little to one side like a dog does and says without a quiver in his voice “I really enjoy your laugh. It is not like other peoples laughs that are fake. You have a true laugh that makes me feel extremely happy inside, it makes me wana laugh with you”
Still laughed at what he did I say with a smile “Thank you, Very much, It really means a lot to hear that from you”. We are now friends and every time I see him in the hallways I always stop to shake his hand.
Today was much easier, in English we watched the movie Hercules the whole time. I actually slept in class. The first time ever! I should do it more often. Really didn’t talk to anyone during first period. Not many people were ecstatic about spring break, this surprised me. When I got board of watching the movie and sleeping I decided to write a note to Karli. Every day, she will write a note for her best friend. And she’ll color it and make it look cool. I really never had someone to write too, that I knew would read it. So I went ahead and wrote her a nice long note asking questions about her family and telling her a few things about me. It was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. Just to write a page to a friend!
Once the bell rang I sat there finishing it up. Everyone rushed out like usual. I was the only one who wished Mrs. Rayome a good spring break. Headed off to Algebra with a pit stop in the bathroom.
Someday I would love to just sit in the bathroom and see how many people actually talk to anyone in there. It is hilarious because no one will use a urinal if someone using the one next to it. I wish I could shove a steering wheel in my pants and just sit in there. And when someone gets enough nerve to ask me why I have a steering wheel in my pants I will say “Ahh, It drives me nuts!”
We sat in silence in class. We took some kind of test that was important (well it was important to someone). Everyone was freaking out about it. It went quick and easy for me. I am glad i don’t struggle in math at all.
Then I turned over my calculator
Wade: “Tell her I say hi back. Math is easy. I am the only cool person in my class, everyone else sucks. Where do you sit and where does Jessie sit?”
I drew a picture of the classroom. Today since I won’t get a reply until spring break is over I said “So how was your spring break? Do anything awesome?”
I wonder what he is going to tell me!
I am starting to pay attention to the tv in this classroom. It will tell me things about whats going on in the school. Like when clubs meet and when cool stuff is happening after school. I will be sure to watch it more. I turned to Morgan behind me and told her on a whim “I may not come back after this spring break”
She flipped out, “You cant just leave. Can you?”
“I go where my heart leads me. It lead me here and its almost time to leave”
This is truly how I feel about it.
I walked outside and around the school a way I have never gone before. I found someone who I had no idea they were. But they knew me before school and was asking me about my brothers and everything. She knew Jay, so I guess I should ask him if she knows her. She was very pretty.
Today in Outdoor ed, the sub was still there. We chilled in the hallways and a got one of the other freshmen to teach me how to fold paper in the throwing stars! That was badass! Probably that will be one of thoughs things I will remember about school for ever. I folded the note I wrote for Karli in that manner. Everyone went to the small gym to chill and shoot hoops. There was 3 other classes in there. And I got to hang out with Lora and her friend that is in tennis. Her name is Kally. I also think I am getting better with learning peoples names. I have this drive in me to be able to do handstands. So I practiced in the gym with some other kids I didn’t know. It was fun. I just believe it would be cool to be able to do handstand pushups! Heh, you gotta start somewhere. Once I was warn out from attempting. I sat down and ate my lunch. Had my apple and orange, then talked nutrition to other people asking me about why I never bring a sandwich or chips. Having a healthy body is just as important as having a healthy mind.
During lunch I stayed with one table, the table with Linda, Morgan, Lora, 2 of their friends, Eric and Clifford. They are turning out to be the table that wants me to stay the most. I enjoy their company, they just seem older than everyone else. Even tho they still act like little kids sometimes.
Over the past few days, I have been getting head aches right behind my eyes. At first I didn’t think much of it. But they just kept coming. So I started to pay more attention to them. I strongly believe that I get head aches from the iridescent lighting in school. I am use to the sun being the only thing that lights up my room and world. Now that it is replaced with fake lights, it hurts my head. I wonder how much that plays into the fact kids don’t like to get outside much because they dwell inside most of their lives. Maybe I’ll meditate on that one and see what I can come up with.
In Ag, Karli was excited that I wrote her a note. And I was excited that she was excited! I love when I make circles of happiness. She didn’t read it in class.
We watched 3 episodes of “Dirty Jobs” and I played on the computer with Shaila and Will. We played that game that is like snake and you cant run into any lines you create. You know that game they played in Tron, with the bikes? It was fun but I was being very loud and the teacher got upset at me. She has been very touchy since Garrison did that thing yesterday. I guess she is trying to make sure no one else gets any crazy ideas.
Yesterday I presented my persuasive power point on “Why Hunting is Necessary” and it went very well. In my option, I thought I had the best one. But it wont get graded until I get back from spring break. My positive and confidant voice worked wonders, I had everyone fullest attention.
Someone did theirs on “Gun Control”. O gosh.. I didn’t agree with him. His intentions were to make it harder for people to get any type of gun. I disagree, thanks to my friend Joe.
This other girl did hers on abortion. Pro life. All I am going to say is that I had to disagree with the things she said…
While they were doing power points I decided to write a note to Karli, the girl in my ag class. Everyday she writes a letter to her best friend. And I thought how cool that was.
In algebra, since the calculators are assigned one person for the whole time your there. I continued to have a conversation with someone named Wade Cole. He is in the class before me. I started it by writing on the back of the calculator cover, saying “Hey first period my name is Madisun. Whats up?”
He replied: “Madisun who?”
Me: “Madisun Holtzman, You probably don’t know me because I have been homeschooled until this semester. Whats your name?”
Him: “Wade Cole”
I asked everyone around me if they knew him. Jessie said she did and to tell him she said hi.
Me: “O cool, Jessie says hi! So how do you like math class? Do you sit next to any cool people?”
Outdoor ed was awesome. Remember, I am still talking about yesterday. We had a sub and she said that Coach Odle was sick. I doubt it though. He seems just like the type of person that would say he was sick to get away, especially the 2 days before spring break.
We sat in the hallway and did nothing until Coach Galls class came over to watch a movie. No one paid any attention to the TV and I watched Step Brothers on Ian’s iPod. I love that movie. So far so fun!
Lunch was cool. My dad came and brought me Chick-ful-a. And stayed to talk to my friends! Haha! They weren’t expecting that. My dad isn’t quite normal. Morgan said to me “Your dad is very interesting.. Kind of threw me off guard!”
Yesterday for Specialty ag class, Ms Welch said if we finish chapter 26 then tomorrow (today) We can watch dirty jobs for an Hour and forty five minutes. I gave Karli her note. It was all folded up nicely in this awesome star I learned how to fold. She was excited. But we mostly worked in silence. The all of a sudden! Garrison jumps up as his chair slams against the wall, with the biggest smile on his face he runs over to Ms Welch’s desk and says with a booming voice “O GOD MS WELCH, I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!! Please let me go!”
She looks at him with confusion
“Garrison, whats wrong with you? I have never seen you act like this. No you cant go..”
Still smiling and happy as can be with the whole classes attention on him Garrison says
“Well to bad because I am going to go anyway!” and starts walking towards the door.
As he makes it to the door he hesitates for a second and Ms Welch has a chance to say
“No! don’t you dare go out that door.”
Garrison: “I have to go to the bathroom!!! Do you want me to piss in the corner? My bladder is going to explode!”
Teacher: “Fine… Go. But you better be back here in 5 minutes.”
Garrison: “Okay, I’ll be back!” And bolts out the door like an arrow just lunched from a bow. He was gone.
Immediately, Ms Welch walked into her office and calls the main office to get a hold of his councilor and shuts the door. I really couldn’t hear what she was saying but I could tell it didn’t sound good for Garrison.
Before he came back Jess told Ms Welch to check his Coke bottle to see if there was any alcohol in it. In the end Jess smelled it and said no. but I knew there wasn’t anything in it. It was just another case of “get me away from this place that is freighting me” and I was glad he did!! Once he got back Ms Welch told him to go straight to the Main Office. That smile never faded off of his face. He turned to me and said “I’m out yall, I get to go home” I returned his smile and high fived him.
After all that excitement, I wrote on a paper “what would you think if I peed in the corner with him?” and gave it to Karli
I was surprised to see that she was very upset… Disturbed with the fact that Garrison “acted out of line” as she put it. God dam, these freaking robots have to power to program other people to have the same thinking pattern. I looked at everyone in that classroom and didn’t see a single happy face! I was the only one happy for Garrison to know that he was doing what he wanted!! He wanted to get away and he did! Prof that you can do what you want! As long as you know what will follow after, you will be fine with it!!
After school was over, I realized it was Thursday. Chess club meet!!! Lora is always happy to see me :)
I played 4 games of chess and won 3 of them.
I played 2 games with their best player and won one of the games. He was a strange person. But he was awesome! I can’t explain it for some reason. He was like one of those really smart people who you might think has a social problem but doesn’t. It just seemed like his mind worked in a different way then everyone else’s. Not once did I hear him laugh when I was in that room playing chess. And for some reason I could still tell when he was very happy. While we were going at it in a game of chess, he grabbed his cheeks and pulled them away from his cheeks to make the funniest noise I had heard that day!! As I am sitting there laughing incredibly hard. He just sat there looking at me with a straight face, cocked his head a little to one side like a dog does and says without a quiver in his voice “I really enjoy your laugh. It is not like other peoples laughs that are fake. You have a true laugh that makes me feel extremely happy inside, it makes me wana laugh with you”
Still laughed at what he did I say with a smile “Thank you, Very much, It really means a lot to hear that from you”. We are now friends and every time I see him in the hallways I always stop to shake his hand.
Today was much easier, in English we watched the movie Hercules the whole time. I actually slept in class. The first time ever! I should do it more often. Really didn’t talk to anyone during first period. Not many people were ecstatic about spring break, this surprised me. When I got board of watching the movie and sleeping I decided to write a note to Karli. Every day, she will write a note for her best friend. And she’ll color it and make it look cool. I really never had someone to write too, that I knew would read it. So I went ahead and wrote her a nice long note asking questions about her family and telling her a few things about me. It was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. Just to write a page to a friend!
Once the bell rang I sat there finishing it up. Everyone rushed out like usual. I was the only one who wished Mrs. Rayome a good spring break. Headed off to Algebra with a pit stop in the bathroom.
Someday I would love to just sit in the bathroom and see how many people actually talk to anyone in there. It is hilarious because no one will use a urinal if someone using the one next to it. I wish I could shove a steering wheel in my pants and just sit in there. And when someone gets enough nerve to ask me why I have a steering wheel in my pants I will say “Ahh, It drives me nuts!”
We sat in silence in class. We took some kind of test that was important (well it was important to someone). Everyone was freaking out about it. It went quick and easy for me. I am glad i don’t struggle in math at all.
Then I turned over my calculator
Wade: “Tell her I say hi back. Math is easy. I am the only cool person in my class, everyone else sucks. Where do you sit and where does Jessie sit?”
I drew a picture of the classroom. Today since I won’t get a reply until spring break is over I said “So how was your spring break? Do anything awesome?”
I wonder what he is going to tell me!
I am starting to pay attention to the tv in this classroom. It will tell me things about whats going on in the school. Like when clubs meet and when cool stuff is happening after school. I will be sure to watch it more. I turned to Morgan behind me and told her on a whim “I may not come back after this spring break”
She flipped out, “You cant just leave. Can you?”
“I go where my heart leads me. It lead me here and its almost time to leave”
This is truly how I feel about it.
I walked outside and around the school a way I have never gone before. I found someone who I had no idea they were. But they knew me before school and was asking me about my brothers and everything. She knew Jay, so I guess I should ask him if she knows her. She was very pretty.
Today in Outdoor ed, the sub was still there. We chilled in the hallways and a got one of the other freshmen to teach me how to fold paper in the throwing stars! That was badass! Probably that will be one of thoughs things I will remember about school for ever. I folded the note I wrote for Karli in that manner. Everyone went to the small gym to chill and shoot hoops. There was 3 other classes in there. And I got to hang out with Lora and her friend that is in tennis. Her name is Kally. I also think I am getting better with learning peoples names. I have this drive in me to be able to do handstands. So I practiced in the gym with some other kids I didn’t know. It was fun. I just believe it would be cool to be able to do handstand pushups! Heh, you gotta start somewhere. Once I was warn out from attempting. I sat down and ate my lunch. Had my apple and orange, then talked nutrition to other people asking me about why I never bring a sandwich or chips. Having a healthy body is just as important as having a healthy mind.
During lunch I stayed with one table, the table with Linda, Morgan, Lora, 2 of their friends, Eric and Clifford. They are turning out to be the table that wants me to stay the most. I enjoy their company, they just seem older than everyone else. Even tho they still act like little kids sometimes.
Over the past few days, I have been getting head aches right behind my eyes. At first I didn’t think much of it. But they just kept coming. So I started to pay more attention to them. I strongly believe that I get head aches from the iridescent lighting in school. I am use to the sun being the only thing that lights up my room and world. Now that it is replaced with fake lights, it hurts my head. I wonder how much that plays into the fact kids don’t like to get outside much because they dwell inside most of their lives. Maybe I’ll meditate on that one and see what I can come up with.
In Ag, Karli was excited that I wrote her a note. And I was excited that she was excited! I love when I make circles of happiness. She didn’t read it in class.
We watched 3 episodes of “Dirty Jobs” and I played on the computer with Shaila and Will. We played that game that is like snake and you cant run into any lines you create. You know that game they played in Tron, with the bikes? It was fun but I was being very loud and the teacher got upset at me. She has been very touchy since Garrison did that thing yesterday. I guess she is trying to make sure no one else gets any crazy ideas.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Marketing Presentation for Ag Class
Marketing
• Who will I target?
The plan is to target the turkeys, to do so we need the turkey callers to call them in.
• What will I be marketing?
I will be marketing turkey calls that look like phones. So I can “call” the turkeys in to kill.
• When will I market?
Since I will be targeting hunters, I will need to market when the hunting season is for that region.
• Where will I do most of my marketing?
I will do most of my marketing in hunting magazines across the nation. In the southern states, I will be marketing in hunting stores. I will also have 23 highly trained salesmen with mustaches that will advertize at gun clubs and gun shows. If you have ever had a scruffy looking wilderness guy with a mustache talk to you about anything in nature, you tend to agree with him a make logic out of the things he says.
• Why would people want this product?
People would want my product to inject humor into hunting. You see, my turkey calls look like cell phones. So to actually “call” in the turkeys will be fun and entertaining.
• What is the cost of the product and why?
Since my turkey calls are also miniature survival packs that carry matches, water purification tablets and have glow stick capabilities. They will cost only $65.99!!
Company
• What is your company’s name?
Since the owner of the company is Madisun, the name of the company is “Mad’s Turkey Callers”
• Where would your company be located?
My company will be located on the outskirts of a suburban area; next to the local gun club with intentions to obtain the most amount of marketing.
• What segment of industry will you be involved in?
The segment of witch my company will partake in will be strictly just the distributing of merchandise.
• How many employees will you have and why?
The employees that will work under me will consist of two receptionists, two book keepers, one maid to clean the bathroom, a team of four that will train salesmen, an average of 20 co-salesmen that will team up with my 23 highly trained (by me) salesmen when advertising to the public. First appearances are very important, so I will have one personal hair dresser, stylist and fashioner.
Commercial for TV
There will be a guy sneaking through the woods with camouflaged clothes on. Once he makes it to his spot next to a large red oak tree, he will start softy saying “Here turkey turki turki tuki tuki” raising in volume and speed. Soon he is yelling “HERE TURKEY”. All of a sudden, I jump out of the tree he was sitting next to, with a ridicules amount of camouflage on my body. “It will never work that way, silly goose” I say. With a saddened face the hunter looks toward the ground and starts to get angry. Then I say “Here buddy, don’t get mad, just next time make sure you have the new and improved Mad’s Turkey Call! It now comes with a built in survival kit!” I hand him a brand new one still in its box.
His face brightens up and with a quick “thanks” I fade back into the wilderness around me. He opens the box and pulls out the phone shaped turkey call.
“O this is awesome!” he says. Then he puts his new caller to his head and starts calling again.
Then my logo and contact information will flash onto the screen.
Feathers to Feet
Everything you need to know about birds
Magazine
Hi, my name is Madisun Holtzman and I am here to tell you about turkey callers. For the sake of adding a little humor to the act of killing animals, I have designed my turkey calls to have the appearance of cell phones. So you are actually “Calling” the turkeys in to kill. These turkey calls have also been designed to carry a small knife, matches, water purification tablets and all of the plastic has glowing capability for basic survival situations. It’s better to be safe then sorry, but with my new callers. You will not have to worry much about getting lost knowing that you will have the basic items needed to survive.
For the New and Improved Turkey Call, the price is $65.99
Call (972) 571-1080 for ordering information, billing or any other question you might have. We would be happy to hear from you!
• Who will I target?
The plan is to target the turkeys, to do so we need the turkey callers to call them in.
• What will I be marketing?
I will be marketing turkey calls that look like phones. So I can “call” the turkeys in to kill.
• When will I market?
Since I will be targeting hunters, I will need to market when the hunting season is for that region.
• Where will I do most of my marketing?
I will do most of my marketing in hunting magazines across the nation. In the southern states, I will be marketing in hunting stores. I will also have 23 highly trained salesmen with mustaches that will advertize at gun clubs and gun shows. If you have ever had a scruffy looking wilderness guy with a mustache talk to you about anything in nature, you tend to agree with him a make logic out of the things he says.
• Why would people want this product?
People would want my product to inject humor into hunting. You see, my turkey calls look like cell phones. So to actually “call” in the turkeys will be fun and entertaining.
• What is the cost of the product and why?
Since my turkey calls are also miniature survival packs that carry matches, water purification tablets and have glow stick capabilities. They will cost only $65.99!!
Company
• What is your company’s name?
Since the owner of the company is Madisun, the name of the company is “Mad’s Turkey Callers”
• Where would your company be located?
My company will be located on the outskirts of a suburban area; next to the local gun club with intentions to obtain the most amount of marketing.
• What segment of industry will you be involved in?
The segment of witch my company will partake in will be strictly just the distributing of merchandise.
• How many employees will you have and why?
The employees that will work under me will consist of two receptionists, two book keepers, one maid to clean the bathroom, a team of four that will train salesmen, an average of 20 co-salesmen that will team up with my 23 highly trained (by me) salesmen when advertising to the public. First appearances are very important, so I will have one personal hair dresser, stylist and fashioner.
Commercial for TV
There will be a guy sneaking through the woods with camouflaged clothes on. Once he makes it to his spot next to a large red oak tree, he will start softy saying “Here turkey turki turki tuki tuki” raising in volume and speed. Soon he is yelling “HERE TURKEY”. All of a sudden, I jump out of the tree he was sitting next to, with a ridicules amount of camouflage on my body. “It will never work that way, silly goose” I say. With a saddened face the hunter looks toward the ground and starts to get angry. Then I say “Here buddy, don’t get mad, just next time make sure you have the new and improved Mad’s Turkey Call! It now comes with a built in survival kit!” I hand him a brand new one still in its box.
His face brightens up and with a quick “thanks” I fade back into the wilderness around me. He opens the box and pulls out the phone shaped turkey call.
“O this is awesome!” he says. Then he puts his new caller to his head and starts calling again.
Then my logo and contact information will flash onto the screen.
Feathers to Feet
Everything you need to know about birds
Magazine
Hi, my name is Madisun Holtzman and I am here to tell you about turkey callers. For the sake of adding a little humor to the act of killing animals, I have designed my turkey calls to have the appearance of cell phones. So you are actually “Calling” the turkeys in to kill. These turkey calls have also been designed to carry a small knife, matches, water purification tablets and all of the plastic has glowing capability for basic survival situations. It’s better to be safe then sorry, but with my new callers. You will not have to worry much about getting lost knowing that you will have the basic items needed to survive.
For the New and Improved Turkey Call, the price is $65.99
Call (972) 571-1080 for ordering information, billing or any other question you might have. We would be happy to hear from you!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Monday, March 9th
Yesterday was the time change, Day light savings time is killer in the spring.
But it was nice waking up and it was still dark.
Over the past few days i have had a lot of homework. And i actually did it. Working on 3 different power points not knowing how was a great experience.
Last Friday, i presented a power point in outdoor ed on the redear sunfish. I was the only person that knew how to speak, present and teach people anything. What are these kids learning in school? No people skills at all? Most everyone there always has someone to say something bad about. Are their minds always full of bad thoughts and sex? Why haven't i had a deep conversation with anyone there yet?
People will say in a heart beat that you are their friend. but outside of the cafeteria, classroom, hallways, you never hear from them. All everyone is drawn too, is the feeling that they are important and you are willing to listen to their story with interest.
Today was great as always. i was in English class by 8:20 because i am still taking makeup tests. I have learned that if you make the teacher happy, its a lot easier to bring in homework two days later. I practically sleep through class, i am so tired. Maybe that is the reason why i struggle so much.
We have started reading the Odyssey and studying Greek mythology. It is very interesting. Things always seem easier to pay attention when they catch your eye.
while i was sitting there in English, I get a note from the main office.
"Where is you registration? it was due February 9th, today is March 9th. I'M WAITING. Mrs. Braswell. Mr Shafferman will begin assigning Wednesday night and/or a saturday school to all stuents who do not return their registrations by 4:00pm today."
What the hell... Seriously.. I was going to get punished for not doing anything?!? Kids lives are lived off of fear.. Fear of getting punished. and in school, you can get punished for anything they want you to do/not do. How do you train a dog? To be the best dog a dog can be? Do you train a dog out of negativeness? To be afraid of you? No, you don't. If you start teaching your child to be afraid, he will be afraid of you. when you are scared of someone, you want to get away from them.
where is the positive reinforcement?
In algebra, there was a pop quiz. It was very easy.
When i finished the quiz i got up and asked if i could go take care of my registration. After i got the okay and a teachers note saying i can leave, i headed down to the front office. i needed to get a teacher approval to take wrestling and theater tech. i only found Mr. Woodstock (haha! he is the theater tech teacher) but i didn't find the wrestling coach. i just wandered around the school for the rest of the time. It is really cool to just walk around and look in all of the little windows in the doors of the classrooms. I felt a little freedom but once the bell rang and the halls flooded with people, i headed off to outdoor ed. others were still finishing up presenting their fish power points. Board, i sat there in the dimly lit room on the verge of sleep. Once everyone finished, we were to meet up with another class that the teacher was out sick today. basically we went out side and walked the track (i walked it bare footed) and played wall ball. I didn't even see Coach Odle. I started thinking how awesome it would be to be able to do handstand pushups.. Then i started thinking. "well, i cant even do a handstand."
"You gotta start somewhere!"
So i went out into the empty soccer field and stood there with my hands in the air
I stood for a long time. thinking about if it would hurt to fall over.
"I cant do something if i am afraid of it.. thats just not possible.."
So i made up my mind to fall a few times to get the feel of it so i wont be scared anymore. I guess it looked kind of funny because a few kids came over to watch me fall on my back some more. i must of fallen on purpose 15ish times. i am getting much better now! I can stand on my hands for about 4 seconds now!!
Heh, things i learn in school.
But i do know that i will probably use this new skill more than other things i am/will learn in school! :)
Elliot and Caitie said that they would be coming to visit me during lunch! I was excited, I walked to the lunch room early and put some chairs aside at the crazy table to give them the full experience of what my day is like. The lunchroom fills up as i am scanning through everyone looking for them.
I check my phone and i had a message from Elliot saying "They wont let us in can you eat out front"
There is guards guarding the main exits from the cafeteria.
Confidently i walk straight passed one of them. He Just watched me pass by him without a word. Ninja-ing my way past people by heading into bathrooms and random hallways i make it to the front. and they were waiting for me. I didn't want to eat right in the front encase someone saw us and said something. so we went and sat in the grass. god, that chicken sandwich was amazing. I was very thankful they brought it to me. One of the teacher people that knows me walks up.
"Hello, well i know you are one of our students here but i don't know about you two.."
Looking him straight in the eyes with a smile "Your right sir, this is my brother and he wanted to come visit me for lunch, i have D lunch. In the main office they told him that only my parents could come visit me and he wanted to see me."
"Well, it is a nice day for a picnic so i wont say anything, but you really need a visitors pass if your going to do this again."
"Thank you very much" I said with a smile.
Once he was gone, I asked Elliot and Caitie if they wanted to see the school. Heh, i snuck them in, in the side door by the gyms and walked around. Showed them where i sit in the hallways during 3rd period. Then we walked to the Cafeteria. I introduced them to a few people i knew and a few i didn't. It seemed like the APs and teachers were closing in on us. Everywhere we turned someone was there. We kept moving untill the bell rang. Once they were gone, people asked me if he was my dad or something! hahaha!! it was great.
In Ag, we had a Sub. She was this nice lady with a heavy Yugoslavian accent. I told her all about my adventures with school. It is easy for me to get along with adults.
Karli is the same everyday. her mood never seems to change from her normal self centered self. But she is my friend just the same. A school friend who i never talk to or see outside of school. We went to the computer lab to finish up our presentations on marketing. Mine is really awesome, i actually had fun making it.
Once the bell rang at 4:05 i went to go meet up with Allesandra. We had plans drive up north to my mama's house. and so we did. It was nice to see her again. she is not like other school people, she will listen to stories i tell with interest. Unlike others.
But it was nice waking up and it was still dark.
Over the past few days i have had a lot of homework. And i actually did it. Working on 3 different power points not knowing how was a great experience.
Last Friday, i presented a power point in outdoor ed on the redear sunfish. I was the only person that knew how to speak, present and teach people anything. What are these kids learning in school? No people skills at all? Most everyone there always has someone to say something bad about. Are their minds always full of bad thoughts and sex? Why haven't i had a deep conversation with anyone there yet?
People will say in a heart beat that you are their friend. but outside of the cafeteria, classroom, hallways, you never hear from them. All everyone is drawn too, is the feeling that they are important and you are willing to listen to their story with interest.
Today was great as always. i was in English class by 8:20 because i am still taking makeup tests. I have learned that if you make the teacher happy, its a lot easier to bring in homework two days later. I practically sleep through class, i am so tired. Maybe that is the reason why i struggle so much.
We have started reading the Odyssey and studying Greek mythology. It is very interesting. Things always seem easier to pay attention when they catch your eye.
while i was sitting there in English, I get a note from the main office.
"Where is you registration? it was due February 9th, today is March 9th. I'M WAITING. Mrs. Braswell. Mr Shafferman will begin assigning Wednesday night and/or a saturday school to all stuents who do not return their registrations by 4:00pm today."
What the hell... Seriously.. I was going to get punished for not doing anything?!? Kids lives are lived off of fear.. Fear of getting punished. and in school, you can get punished for anything they want you to do/not do. How do you train a dog? To be the best dog a dog can be? Do you train a dog out of negativeness? To be afraid of you? No, you don't. If you start teaching your child to be afraid, he will be afraid of you. when you are scared of someone, you want to get away from them.
where is the positive reinforcement?
In algebra, there was a pop quiz. It was very easy.
When i finished the quiz i got up and asked if i could go take care of my registration. After i got the okay and a teachers note saying i can leave, i headed down to the front office. i needed to get a teacher approval to take wrestling and theater tech. i only found Mr. Woodstock (haha! he is the theater tech teacher) but i didn't find the wrestling coach. i just wandered around the school for the rest of the time. It is really cool to just walk around and look in all of the little windows in the doors of the classrooms. I felt a little freedom but once the bell rang and the halls flooded with people, i headed off to outdoor ed. others were still finishing up presenting their fish power points. Board, i sat there in the dimly lit room on the verge of sleep. Once everyone finished, we were to meet up with another class that the teacher was out sick today. basically we went out side and walked the track (i walked it bare footed) and played wall ball. I didn't even see Coach Odle. I started thinking how awesome it would be to be able to do handstand pushups.. Then i started thinking. "well, i cant even do a handstand."
"You gotta start somewhere!"
So i went out into the empty soccer field and stood there with my hands in the air
I stood for a long time. thinking about if it would hurt to fall over.
"I cant do something if i am afraid of it.. thats just not possible.."
So i made up my mind to fall a few times to get the feel of it so i wont be scared anymore. I guess it looked kind of funny because a few kids came over to watch me fall on my back some more. i must of fallen on purpose 15ish times. i am getting much better now! I can stand on my hands for about 4 seconds now!!
Heh, things i learn in school.
But i do know that i will probably use this new skill more than other things i am/will learn in school! :)
Elliot and Caitie said that they would be coming to visit me during lunch! I was excited, I walked to the lunch room early and put some chairs aside at the crazy table to give them the full experience of what my day is like. The lunchroom fills up as i am scanning through everyone looking for them.
I check my phone and i had a message from Elliot saying "They wont let us in can you eat out front"
There is guards guarding the main exits from the cafeteria.
Confidently i walk straight passed one of them. He Just watched me pass by him without a word. Ninja-ing my way past people by heading into bathrooms and random hallways i make it to the front. and they were waiting for me. I didn't want to eat right in the front encase someone saw us and said something. so we went and sat in the grass. god, that chicken sandwich was amazing. I was very thankful they brought it to me. One of the teacher people that knows me walks up.
"Hello, well i know you are one of our students here but i don't know about you two.."
Looking him straight in the eyes with a smile "Your right sir, this is my brother and he wanted to come visit me for lunch, i have D lunch. In the main office they told him that only my parents could come visit me and he wanted to see me."
"Well, it is a nice day for a picnic so i wont say anything, but you really need a visitors pass if your going to do this again."
"Thank you very much" I said with a smile.
Once he was gone, I asked Elliot and Caitie if they wanted to see the school. Heh, i snuck them in, in the side door by the gyms and walked around. Showed them where i sit in the hallways during 3rd period. Then we walked to the Cafeteria. I introduced them to a few people i knew and a few i didn't. It seemed like the APs and teachers were closing in on us. Everywhere we turned someone was there. We kept moving untill the bell rang. Once they were gone, people asked me if he was my dad or something! hahaha!! it was great.
In Ag, we had a Sub. She was this nice lady with a heavy Yugoslavian accent. I told her all about my adventures with school. It is easy for me to get along with adults.
Karli is the same everyday. her mood never seems to change from her normal self centered self. But she is my friend just the same. A school friend who i never talk to or see outside of school. We went to the computer lab to finish up our presentations on marketing. Mine is really awesome, i actually had fun making it.
Once the bell rang at 4:05 i went to go meet up with Allesandra. We had plans drive up north to my mama's house. and so we did. It was nice to see her again. she is not like other school people, she will listen to stories i tell with interest. Unlike others.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Taks testing
Today was one of thos days, one of thos days were everything seems to go good.
I woke up 5 minutes before my alarm went off and that never happens. I just laid there watching time tick slowly by. In and out of the shower by 7:40 and was walking through the hallways of Marcus high by 8:15
The day before, was as normal as normal days get for me. We were told to go to the room that we were assigned to by last name. I was in room B213, upstairs by the computer lab. I walked there first just so i knew where it was, than went looking for someone, anyone i knew. I wasn't very successful. I did get a few hugs from people i kinda sorta knew, but that was it.
Inside B213 i found my name on a desk sat there and waited for it to begin. It was crazy, strict as hell. There was to be no talking, eating, drink, sleeping or putting your head down, no bathroom breaks unless you had a pass and teacher escort, and one i found out on my own, no making any types of sounds with your mouth.
I was in that classroom from 8:45 too 12:30.
Sitting there working on that English Reading packet was quite easy, although i was one of the last people to finish it. You just had to read 2 passages and answer questions about the stories.
During the first 30 minutes of the test, i started light whistling under my breath. After the teacher tried to find out who it was by spinning around, she finally said "who ever that is, stop. If i find out who it is they will get a zero."
I stopped.
This one guy coughed right before i coughed, so i coughed again. We coughed back and forth seven or eight times. The teacher looked at me with hatred.
Once i finished taking the test we sat in silence for what seemed hours.
The best time i had in during the taks test was when i got to go to the bathroom.
when everyone was finished we were aloud to talk and move around.
I met everyone that was around me. This one girl got really angry at me.
"O my god, your a seventeen year old freshman and your acting like that?! grow up..'
"Now thats one thing i never want to do!" I said with a smile
with a very sour face she says "I feel sorry for you..."
And i said very loudly with a big smile "Nope! i feel sorry for YOU!" turned around and started talking to someone else.
It was nice meeting new people again. people who had no choice but to stay in one place, until a set time.
So after the TAKS, i was suppose to go back to 2ed period. I didn't get that memo.
It was past 12, and thats when the bell rings. But since it was TAKS day, so no bells. No one was in the outdoor ed hallway. So i ran back to second period algebra, i ended up late. The teacher didn't care, i was only there long enough for her to give everyone home work.
So i walked back to outdoor ed.
We headed straight outside to walk to sonic! only the people who have finished taking there hunter ed test and passing.
It was about a five minute walk down the street.
I learned how much meat a class of 20 can eat. It was kind of disgusting..
While i was sitting there talking with everyone else. A construction truck pulls up to order. Then i hear someone calling my name!
It turns out that one of my brothers friends was there for happy hour. I was there telling him about my school life.
I get back to the other people, and everyone was like "whos that?! how do you know soo many people?"
"aren't you like extremely poplar with everyone?"
"not really, i dont remember names very well."
"But someone said that a bunch of girls have asked you out already"
"Who told you this?"
"I heard some girls talking about you, why aren't you dating anyone?"
A few heads turn
"Well, if they were cute, i would have gone out with them. I'm not just looking for someone to suck face with."
"O, that makes sense"
Some how we started talking about first impressions.
Me: "So, what was your first impression of me?"
Gunner: "Well, dont be mad, but at first everyone thought you were gay.."
Me: "But why? Why would you jump to that conclusion?"
Gunner: "you were just so... Out there.. different"
Everyone agreed. but they said that once they got to know me more, they knew i wasn't. It worried me to think that maybe everyone i meet has that thought. Just because i am who i am. "out there".
Forth period only lasted an hour because of the TAKS. All we did was watch Dirty Jobs. It was fun, I sat there talking to Karli the whole time. Bell rang and i was off.
I woke up 5 minutes before my alarm went off and that never happens. I just laid there watching time tick slowly by. In and out of the shower by 7:40 and was walking through the hallways of Marcus high by 8:15
The day before, was as normal as normal days get for me. We were told to go to the room that we were assigned to by last name. I was in room B213, upstairs by the computer lab. I walked there first just so i knew where it was, than went looking for someone, anyone i knew. I wasn't very successful. I did get a few hugs from people i kinda sorta knew, but that was it.
Inside B213 i found my name on a desk sat there and waited for it to begin. It was crazy, strict as hell. There was to be no talking, eating, drink, sleeping or putting your head down, no bathroom breaks unless you had a pass and teacher escort, and one i found out on my own, no making any types of sounds with your mouth.
I was in that classroom from 8:45 too 12:30.
Sitting there working on that English Reading packet was quite easy, although i was one of the last people to finish it. You just had to read 2 passages and answer questions about the stories.
During the first 30 minutes of the test, i started light whistling under my breath. After the teacher tried to find out who it was by spinning around, she finally said "who ever that is, stop. If i find out who it is they will get a zero."
I stopped.
This one guy coughed right before i coughed, so i coughed again. We coughed back and forth seven or eight times. The teacher looked at me with hatred.
Once i finished taking the test we sat in silence for what seemed hours.
The best time i had in during the taks test was when i got to go to the bathroom.
when everyone was finished we were aloud to talk and move around.
I met everyone that was around me. This one girl got really angry at me.
"O my god, your a seventeen year old freshman and your acting like that?! grow up..'
"Now thats one thing i never want to do!" I said with a smile
with a very sour face she says "I feel sorry for you..."
And i said very loudly with a big smile "Nope! i feel sorry for YOU!" turned around and started talking to someone else.
It was nice meeting new people again. people who had no choice but to stay in one place, until a set time.
So after the TAKS, i was suppose to go back to 2ed period. I didn't get that memo.
It was past 12, and thats when the bell rings. But since it was TAKS day, so no bells. No one was in the outdoor ed hallway. So i ran back to second period algebra, i ended up late. The teacher didn't care, i was only there long enough for her to give everyone home work.
So i walked back to outdoor ed.
We headed straight outside to walk to sonic! only the people who have finished taking there hunter ed test and passing.
It was about a five minute walk down the street.
I learned how much meat a class of 20 can eat. It was kind of disgusting..
While i was sitting there talking with everyone else. A construction truck pulls up to order. Then i hear someone calling my name!
It turns out that one of my brothers friends was there for happy hour. I was there telling him about my school life.
I get back to the other people, and everyone was like "whos that?! how do you know soo many people?"
"aren't you like extremely poplar with everyone?"
"not really, i dont remember names very well."
"But someone said that a bunch of girls have asked you out already"
"Who told you this?"
"I heard some girls talking about you, why aren't you dating anyone?"
A few heads turn
"Well, if they were cute, i would have gone out with them. I'm not just looking for someone to suck face with."
"O, that makes sense"
Some how we started talking about first impressions.
Me: "So, what was your first impression of me?"
Gunner: "Well, dont be mad, but at first everyone thought you were gay.."
Me: "But why? Why would you jump to that conclusion?"
Gunner: "you were just so... Out there.. different"
Everyone agreed. but they said that once they got to know me more, they knew i wasn't. It worried me to think that maybe everyone i meet has that thought. Just because i am who i am. "out there".
Forth period only lasted an hour because of the TAKS. All we did was watch Dirty Jobs. It was fun, I sat there talking to Karli the whole time. Bell rang and i was off.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
back to school
When my alarm woke me up, I would have loved to have just slept hours past the time i had to get to school. But I made it there just the same…
I felt trapped, confined, bound to this place that is starting to suck me in. were everyone doesn’t know it but they are even restricted in there thoughts. I just wanted to run outside and be free!
Today was not a good day for me. It took me most of the day to figure out that I want to be here, that I am free to do as I please (with consequences). Math did not make my day any better. After being gone for another week, and still not doing any make-up homework, I had no idea what was going on in class. Nobody around me was willing to help ether; they were having a hard time also. Still on the sick side, I sat there drinking all of my water waiting for class to be over. When it did end, I asked Mrs. Tumelty if I could come tomorrow morning so she can help me with what I missed. She agreed.
Once the bell rings, everyone rushes out of the classroom and into the river. So since I stopped to talk to the teacher, everyone was already long gone. I walked alone to 3rd period.
In outdoor ed, I have made more friends than any other class I have. But these friends, they’re not like my homeschool friends. They aren’t close, and I still feel distant from them when they are right in front of me. All of the friends I have made are like this. When I am home I feel like I have lost contact with my homeschooled friends and now these new friends I have are fake. Its not a good feeling.
In class, we went outside to shoot archery. Well at Camp Tonkawa, I teach archery to kids of all ages. Seeing an actual teacher teach archery and suck at it made me feel awesome about my ability talk to people and teach them what I need to.
We headed back inside right before the lunch bell rang.
My dad and one of my old friends named Michael Ball came to bring me lunch. I sat at an empty table with them. I didn’t feel like introducing them to everyone I knew but it was nice to see them see things the way I did. They freaked just like I do when everyone gets up 10 minutes before the bell just like I did.
I said my goodbyes to Michael and my dad then before the bell rang and headed on outside to the Ag barn. I made it there before the lunch bell rang without even thinking about it. Mrs. Welch actually got mad at me. Said that I was to stay in the lunch room until I was suppose to leave. This made me very angry for some reason. Why “must” I stay there? Is that too much free thinking for there liking?
For that hour and forty-five minutes we spent it doing book work over everything we were learning about animals. I hate working out of that book.
Karli was extremely upset. She didn’t even say one thing in class, very unlike her. I did everything I could just to see her smile. And I got one!
When I see someone I know sad, I am driven to make that person laugh or smile. It always makes me feel wonderful.
Right when class was over, I headed were someone I know said that chess club meets there. There was only 3 kids and a teacher there. But at least there was a chess board set up! Lora was there, she is the girl from Germany that plays tennis. I sat, talked and play chess with them for about an hour. Tonto (Austin that lives down the street) came to talk to people in the chess club and I hitched a ride home with him. He hung out with me and helped me understand my math! So now I am up to date with all that… thank god.
I felt trapped, confined, bound to this place that is starting to suck me in. were everyone doesn’t know it but they are even restricted in there thoughts. I just wanted to run outside and be free!
Today was not a good day for me. It took me most of the day to figure out that I want to be here, that I am free to do as I please (with consequences). Math did not make my day any better. After being gone for another week, and still not doing any make-up homework, I had no idea what was going on in class. Nobody around me was willing to help ether; they were having a hard time also. Still on the sick side, I sat there drinking all of my water waiting for class to be over. When it did end, I asked Mrs. Tumelty if I could come tomorrow morning so she can help me with what I missed. She agreed.
Once the bell rings, everyone rushes out of the classroom and into the river. So since I stopped to talk to the teacher, everyone was already long gone. I walked alone to 3rd period.
In outdoor ed, I have made more friends than any other class I have. But these friends, they’re not like my homeschool friends. They aren’t close, and I still feel distant from them when they are right in front of me. All of the friends I have made are like this. When I am home I feel like I have lost contact with my homeschooled friends and now these new friends I have are fake. Its not a good feeling.
In class, we went outside to shoot archery. Well at Camp Tonkawa, I teach archery to kids of all ages. Seeing an actual teacher teach archery and suck at it made me feel awesome about my ability talk to people and teach them what I need to.
We headed back inside right before the lunch bell rang.
My dad and one of my old friends named Michael Ball came to bring me lunch. I sat at an empty table with them. I didn’t feel like introducing them to everyone I knew but it was nice to see them see things the way I did. They freaked just like I do when everyone gets up 10 minutes before the bell just like I did.
I said my goodbyes to Michael and my dad then before the bell rang and headed on outside to the Ag barn. I made it there before the lunch bell rang without even thinking about it. Mrs. Welch actually got mad at me. Said that I was to stay in the lunch room until I was suppose to leave. This made me very angry for some reason. Why “must” I stay there? Is that too much free thinking for there liking?
For that hour and forty-five minutes we spent it doing book work over everything we were learning about animals. I hate working out of that book.
Karli was extremely upset. She didn’t even say one thing in class, very unlike her. I did everything I could just to see her smile. And I got one!
When I see someone I know sad, I am driven to make that person laugh or smile. It always makes me feel wonderful.
Right when class was over, I headed were someone I know said that chess club meets there. There was only 3 kids and a teacher there. But at least there was a chess board set up! Lora was there, she is the girl from Germany that plays tennis. I sat, talked and play chess with them for about an hour. Tonto (Austin that lives down the street) came to talk to people in the chess club and I hitched a ride home with him. He hung out with me and helped me understand my math! So now I am up to date with all that… thank god.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
I have been away from school for being sick for a full week now. Its Wednesday and i feel a lot better than before. It has been a very unpleasant week.
I didn't hear from my school friends much, that was kind of disappointing. I really could have gone for some "get well soon's!!" from anyone.
For the past week i have been thinking about my life. About what i am doing, what i want to do in the long run and how i am going about doing that. Right now, if i were to go to collage. I would want to major in sociology and minor in music. There is no way i would want to spend 4 years at highschool to get a highschool diploma. I am only here for the social experience. Along the way, i am learning a little here and there about Math or English. I am still planning on getting my GED and going from there, so why am i starting to feel stressed out from school? Is it because i have been gone for 2 weeks now? (1 week for the cruise, 1 being sick) Jay and Black Steve say that i am going to be in loss of credit. and i dont even know what that is but i am afraid of it..
The people at school really only care about themselves, they dont care that i am a 17 year old freshman. whatever is in there set life at school is considered "normal" to them. To me, nothing is normal or ordinary and everything/everyone has characteristics that i would love to understand. But to try to find out more about someone is practically imposable when they say they are just average, normal, ordinary, boring, or any other descriptive words that are along thos lines.
These people who are in school, they have already excepted a long time ago, that they are unhappy with school. To change that is something i can not do. I wish i could but the only thing i can do is what i am doing. being happy. having fun. and sharing my happiness with others that need it. My happiness is starting to wear thin, cause it hardly gets returned.
In there heads, they have made school out to be a swamp or a place that is unpleasant and there okay with that because everyone else is in the swamp too.
I never knew how different i was from school-goers until now.
I didn't hear from my school friends much, that was kind of disappointing. I really could have gone for some "get well soon's!!" from anyone.
For the past week i have been thinking about my life. About what i am doing, what i want to do in the long run and how i am going about doing that. Right now, if i were to go to collage. I would want to major in sociology and minor in music. There is no way i would want to spend 4 years at highschool to get a highschool diploma. I am only here for the social experience. Along the way, i am learning a little here and there about Math or English. I am still planning on getting my GED and going from there, so why am i starting to feel stressed out from school? Is it because i have been gone for 2 weeks now? (1 week for the cruise, 1 being sick) Jay and Black Steve say that i am going to be in loss of credit. and i dont even know what that is but i am afraid of it..
The people at school really only care about themselves, they dont care that i am a 17 year old freshman. whatever is in there set life at school is considered "normal" to them. To me, nothing is normal or ordinary and everything/everyone has characteristics that i would love to understand. But to try to find out more about someone is practically imposable when they say they are just average, normal, ordinary, boring, or any other descriptive words that are along thos lines.
These people who are in school, they have already excepted a long time ago, that they are unhappy with school. To change that is something i can not do. I wish i could but the only thing i can do is what i am doing. being happy. having fun. and sharing my happiness with others that need it. My happiness is starting to wear thin, cause it hardly gets returned.
In there heads, they have made school out to be a swamp or a place that is unpleasant and there okay with that because everyone else is in the swamp too.
I never knew how different i was from school-goers until now.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Poem
Wednesday up to today
My health isn't ok
Was lying the best way?
Just to say away?
Even though i was sick
Eager for school i was
Evils inside of me
Evolved more and more
Awoken with a fever
When i stand i am weak
Everything seemed darker
I could hardly speak
My throat is extremely raw
I couldn't even say huzzah
Is this karma catching up to me?
because i really have to pee.. Again
I believe karma only effects people
So who did i effect by not going?
The people who didn't giggle?
I doubt i am that charming
The nurse had to dismiss me
and i hope my friends will miss me
Now i'm home making cups of tea
feeling like a Furry funky grumpy groggy chunky chimpanzee (they fling poop)
I just ate a bowl of soup
now i feel like i am going to puke
I feel like i've been nuked
soon i will have to poop
My health isn't ok
Was lying the best way?
Just to say away?
Even though i was sick
Eager for school i was
Evils inside of me
Evolved more and more
Awoken with a fever
When i stand i am weak
Everything seemed darker
I could hardly speak
My throat is extremely raw
I couldn't even say huzzah
Is this karma catching up to me?
because i really have to pee.. Again
I believe karma only effects people
So who did i effect by not going?
The people who didn't giggle?
I doubt i am that charming
The nurse had to dismiss me
and i hope my friends will miss me
Now i'm home making cups of tea
feeling like a Furry funky grumpy groggy chunky chimpanzee (they fling poop)
I just ate a bowl of soup
now i feel like i am going to puke
I feel like i've been nuked
soon i will have to poop
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Explosive diarrhea
Today is my brother's birthday.
Elliot is going to be 23! and thats a really good number that equals 5
I would love to spend his birthday with him, but school calls!! or not.
I formed a plan. I woke up at 7:30 with the morning light flooding into my room. Blasting an up beat song to actually wake me up, then Nova (my dog) jumps on my bed wagging his tail licking my face and saying in his own way "Yay! its time for Madisun to wake up"
No shower today. Lazy? Nope. I just have a plan and need a little more convincing to make it run smoothly.
I left for school at 8:10 and made sure i had dirty cloths on.
I walk in to class with droopy eyes as if i i had to sneeze consistently, half steps is if my feet were made of rock, and messy, greasy hair like i didn't sleep last night.
Mrs. Rayome was talking to the teacher next door then sees me and says "Oh, Madisun. You don't look so good, is something a matter?"
"Good morning Mrs. Rayome. Yeah, i am not feeling too well today."
"And you came to school anyway?"
The other teacher that she was talking to says "Aw, Madisun helped me out a great deal the other day with the projector overhead. Its a shame your not feeling well."
"After the second time i threw up, i had a feeling that it would pass. And i still think that it is going away."
"Well, here" as she clears the nearest desk to the door "You sit here today and if you ever need to go to the bathroom, just go. You don't need to use a pass."
"Thank you very much" I said coughing heavily as i sat down.
I didn't get called upon once in class to do anything, say answers, read paragraphs, nothing. I even raised my hand to answer questions.
At 9:21 (yeah i was watching the time) I swiftly headed out the door. I saw Rayome look at me but i didn't stop. I chilled in the bathroom for about 5-7 minutes. Then headed back to class. Standing outside the door listening inside, waiting for the right moment to enter. I held my breath for as long as i could, stumbling inside with my hand on the wall and my face red from holding my breath. Rayome hands me a pass to the nurse's office "get better madisun."
Stage one complete! I couldn't go to the nurse unless i had a note from the teacher.
Still in "Sick" mode. I skipped down the empty hallways. I put my game face back on and walked into the office.
Dragging my feet, i make it to the desk and hand her the paper Rayome gave me without saying anything.
"Could you please sign-in right over there then take a seat?"
"Yes Mama.."
Scribbled my name and the time down then slumped down into a chair.
"So, it says here that your having stomach issues. Can you be more specific?"
"This morning after i woke up, i threw up once at 7, then again at 8 and after that i thought i felt better, so i would try and go to school anyway. I also have fiery diarrhea every 10-20 minutes. I believe i caught this from my brother who had the same thing just the other day. I really can not deal with this at school and need to go home to sleep it out."
What i really wanted to say was "I have been throwing up since i woke up and i have explosive diarrhea and when i poo it feels like a am shitting out a road flare. I am afraid my toilet paper is going to ketch on fire!" But if i said that, i believe they would have thought it a joke.
"Well, we do need to confirm and get the 'okay' from your father before i can let you go"
"Please call him on our phone"
"Dad, i just threw up again."
"Everything is fubar?"
"Yeah, here's the nurse"
"Okay, here you go Madisun. Take this to the attendance office to get signed, then you can head home."
"Thank you very much, but where is the nearest bathroom?"
Stage 2 complete!
Once in the attendance office i see Kayla (White Steve's girlfriend) behind the desk. If your a senior you can take that as a class for accounting or something.
she didn't see me come inside, so i snuck up on her like a sick ninja! I scared the bajeebers out of her!
So while i was waiting for my attendance lady, i hear another attendance person on the phone, with someone. She hangs up and says "Theres another one!!" and everyone starts laughing and they put another tally on a white board that the count was at 13. Curiously i ask what it was. "O that, that is for how many fake phone calls we have gotten today from people pretending that they are parents trying to get there 'kids' out of school."
If i wasn't "sick" i would have laughed and made jokes about that with them. But that would be un-appropriate for what i was there for.
She signed it without a word and told me to get better soon.
On my way out Kayla says
"Hey wait! Madisun!"
"Hmm? whats up?"
"So last night, me and Steve broke up"
"That sucks.. I'm sorry"
"Its okay, we are still friends though"
"Thats good, the last girl i dated did ecstasy and made-out with another dude in the same weekend. So i broke up with her and now she hates me because i didn't try hard enough to stay friends with her or something.. We were friends before, but i haven't talked to her since..."
Kayla went off on this rant about how girls can be so stupid sometimes.
Kayla says with a smile "Well, I'm single now"
I said "Awesome"
turned around and left.
Shes cute and i wouldn't mind dating her, but i will not go chasing her. Since she made the first move, then yea, i will hang out with her more. But we'll see what happens then. What ever happens, happens. I'm just here for the ride.
Back out in the parking lot, all the gates are closed. the only way out is past a security guard that you must have a paper stating why you are leaving signed by 3 different people.
I was home by 10:35. Showered and Elliot said that he just woke up. Perfect timing!
Elliot is going to be 23! and thats a really good number that equals 5
I would love to spend his birthday with him, but school calls!! or not.
I formed a plan. I woke up at 7:30 with the morning light flooding into my room. Blasting an up beat song to actually wake me up, then Nova (my dog) jumps on my bed wagging his tail licking my face and saying in his own way "Yay! its time for Madisun to wake up"
No shower today. Lazy? Nope. I just have a plan and need a little more convincing to make it run smoothly.
I left for school at 8:10 and made sure i had dirty cloths on.
I walk in to class with droopy eyes as if i i had to sneeze consistently, half steps is if my feet were made of rock, and messy, greasy hair like i didn't sleep last night.
Mrs. Rayome was talking to the teacher next door then sees me and says "Oh, Madisun. You don't look so good, is something a matter?"
"Good morning Mrs. Rayome. Yeah, i am not feeling too well today."
"And you came to school anyway?"
The other teacher that she was talking to says "Aw, Madisun helped me out a great deal the other day with the projector overhead. Its a shame your not feeling well."
"After the second time i threw up, i had a feeling that it would pass. And i still think that it is going away."
"Well, here" as she clears the nearest desk to the door "You sit here today and if you ever need to go to the bathroom, just go. You don't need to use a pass."
"Thank you very much" I said coughing heavily as i sat down.
I didn't get called upon once in class to do anything, say answers, read paragraphs, nothing. I even raised my hand to answer questions.
At 9:21 (yeah i was watching the time) I swiftly headed out the door. I saw Rayome look at me but i didn't stop. I chilled in the bathroom for about 5-7 minutes. Then headed back to class. Standing outside the door listening inside, waiting for the right moment to enter. I held my breath for as long as i could, stumbling inside with my hand on the wall and my face red from holding my breath. Rayome hands me a pass to the nurse's office "get better madisun."
Stage one complete! I couldn't go to the nurse unless i had a note from the teacher.
Still in "Sick" mode. I skipped down the empty hallways. I put my game face back on and walked into the office.
Dragging my feet, i make it to the desk and hand her the paper Rayome gave me without saying anything.
"Could you please sign-in right over there then take a seat?"
"Yes Mama.."
Scribbled my name and the time down then slumped down into a chair.
"So, it says here that your having stomach issues. Can you be more specific?"
"This morning after i woke up, i threw up once at 7, then again at 8 and after that i thought i felt better, so i would try and go to school anyway. I also have fiery diarrhea every 10-20 minutes. I believe i caught this from my brother who had the same thing just the other day. I really can not deal with this at school and need to go home to sleep it out."
What i really wanted to say was "I have been throwing up since i woke up and i have explosive diarrhea and when i poo it feels like a am shitting out a road flare. I am afraid my toilet paper is going to ketch on fire!" But if i said that, i believe they would have thought it a joke.
"Well, we do need to confirm and get the 'okay' from your father before i can let you go"
"Please call him on our phone"
"Dad, i just threw up again."
"Everything is fubar?"
"Yeah, here's the nurse"
"Okay, here you go Madisun. Take this to the attendance office to get signed, then you can head home."
"Thank you very much, but where is the nearest bathroom?"
Stage 2 complete!
Once in the attendance office i see Kayla (White Steve's girlfriend) behind the desk. If your a senior you can take that as a class for accounting or something.
she didn't see me come inside, so i snuck up on her like a sick ninja! I scared the bajeebers out of her!
So while i was waiting for my attendance lady, i hear another attendance person on the phone, with someone. She hangs up and says "Theres another one!!" and everyone starts laughing and they put another tally on a white board that the count was at 13. Curiously i ask what it was. "O that, that is for how many fake phone calls we have gotten today from people pretending that they are parents trying to get there 'kids' out of school."
If i wasn't "sick" i would have laughed and made jokes about that with them. But that would be un-appropriate for what i was there for.
She signed it without a word and told me to get better soon.
On my way out Kayla says
"Hey wait! Madisun!"
"Hmm? whats up?"
"So last night, me and Steve broke up"
"That sucks.. I'm sorry"
"Its okay, we are still friends though"
"Thats good, the last girl i dated did ecstasy and made-out with another dude in the same weekend. So i broke up with her and now she hates me because i didn't try hard enough to stay friends with her or something.. We were friends before, but i haven't talked to her since..."
Kayla went off on this rant about how girls can be so stupid sometimes.
Kayla says with a smile "Well, I'm single now"
I said "Awesome"
turned around and left.
Shes cute and i wouldn't mind dating her, but i will not go chasing her. Since she made the first move, then yea, i will hang out with her more. But we'll see what happens then. What ever happens, happens. I'm just here for the ride.
Back out in the parking lot, all the gates are closed. the only way out is past a security guard that you must have a paper stating why you are leaving signed by 3 different people.
I was home by 10:35. Showered and Elliot said that he just woke up. Perfect timing!
Monday, February 16, 2009
Monday the 16th
Thats three weeks!!!
My alarm did not go off today. Dad came into my room at 8 saying "you dont have school today?"
No shower, no breakfast, i was way more than half asleep in English. And i should be doing my homework but, to me this blog is more important.
So i still have no idea how to make a power-point and i have one for Ag and English class. O! I need an off the wall funny persuasive topic to talk about and make a interesting power-point about in English. Give me some ideas if you think of something.
English sucked.. i did get to rig the projector up again. Today was presidents day. So finished our talk about Marten Luther King. Jr. then talked about Obama, and Linkin.
We had a sub in algebra. It was the first time i actually didn't like my class. We did a TON of work. on our own. The girl behind me (I think her name is Megan) Helped me through some stuff when the teacher wasn't looking. By this time, i begun to wake up a little more.
I am starting to renotice the things that i have stopped noticing. The first day of school was so bright and sharp and everything seemed memorable. Then i got in some type of rut and i stopped seeing and was only looking at the things i knew. The people, the objects, body language and even looking into peoples feelings and how they got there.
Everything in school is just a process of thoughts. If the way your processing thoughts is positive, then school will be positive. You dont need to make it harder for yourself by thinking negatively.
For this reason, i believe that is way kids in school are robotish. Then they don't even have to make the decision to be positive or negative. Then they take that robotany into there everyday life. and that's when things start to go down shit creek in a boat with a hole in it while you have no paddle.
On my way down the band hall. I chilled with White Steve and his girlfriend that has the hots for me, then headed down the most packed hallway in the whole school. Kristin (Dillon's girlfriend) grabs me and was like "Hey!! Madisun! come here and talk to me." I shook her off
"Nope, i gotta get to the gym. we'll talk later"
When people dont get there way their mind keeps saying "try harder! Harder!!!" the people who do know and accept that they are not going to get there way always seem to be more mature about stuff.
I stopped at the bathroom. walked in there, and saw like 4 people i knew. Heh, I walk straight to the shortest urinal. Its about halfway down the wall from the rest of them. There is only one in the bathroom and this bathroom was big and full of school-goers.
"Yes! i get the midgets pisser!"
as i squat lower so i am closer to the urinal
I never knew it would be so hard to pee and laugh at the same time!
In the hall class room of awesomeness we were told to complete a hunters education pre-test. I busted out my phone and started texting my friend Joe who i knew would know all of the answers. I did quite good myself. That class is always full of laughs that seem echo all the way down the hallways.
I have acquired 2 more tables that i sit at in the lunch room. I'm getting better at names! I ate my whole apple, then wandered around waiting for this school day to end. Today wasn't the greatest of days. Tons of work that some of witch has gone unfinished.
In Ag class, the class started giving there animal power-points. And i took butt tons of notes. i got very drowsy in that class room with the lights out looking at the overhead.
at 4:05 i walked out with Karli, she's cool when she isn't blabbering on about herself.
Out in front of the school, i found that one guy, who said i was the happiest guy he knew. and today he said told me
"You have inspired me to be happy at school"
That made my day. To actually have someone verbally tell me that, it was wonderful.
My alarm did not go off today. Dad came into my room at 8 saying "you dont have school today?"
No shower, no breakfast, i was way more than half asleep in English. And i should be doing my homework but, to me this blog is more important.
So i still have no idea how to make a power-point and i have one for Ag and English class. O! I need an off the wall funny persuasive topic to talk about and make a interesting power-point about in English. Give me some ideas if you think of something.
English sucked.. i did get to rig the projector up again. Today was presidents day. So finished our talk about Marten Luther King. Jr. then talked about Obama, and Linkin.
We had a sub in algebra. It was the first time i actually didn't like my class. We did a TON of work. on our own. The girl behind me (I think her name is Megan) Helped me through some stuff when the teacher wasn't looking. By this time, i begun to wake up a little more.
I am starting to renotice the things that i have stopped noticing. The first day of school was so bright and sharp and everything seemed memorable. Then i got in some type of rut and i stopped seeing and was only looking at the things i knew. The people, the objects, body language and even looking into peoples feelings and how they got there.
Everything in school is just a process of thoughts. If the way your processing thoughts is positive, then school will be positive. You dont need to make it harder for yourself by thinking negatively.
For this reason, i believe that is way kids in school are robotish. Then they don't even have to make the decision to be positive or negative. Then they take that robotany into there everyday life. and that's when things start to go down shit creek in a boat with a hole in it while you have no paddle.
On my way down the band hall. I chilled with White Steve and his girlfriend that has the hots for me, then headed down the most packed hallway in the whole school. Kristin (Dillon's girlfriend) grabs me and was like "Hey!! Madisun! come here and talk to me." I shook her off
"Nope, i gotta get to the gym. we'll talk later"
When people dont get there way their mind keeps saying "try harder! Harder!!!" the people who do know and accept that they are not going to get there way always seem to be more mature about stuff.
I stopped at the bathroom. walked in there, and saw like 4 people i knew. Heh, I walk straight to the shortest urinal. Its about halfway down the wall from the rest of them. There is only one in the bathroom and this bathroom was big and full of school-goers.
"Yes! i get the midgets pisser!"
as i squat lower so i am closer to the urinal
I never knew it would be so hard to pee and laugh at the same time!
In the hall class room of awesomeness we were told to complete a hunters education pre-test. I busted out my phone and started texting my friend Joe who i knew would know all of the answers. I did quite good myself. That class is always full of laughs that seem echo all the way down the hallways.
I have acquired 2 more tables that i sit at in the lunch room. I'm getting better at names! I ate my whole apple, then wandered around waiting for this school day to end. Today wasn't the greatest of days. Tons of work that some of witch has gone unfinished.
In Ag class, the class started giving there animal power-points. And i took butt tons of notes. i got very drowsy in that class room with the lights out looking at the overhead.
at 4:05 i walked out with Karli, she's cool when she isn't blabbering on about herself.
Out in front of the school, i found that one guy, who said i was the happiest guy he knew. and today he said told me
"You have inspired me to be happy at school"
That made my day. To actually have someone verbally tell me that, it was wonderful.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Friday the 13th
That was yesterday, It was quite a busy day and i didn't have much time to write.
It seems every other day, is a day that sleep follows me. Its difficult to wake up and function at school in the mornings. I brought a bag of chocolate morsels to give to people who wanted to know i thought about them for Valentine's day and i was too lazy to go buy a ton of chocolate kisses for everyone.
In English we still have a sub. Mrs. Rayome is going around to different colleges with her son to see witch one will be suitable. The sub, Ms. Provo is a very laid back teacher. While we were in the middle of working on stuff, the teacher in the classroom next door popped her head inside ours asking if anyone knew how to work projectors. Well, seeing as i have one, i was in luck. I walked in to W102 and knew half the people in there, i never knew that they were just a classroom over from me. I rigged that projector up fast then headed back to my class.
Today was Soul Food day. Some type of Black informative day at the school. And if you bought a coupon, you could get out of class first period to go eat fried chicken, mashed potatos and sweet tea. Unfortunately it was to late for me to buy a coupon. Half of our class went but are now behind on the homework. I got assigned a ton of homework to be done my next month. Some crazy stuff that i don't think i am going to do. I have been thinking a lot about all of the homework stuff, and have decided that its a lose lose situation for school-goers. When you dont do it you have the feeling of dread, then later you feel behind and get the guilt trip from the teacher (if they are good teacher and care). For me, when i do do the home work and bring it in, well first i feel like i could be doing soo many other things than working on something silly for English. Then once it gets graded, I think "was that really worth it?" Everyone is different, and that is my opinion from first hand experience. It is also nice for me to know that i can actually do it. Growing up homeschooled you have no idea what your education level is at. It is a big think for me to know that i am somewhat smart in the subjects they are teaching at school (so far) I always thought i was behind, but i always knew i was more knowledgeable in other stuff, like wilderness survival and awareness. Because that is what i grew up doing. If you have never seen the Camp Tonkawa web site (the camp my family runs) its camptonkawatexas.com
In Algebra we are doing some type of book drive, and witch ever 2ed period class gets the most books get a pizza party. There is this one girl who is in both my English and Algebra classes. I helped her carry 2 boxes of books to class. So far we have somewhere around 170 books. Just our class.
I like algebra, its easy and the people are a lot more social. But brady the kid next to me, was in such a down mood. I did what i could to make him smile and lift his mood. He wouldn't tell me what was up.
I am starting to see that when someone has a problem or something bad happened to him, it brings friends closer. When i look back on my life, my friends were the closest when something was wrong in my life. Maybe it makes them feel more important to you or that you need them and sometimes it could make your friends feel like your more like them. Like you have problems also, or your in the same boat.
This might cause a problem for me. I'm not perfect but the problems in my life dont affect me the way they would have if i was younger. Because you can chose whether or not you want things to run your life. Maybe i will test this..
Class went by fast, with no homework. I had it arranged so i can retake a quiz i missed when i went on my cruise since it was "do nothing friday" in outdoor ed. when the bell rang, i went to the other side of the school to tell Coach Odle that i was going to go take my quiz. I chilled over there waiting for him to get there. Once he did i left to go take my test.
Walking around the school while everyone was in class was amazing. I never knew the raging river of the school could be so peaceful. After a wile, i got there. I was enjoying wandering around the empty hallways and looking into classrooms that had windows in the doors. I did really good on the quiz. was there for about a half hour, then headed back to outdoor ed.
On my way back, the lunch bell rang for C lunch, so the hallways were filled. instead of going back to class, i hung around the lunch room looking for anyone i knew. I found a few people but i know way more people in D lunch.
When i made it back to the hallway where my class is, i see a tv set up and everyone sitting around it watching this guy field dress a dear. He was about half way through taking the hide off. Everyone was all grossed out. I sat down and started eating my apple
"EWWWW!!! How can you eat anything while watching this madisun!??!!!"
"Hey, its not that gross. Did you know that human bones and mussels look just like that?"
"how would you know?!"
As the guy on the video is cutting the deers head off with a saw
I say "Wait... You guys dont know anything about me do you... For all you know i could be some sicko that is actually 20 and get pleasure from cutting young people up into little bits and using there rib cages as cloths. None of you people have seen be before. I could be lying about everything. what makes you think you know me?"
Everyone went silent.
then they were like
".... nooo.. "
"Nooo..."
"no that cant be"
"You can be creepy sometimes, but your not THAT creepy..."
Then i bust out laughing so hard i almost cried!!!
Once i laughed most everyone laughed.
now that i look back on that, that really could have gone bad and everyone have second thoughts about me. but i am very glad that it didn't.
After that i shared my chocolate with everyone.
Micky says to me
"Madisun, you are the nicest person i have ever met."
I said "thanks! but how so?"
"Well the 2ed time i ever talked to you, i was having a bad day and you were there trying to make me feel better and i didn't even know you then. I told you about how that day sucked and you said to me 'well at least your not a siamese twin that has 1 body and 2 heads and the other you is gay and is having a hot date tonight and you only have 1 butt hole.' you are the nicest person i know"
Once our lunch bell rang, we all walked to lunch together.
I brought 2 apples today. I already ate one of them and didn't feel like eating another. So i talked Eric into buying one. I sold it to him for a dollar.
I took that dollar, then went to go find a marker. once i tracked one down i flipped the dollar over so the "one" side was facing up then but a big "B" right before the "O" and an "R" after the "N" so it spelled "B-ONE-R"
I showed that dollar to over 3 dozen people! it was awesome. it took some people a long time to actually get it. but once they did they laughed harder than the ones who got it fast.
Every time i meet a girl named Amanda, I call them Amanda Panda!! and it always makes them smile. I only know 2 Amandas.
My forth period class is suppose to meet in the computer lab, B202. I had no idea where this was, so i asked a teacher leaving the lunch room if he could take me there. He said he was heading there anyway and would show me. The end lunch bell didn't ring yet but he didn't care. So i got to leave early.
B202 was upstairs. Since i was there early, i got started on my Ag work. But none of the computers worked for me because i still didn't have my own computer account to access. While i was waiting for the others i finished some bookwork.
The last person to get there was Karli. and surprisingly she came and sat next to me. She was beautiful today. and i told her so. i never noticed it before, but she might like me. She let me use her account to get online, I had to research and write a paper on Anthrax. Thats some nasty stuff. I finished it in about 30 minutes. then just played around on the computer and talked to Karli about all of her friends and family. She is kinda self centered. Then it goes again, i while she was talking about all this bad stuff in her life. I had nothing bad to tell her about mine. I am still not sure what i am going to do about it. but I'll do something.
At 4:05 the bell rang and we split. across the hall from B202 at B203 i see Black Steve and Alissandrea coming out of the classroom. I haven't seen her in a long time. she said she wanted to hang out but i knew she was busy and probably wouldn't get to. Turns out i was right.
I was chillin in the front of the school with a lot of people and this guy that i see every day is like
"Madisun!!! come here! i want you to meet these people!"
I walk over there with a smile on my face and chilled with them for a bit
Then he says
"Dude, your are like the happiest person i know! its always nice to be around you because you always make everyone smile!"
This really made me happy. I know that i am here on this Earth to peoples lives easier and happier. I was extremely glad to hear this from two different people today!!
It seems every other day, is a day that sleep follows me. Its difficult to wake up and function at school in the mornings. I brought a bag of chocolate morsels to give to people who wanted to know i thought about them for Valentine's day and i was too lazy to go buy a ton of chocolate kisses for everyone.
In English we still have a sub. Mrs. Rayome is going around to different colleges with her son to see witch one will be suitable. The sub, Ms. Provo is a very laid back teacher. While we were in the middle of working on stuff, the teacher in the classroom next door popped her head inside ours asking if anyone knew how to work projectors. Well, seeing as i have one, i was in luck. I walked in to W102 and knew half the people in there, i never knew that they were just a classroom over from me. I rigged that projector up fast then headed back to my class.
Today was Soul Food day. Some type of Black informative day at the school. And if you bought a coupon, you could get out of class first period to go eat fried chicken, mashed potatos and sweet tea. Unfortunately it was to late for me to buy a coupon. Half of our class went but are now behind on the homework. I got assigned a ton of homework to be done my next month. Some crazy stuff that i don't think i am going to do. I have been thinking a lot about all of the homework stuff, and have decided that its a lose lose situation for school-goers. When you dont do it you have the feeling of dread, then later you feel behind and get the guilt trip from the teacher (if they are good teacher and care). For me, when i do do the home work and bring it in, well first i feel like i could be doing soo many other things than working on something silly for English. Then once it gets graded, I think "was that really worth it?" Everyone is different, and that is my opinion from first hand experience. It is also nice for me to know that i can actually do it. Growing up homeschooled you have no idea what your education level is at. It is a big think for me to know that i am somewhat smart in the subjects they are teaching at school (so far) I always thought i was behind, but i always knew i was more knowledgeable in other stuff, like wilderness survival and awareness. Because that is what i grew up doing. If you have never seen the Camp Tonkawa web site (the camp my family runs) its camptonkawatexas.com
In Algebra we are doing some type of book drive, and witch ever 2ed period class gets the most books get a pizza party. There is this one girl who is in both my English and Algebra classes. I helped her carry 2 boxes of books to class. So far we have somewhere around 170 books. Just our class.
I like algebra, its easy and the people are a lot more social. But brady the kid next to me, was in such a down mood. I did what i could to make him smile and lift his mood. He wouldn't tell me what was up.
I am starting to see that when someone has a problem or something bad happened to him, it brings friends closer. When i look back on my life, my friends were the closest when something was wrong in my life. Maybe it makes them feel more important to you or that you need them and sometimes it could make your friends feel like your more like them. Like you have problems also, or your in the same boat.
This might cause a problem for me. I'm not perfect but the problems in my life dont affect me the way they would have if i was younger. Because you can chose whether or not you want things to run your life. Maybe i will test this..
Class went by fast, with no homework. I had it arranged so i can retake a quiz i missed when i went on my cruise since it was "do nothing friday" in outdoor ed. when the bell rang, i went to the other side of the school to tell Coach Odle that i was going to go take my quiz. I chilled over there waiting for him to get there. Once he did i left to go take my test.
Walking around the school while everyone was in class was amazing. I never knew the raging river of the school could be so peaceful. After a wile, i got there. I was enjoying wandering around the empty hallways and looking into classrooms that had windows in the doors. I did really good on the quiz. was there for about a half hour, then headed back to outdoor ed.
On my way back, the lunch bell rang for C lunch, so the hallways were filled. instead of going back to class, i hung around the lunch room looking for anyone i knew. I found a few people but i know way more people in D lunch.
When i made it back to the hallway where my class is, i see a tv set up and everyone sitting around it watching this guy field dress a dear. He was about half way through taking the hide off. Everyone was all grossed out. I sat down and started eating my apple
"EWWWW!!! How can you eat anything while watching this madisun!??!!!"
"Hey, its not that gross. Did you know that human bones and mussels look just like that?"
"how would you know?!"
As the guy on the video is cutting the deers head off with a saw
I say "Wait... You guys dont know anything about me do you... For all you know i could be some sicko that is actually 20 and get pleasure from cutting young people up into little bits and using there rib cages as cloths. None of you people have seen be before. I could be lying about everything. what makes you think you know me?"
Everyone went silent.
then they were like
".... nooo.. "
"Nooo..."
"no that cant be"
"You can be creepy sometimes, but your not THAT creepy..."
Then i bust out laughing so hard i almost cried!!!
Once i laughed most everyone laughed.
now that i look back on that, that really could have gone bad and everyone have second thoughts about me. but i am very glad that it didn't.
After that i shared my chocolate with everyone.
Micky says to me
"Madisun, you are the nicest person i have ever met."
I said "thanks! but how so?"
"Well the 2ed time i ever talked to you, i was having a bad day and you were there trying to make me feel better and i didn't even know you then. I told you about how that day sucked and you said to me 'well at least your not a siamese twin that has 1 body and 2 heads and the other you is gay and is having a hot date tonight and you only have 1 butt hole.' you are the nicest person i know"
Once our lunch bell rang, we all walked to lunch together.
I brought 2 apples today. I already ate one of them and didn't feel like eating another. So i talked Eric into buying one. I sold it to him for a dollar.
I took that dollar, then went to go find a marker. once i tracked one down i flipped the dollar over so the "one" side was facing up then but a big "B" right before the "O" and an "R" after the "N" so it spelled "B-ONE-R"
I showed that dollar to over 3 dozen people! it was awesome. it took some people a long time to actually get it. but once they did they laughed harder than the ones who got it fast.
Every time i meet a girl named Amanda, I call them Amanda Panda!! and it always makes them smile. I only know 2 Amandas.
My forth period class is suppose to meet in the computer lab, B202. I had no idea where this was, so i asked a teacher leaving the lunch room if he could take me there. He said he was heading there anyway and would show me. The end lunch bell didn't ring yet but he didn't care. So i got to leave early.
B202 was upstairs. Since i was there early, i got started on my Ag work. But none of the computers worked for me because i still didn't have my own computer account to access. While i was waiting for the others i finished some bookwork.
The last person to get there was Karli. and surprisingly she came and sat next to me. She was beautiful today. and i told her so. i never noticed it before, but she might like me. She let me use her account to get online, I had to research and write a paper on Anthrax. Thats some nasty stuff. I finished it in about 30 minutes. then just played around on the computer and talked to Karli about all of her friends and family. She is kinda self centered. Then it goes again, i while she was talking about all this bad stuff in her life. I had nothing bad to tell her about mine. I am still not sure what i am going to do about it. but I'll do something.
At 4:05 the bell rang and we split. across the hall from B202 at B203 i see Black Steve and Alissandrea coming out of the classroom. I haven't seen her in a long time. she said she wanted to hang out but i knew she was busy and probably wouldn't get to. Turns out i was right.
I was chillin in the front of the school with a lot of people and this guy that i see every day is like
"Madisun!!! come here! i want you to meet these people!"
I walk over there with a smile on my face and chilled with them for a bit
Then he says
"Dude, your are like the happiest person i know! its always nice to be around you because you always make everyone smile!"
This really made me happy. I know that i am here on this Earth to peoples lives easier and happier. I was extremely glad to hear this from two different people today!!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Week 2 day 4
I didn't get to write yesterday. I was soo tired and grumpy to do anything. so when school was over yesterday, i came home and slept after i went to Chick-Ful-A with Denee, Jenna, Emmily and one of there friends. We got free Chicken sandwiches and fries :)
But once i got home, i crashed.
Yesterday consisted of an awesome morning, instead of trying to go with the flow of the hallway rivers, to be concrete like a bolder and watch as everyone molds around you without question. I tried to find the chess club, but failed. Ate some paper mache with out the paper. More book work in outdoor ed, taking a test in Algebra and bringing my own lunch and some to share.
I am starting to notice when a teacher decides to care or not. When you show interest and try in something, they wont be so hard on you.
I learned how to write and draw on a graphing calculator! That was cool.
Well, Today.
Today was one of those days, a day when everything seemed to be right. When you can see the sun shining even when your trapped in a classroom with no windows and a door you cant reach. I really am learning a lot in school, mostly in English. Can YOU tell i am getting better with my English? I can, and it feels good.
I am starting to understand what people are thinking when i tell them my story, the story of me being a 17 year old freshman. First thought is "What a retard, he got held back that much!" Very Skeptical. Once i tell them how much fun i am having in school, they always have to tell me about something bad they think about school. Sometimes its almost like the person is trying to bring my mood and thoughts about school to an unpleasant place.
When someone comes across something they don't know, see, understand or is unknown to them, subconsciously they either going to be scared of it, change it to something they do know or cast it aside. The ones who do not do this are the interesting ones i am looking for, but there is a huge difference between the ones who understand and the ones who don't care. The ones who just dont give a dam, are the ones who you can not trust. Once the person gets to know me a little, then they get interested in who i am. Most people think they understand me and put me in a category like "That fun guy" or "That Creeper" and thats what they assume me to be. Just seeing so many people everyday makes me think about myself more and more. It would be amazing if people just knew that they didn't have to suffer, to be sad and let things/people bring your emotions down. Its up to YOU to decide how you want to feel about things.
So, my day. I try to never go the same way from class to class. I always find people i know no matter witch way i go. but its starting to take me longer and longer to get to where i need to go.
Algebra was cool, I got my Quizzes back. Since i was gone for a week and took the quiz without studying i only got a 70... But i am going to retake so i have something to do Friday. I am now sitting in front of this girl who i also sat with at the lunch table. I still didn't get her name down. She likes to hear stories, any stories about me. Its nice talking about myself sometimes. Most of the time i am talking about others, because everyone gets joy in talking about them self. Even me.
Me and Jenna walked across the school towards the gyms, i never knew she went there everyday. That will give me someone to walk with :)
In outdoor ed, we dressed out. Then headed to the track and soccer field. We ran the bleachers, up and down. Then ran the track twice.
When we were about to finish, another class came outside to run. And i saw a lot of my other friends in that class. I was running one way around the track, and they were running the other. The first time i saw them about 6 girls yelled "MADISUN!!!" I ran past giggling.
After we finished that, we went into the weight room and indoor soccer building. We got to chose to play soccer or lift weights. I lifted weights with a quite kid that looked about 18. He was a big kid like me. and we worked well together.
Once i was sore and sweaty as hell. we went back to the school for lunch time.
I didn't change back into my jeans and long sleeve shirt.
Me and Micky walked to the lunch room together before the bell rang. It was amazing! the lunch room was completely empty. I sat with him at his table today. Everyone there seemed to be happy and NOT talk about drama, So i stayed and ate my orange and cheeze-its with them. When lunch was almost over i went to see my other friends around the lunch room.
So far. My favorite people in school are Ian, Jenna, Denee, Cody and Micky. There is this other girl that sits at one of the tables in the commons, she has some awesome pants and really long straight hair. shes a cutie.
I ran into Jay right when the bell rang and he walked me to my last class. He doesn't have 4th period since he has a job and is a senior.
Ag class went fast. we still had a sub since yesterday, so all we did was book work. yesterday i papered mached a female turkey. today i painted it. then Shelby got paint on my nose, so i put paint all over her arm. then got in trouble by the sub, I didn't care tho. i wish we could have had a rainbow fight!! haha!
Karli blabbered on as ever. On and on about her family and friends. i wonder if she ever thinks about other people when it doesn't benefit herself. I'll ask her that sometime and see what happens.
Once the bell rang. I ran to my truck and headed to Kroger to meet my mom to buy stuff for dinner. Once i was in the parking lot waiting for her, i fell asleep because i was sooo sore.
Mom found me and we bought stuff for homemade egg-rolls.
But once i got home, i crashed.
Yesterday consisted of an awesome morning, instead of trying to go with the flow of the hallway rivers, to be concrete like a bolder and watch as everyone molds around you without question. I tried to find the chess club, but failed. Ate some paper mache with out the paper. More book work in outdoor ed, taking a test in Algebra and bringing my own lunch and some to share.
I am starting to notice when a teacher decides to care or not. When you show interest and try in something, they wont be so hard on you.
I learned how to write and draw on a graphing calculator! That was cool.
Well, Today.
Today was one of those days, a day when everything seemed to be right. When you can see the sun shining even when your trapped in a classroom with no windows and a door you cant reach. I really am learning a lot in school, mostly in English. Can YOU tell i am getting better with my English? I can, and it feels good.
I am starting to understand what people are thinking when i tell them my story, the story of me being a 17 year old freshman. First thought is "What a retard, he got held back that much!" Very Skeptical. Once i tell them how much fun i am having in school, they always have to tell me about something bad they think about school. Sometimes its almost like the person is trying to bring my mood and thoughts about school to an unpleasant place.
When someone comes across something they don't know, see, understand or is unknown to them, subconsciously they either going to be scared of it, change it to something they do know or cast it aside. The ones who do not do this are the interesting ones i am looking for, but there is a huge difference between the ones who understand and the ones who don't care. The ones who just dont give a dam, are the ones who you can not trust. Once the person gets to know me a little, then they get interested in who i am. Most people think they understand me and put me in a category like "That fun guy" or "That Creeper" and thats what they assume me to be. Just seeing so many people everyday makes me think about myself more and more. It would be amazing if people just knew that they didn't have to suffer, to be sad and let things/people bring your emotions down. Its up to YOU to decide how you want to feel about things.
So, my day. I try to never go the same way from class to class. I always find people i know no matter witch way i go. but its starting to take me longer and longer to get to where i need to go.
Algebra was cool, I got my Quizzes back. Since i was gone for a week and took the quiz without studying i only got a 70... But i am going to retake so i have something to do Friday. I am now sitting in front of this girl who i also sat with at the lunch table. I still didn't get her name down. She likes to hear stories, any stories about me. Its nice talking about myself sometimes. Most of the time i am talking about others, because everyone gets joy in talking about them self. Even me.
Me and Jenna walked across the school towards the gyms, i never knew she went there everyday. That will give me someone to walk with :)
In outdoor ed, we dressed out. Then headed to the track and soccer field. We ran the bleachers, up and down. Then ran the track twice.
When we were about to finish, another class came outside to run. And i saw a lot of my other friends in that class. I was running one way around the track, and they were running the other. The first time i saw them about 6 girls yelled "MADISUN!!!" I ran past giggling.
After we finished that, we went into the weight room and indoor soccer building. We got to chose to play soccer or lift weights. I lifted weights with a quite kid that looked about 18. He was a big kid like me. and we worked well together.
Once i was sore and sweaty as hell. we went back to the school for lunch time.
I didn't change back into my jeans and long sleeve shirt.
Me and Micky walked to the lunch room together before the bell rang. It was amazing! the lunch room was completely empty. I sat with him at his table today. Everyone there seemed to be happy and NOT talk about drama, So i stayed and ate my orange and cheeze-its with them. When lunch was almost over i went to see my other friends around the lunch room.
So far. My favorite people in school are Ian, Jenna, Denee, Cody and Micky. There is this other girl that sits at one of the tables in the commons, she has some awesome pants and really long straight hair. shes a cutie.
I ran into Jay right when the bell rang and he walked me to my last class. He doesn't have 4th period since he has a job and is a senior.
Ag class went fast. we still had a sub since yesterday, so all we did was book work. yesterday i papered mached a female turkey. today i painted it. then Shelby got paint on my nose, so i put paint all over her arm. then got in trouble by the sub, I didn't care tho. i wish we could have had a rainbow fight!! haha!
Karli blabbered on as ever. On and on about her family and friends. i wonder if she ever thinks about other people when it doesn't benefit herself. I'll ask her that sometime and see what happens.
Once the bell rang. I ran to my truck and headed to Kroger to meet my mom to buy stuff for dinner. Once i was in the parking lot waiting for her, i fell asleep because i was sooo sore.
Mom found me and we bought stuff for homemade egg-rolls.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
owt yad owt keew
It was very tough waking up this morning.
Last night i passed out on my bed watching a movie and woke up again at 3am, then i finished typing my blog.
I was out of bed by 7:30 witch is late for going to school. I took a quick shower, grabed an apple and left. Drove to school by myself, parked in the lot and walked toward the cafetera. Chilled in the commons with Jenna and her friends, talking about how i am going to take my seat back in Algerbra.
Engish! Least favorite class for sure.
Olivia was cool though, she sat and talked for a wile.
All class we worked on a TASK pre-test, it was quite easy but still a pain in the ass. I laughed as hard as i have ever had in my first period class today. It was wonderful. Just things i find funny, mostly stupid stuff that isn't funny to others.
On my way to Algerbra i took a different way then i use to and found a lot of people i have met before. Chilled with White Steve then headed to class.
Once in the portable, i saw that my seat was still taken. So i found a new one a row over from that one. There were some girls i haven't met there, so i talked with them most of the class. I took tiny peaces of paper and wrote my phone number on then rolled them all up and started throughing them at people who looked fun. no one has called me yet.
Math is still quite easy, but i am learning. New stuff pops in and out. but most of them time i already know how to do it.
I turned to one of the new girls i met there and said
"Did you know, that if i was blind i'd ask people when i meet them if i could feel there face. But i am not blind"
She laughed
"I'd sure hope you have clean hands"
The jokes went on and on, even when we were working.
Every Tuesday and Thursday are dress-out days in Outdoor ed. and today is Tuesday! I always enjoy going out side. Outdoor Ed is easly my favorite class, Coach Odle is not such a bad guy. Once out on the feild we ran for 10 minutes then did 4 sets of 10 of push ups and sit ups. It was nice to see that i was inshape. Another PE class came out to the soccer field we were on and we played a game. The loser ran 2 laps.
I still had my "Scare tactics" with me, and it worked quite a bit. If i want to be, i can be very intimidating. But we still lost. After we lost Coach said "If you truly believe you put some spirit into your game, you dont have to run 2 laps and you can go change" Even though i knew i gave it my all and others knew, i ran anyway. Me and Micky both ran even though we worked the hardest.
Only 4 out of 30 other people went back to the locker rooms.
Once changed and refreshed, the bell rang for lunch. Cody and i think his name is Spencer wanted me to sit with them. Both of them are cool guys so i sat with them most of the lunch. I did find Morgen for a visit. I ate my apple happily and others game me pizza crust and dry cereal. It was a good lunch.
There is this one guy, i think he is the only guy in school that really truly dislikes me and shows it. I talked to some other people about him and they all said he is gay. And one girl actually felt bad that he treats me that way. It doesn't bother me one bit! hahaha! everytime i walk by that table he give me bad looks and makes sure i cant sit at that table. O well, theres gotta be a hater somewhere!
I sat at a ramdom table today, that didn't go well. totally rejected, they didn't even look at me after i told them who i was. That was a fail on my part i guess.
In my Ag class I talked with Karli and worked on making my turkey out of cardboard and paper mache. Thats all we did in class, easy peazy. When the class was over Garrison, the dude who sits next to me asked me if i wanted a cake. A full Cake I said yes.
I took that cake and walked from the back of the school to the frout and offered cake to anyone who looked at me. That cake got devoured, it was amazing!!! Maked a lot of people happy. I wish i could always give people cake and be know as Madisun The Cake Bringer! And people would rejoice when they saw me skipping down the hallways. That would be sooooo cool.
Stay tuned for tomorrow!! :)
Last night i passed out on my bed watching a movie and woke up again at 3am, then i finished typing my blog.
I was out of bed by 7:30 witch is late for going to school. I took a quick shower, grabed an apple and left. Drove to school by myself, parked in the lot and walked toward the cafetera. Chilled in the commons with Jenna and her friends, talking about how i am going to take my seat back in Algerbra.
Engish! Least favorite class for sure.
Olivia was cool though, she sat and talked for a wile.
All class we worked on a TASK pre-test, it was quite easy but still a pain in the ass. I laughed as hard as i have ever had in my first period class today. It was wonderful. Just things i find funny, mostly stupid stuff that isn't funny to others.
On my way to Algerbra i took a different way then i use to and found a lot of people i have met before. Chilled with White Steve then headed to class.
Once in the portable, i saw that my seat was still taken. So i found a new one a row over from that one. There were some girls i haven't met there, so i talked with them most of the class. I took tiny peaces of paper and wrote my phone number on then rolled them all up and started throughing them at people who looked fun. no one has called me yet.
Math is still quite easy, but i am learning. New stuff pops in and out. but most of them time i already know how to do it.
I turned to one of the new girls i met there and said
"Did you know, that if i was blind i'd ask people when i meet them if i could feel there face. But i am not blind"
She laughed
"I'd sure hope you have clean hands"
The jokes went on and on, even when we were working.
Every Tuesday and Thursday are dress-out days in Outdoor ed. and today is Tuesday! I always enjoy going out side. Outdoor Ed is easly my favorite class, Coach Odle is not such a bad guy. Once out on the feild we ran for 10 minutes then did 4 sets of 10 of push ups and sit ups. It was nice to see that i was inshape. Another PE class came out to the soccer field we were on and we played a game. The loser ran 2 laps.
I still had my "Scare tactics" with me, and it worked quite a bit. If i want to be, i can be very intimidating. But we still lost. After we lost Coach said "If you truly believe you put some spirit into your game, you dont have to run 2 laps and you can go change" Even though i knew i gave it my all and others knew, i ran anyway. Me and Micky both ran even though we worked the hardest.
Only 4 out of 30 other people went back to the locker rooms.
Once changed and refreshed, the bell rang for lunch. Cody and i think his name is Spencer wanted me to sit with them. Both of them are cool guys so i sat with them most of the lunch. I did find Morgen for a visit. I ate my apple happily and others game me pizza crust and dry cereal. It was a good lunch.
There is this one guy, i think he is the only guy in school that really truly dislikes me and shows it. I talked to some other people about him and they all said he is gay. And one girl actually felt bad that he treats me that way. It doesn't bother me one bit! hahaha! everytime i walk by that table he give me bad looks and makes sure i cant sit at that table. O well, theres gotta be a hater somewhere!
I sat at a ramdom table today, that didn't go well. totally rejected, they didn't even look at me after i told them who i was. That was a fail on my part i guess.
In my Ag class I talked with Karli and worked on making my turkey out of cardboard and paper mache. Thats all we did in class, easy peazy. When the class was over Garrison, the dude who sits next to me asked me if i wanted a cake. A full Cake I said yes.
I took that cake and walked from the back of the school to the frout and offered cake to anyone who looked at me. That cake got devoured, it was amazing!!! Maked a lot of people happy. I wish i could always give people cake and be know as Madisun The Cake Bringer! And people would rejoice when they saw me skipping down the hallways. That would be sooooo cool.
Stay tuned for tomorrow!! :)
Week 2 - day 1
Q: Is it possible to truly miss everything about school?
A: In my eyes. No, you will always find something to complain about.
I was quite easy to get back into my morning routine. But today I woke up just a bit earlier so I can mentally prepare my self for my second, first day!
In school for one week, then out another. Maybe I do have it easy.
I drove myself to school at 8:05, I had to take my own car because I was planning on driving to my mom’s after school. Once in the parking lot, I paused to take in my surroundings before I plunged into rivers of the Marcus hallways.
Everyone was in the same place that they went to before i left. All of them half asleep. Most of them, didn't even notice i was there..
It was a real eye opener to me, to see witch ones i actually had an impact on.
A dozen hugs or so later, I headed right to my English first period class. Mrs. Rayome was absent and she had Ms. Provo to sub for her. I sat down just to chill, and she didn't even know i was gone, it was great. I made small talk with her and gave her complements on what ever stuck out at me. That always seem to brighten people up. English was boring. I was still half asleep as well. I didn't even say anything about my unfinished homework. We worked on Vocab packet 4 and it seemed like i didn't miss a thing. During English i was a little on the bummed side. But that passed after i found white Steve in the hallways. We both look a lot alike and Black Steve has informed me that White Steve's girlfriend likes me also. hahahaha, She always seems to look at the funny, and be kinda mean sometimes.
Doesn't it suck, when the people that mean the most to you tend to push you away? Sometimes i find my self doing that to others that i have enormous feelings for. and it sucks.
That's the one thing that hurts me the most, knowing that i have emotionally injured someone close to me.
I get to math, and some black girl is sitting in my seat... i wasn't in the mood to mess with her, so i sat on the other side of the classroom away from my friends in that class. That kind of sucked. There was a math Quiz on everything they learned in the past week i was gone. I told the teacher that she could just give me the quiz if she wanted to. But we settled on me just taking the pre-test and taking the quiz an other day. I was extremely proud of myself. For not doing or leaning any math for a week, and still knowing how to do all of the problems on that dam long pre-test! So, i really wasn't behind at all. I had a pocket full of shells from the beaches of Mexico that i gave to any of my friends that wanted one. Just so they know i was thinking about them. i never noticed how many people i knew.
I guess today was just a day to get back into schedule.
On my way to Outdoor ed, i found Dillon and his girlfriend Kristin. Before i left on the cruise she lost a bet to me about me being a freshman! So, she walked right up to me and handed me $20! I was in shock and tried to refuse. but that didn't work very well. So, I got free lunch again! i have only payed for lunch with my own money like 3 times. crazy.
I walk down the outdoor ed hallway where we all sit, and ninja-ed myself around so no one would see me :)
Sitting around the corner i hear
"Man, i thought Madisun was going to be back today."
And like five people at once say
"I bet hes still in Mexico"
They were the happiest to see me, about 10 of them gave me hugs and i really felt loved. All of them saying they missed my laugh and how they didn't laugh at funny stupid stuff when i was gone.
Well, it is Monday... and every Monday we do book work. i was still on chapter 2, while everyone else was at chapter 7 in the hunters ed course.
Once Coach Odle was out of the room, i said "Who wants free lunch?" and found someone to copy the answers from the other 5 chapters i missed. Then started writing about Hunting Ethics. I was happy to be back by this point. in the other classes i really didn't get to talk to anyone, so it was nice to be with everyone again.
Before the lunch bell rang i ate my apple and everyone started talking about how healthy i am.. then lunch.
Morgen was the first one to find me, Jumping up and down and hugging me tight screaming about how much she missed me! That will never fail to put a smile on my face.
I went table hopping and was talking to everyone who noticed i was back.
I missed all of the stupid little games i played with everyone and making people smile. Lunch went by fast, and i had a blast! Everyday i meet more and more people. Its getting really hard to remember everyone's names. But so far so good!
Heh, watching everyone get up 15 minutes before the bell, its great. I dont know why i find that so fascinating.
I actually had the most makeup work in Ag class.. So i dived head first into all of that. and got a lot of it done. We had to make a card board animal and label all of the body parts then make a power point with 10 different slides of info about that animal. I work the best i could on that. And got about half of it done.
Jess is such a bitch. She has such a bad attitude about everything.. god.
Karli, she'll blabber on and on and on about her friends and her family and everything. but its cool, i get someone to talk to in that class that likes to talk so i dont have to fuel the conversation all the time.
Class went by quick. and i was off.
Went straight to my truck and took off to my moms for dinner.
It was nice seeing her, it has been a week or so. while i was up there i got some of my homework done. but not all of it. i just got back and started writing. Its been a long day. its time to sleep.
A: In my eyes. No, you will always find something to complain about.
I was quite easy to get back into my morning routine. But today I woke up just a bit earlier so I can mentally prepare my self for my second, first day!
In school for one week, then out another. Maybe I do have it easy.
I drove myself to school at 8:05, I had to take my own car because I was planning on driving to my mom’s after school. Once in the parking lot, I paused to take in my surroundings before I plunged into rivers of the Marcus hallways.
Everyone was in the same place that they went to before i left. All of them half asleep. Most of them, didn't even notice i was there..
It was a real eye opener to me, to see witch ones i actually had an impact on.
A dozen hugs or so later, I headed right to my English first period class. Mrs. Rayome was absent and she had Ms. Provo to sub for her. I sat down just to chill, and she didn't even know i was gone, it was great. I made small talk with her and gave her complements on what ever stuck out at me. That always seem to brighten people up. English was boring. I was still half asleep as well. I didn't even say anything about my unfinished homework. We worked on Vocab packet 4 and it seemed like i didn't miss a thing. During English i was a little on the bummed side. But that passed after i found white Steve in the hallways. We both look a lot alike and Black Steve has informed me that White Steve's girlfriend likes me also. hahahaha, She always seems to look at the funny, and be kinda mean sometimes.
Doesn't it suck, when the people that mean the most to you tend to push you away? Sometimes i find my self doing that to others that i have enormous feelings for. and it sucks.
That's the one thing that hurts me the most, knowing that i have emotionally injured someone close to me.
I get to math, and some black girl is sitting in my seat... i wasn't in the mood to mess with her, so i sat on the other side of the classroom away from my friends in that class. That kind of sucked. There was a math Quiz on everything they learned in the past week i was gone. I told the teacher that she could just give me the quiz if she wanted to. But we settled on me just taking the pre-test and taking the quiz an other day. I was extremely proud of myself. For not doing or leaning any math for a week, and still knowing how to do all of the problems on that dam long pre-test! So, i really wasn't behind at all. I had a pocket full of shells from the beaches of Mexico that i gave to any of my friends that wanted one. Just so they know i was thinking about them. i never noticed how many people i knew.
I guess today was just a day to get back into schedule.
On my way to Outdoor ed, i found Dillon and his girlfriend Kristin. Before i left on the cruise she lost a bet to me about me being a freshman! So, she walked right up to me and handed me $20! I was in shock and tried to refuse. but that didn't work very well. So, I got free lunch again! i have only payed for lunch with my own money like 3 times. crazy.
I walk down the outdoor ed hallway where we all sit, and ninja-ed myself around so no one would see me :)
Sitting around the corner i hear
"Man, i thought Madisun was going to be back today."
And like five people at once say
"I bet hes still in Mexico"
They were the happiest to see me, about 10 of them gave me hugs and i really felt loved. All of them saying they missed my laugh and how they didn't laugh at funny stupid stuff when i was gone.
Well, it is Monday... and every Monday we do book work. i was still on chapter 2, while everyone else was at chapter 7 in the hunters ed course.
Once Coach Odle was out of the room, i said "Who wants free lunch?" and found someone to copy the answers from the other 5 chapters i missed. Then started writing about Hunting Ethics. I was happy to be back by this point. in the other classes i really didn't get to talk to anyone, so it was nice to be with everyone again.
Before the lunch bell rang i ate my apple and everyone started talking about how healthy i am.. then lunch.
Morgen was the first one to find me, Jumping up and down and hugging me tight screaming about how much she missed me! That will never fail to put a smile on my face.
I went table hopping and was talking to everyone who noticed i was back.
I missed all of the stupid little games i played with everyone and making people smile. Lunch went by fast, and i had a blast! Everyday i meet more and more people. Its getting really hard to remember everyone's names. But so far so good!
Heh, watching everyone get up 15 minutes before the bell, its great. I dont know why i find that so fascinating.
I actually had the most makeup work in Ag class.. So i dived head first into all of that. and got a lot of it done. We had to make a card board animal and label all of the body parts then make a power point with 10 different slides of info about that animal. I work the best i could on that. And got about half of it done.
Jess is such a bitch. She has such a bad attitude about everything.. god.
Karli, she'll blabber on and on and on about her friends and her family and everything. but its cool, i get someone to talk to in that class that likes to talk so i dont have to fuel the conversation all the time.
Class went by quick. and i was off.
Went straight to my truck and took off to my moms for dinner.
It was nice seeing her, it has been a week or so. while i was up there i got some of my homework done. but not all of it. i just got back and started writing. Its been a long day. its time to sleep.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Cruise
Man, I never knew that I would ever get up earlier then I do for school… I had my alarm set for 5:45 so we could make it to Galveston for our cruise. When I say our, there was Dad, Elliot, Caitie, Austin, Rachel Joe and me. We drove in 2 cars, my little truck and my dads Audi. Me Joe and Caitie were in my truck rockin out while the rest sat quietly in my dad’s car. It was a five hour drive and a two hour wait in line to get on the ship. Galveston looked horrible.. Imagine a zombie infestation going through the city, then being cleared out. Most all of the buildings had blown out windows and there was debris everywhere. Talk about creepy. I’ve watched too many zombie movies.
The Ship was nice though :)
We were sailing on the Carnival Ecstasy. It was a nice ship, I liked it better then the last cruise ship I was on, but I am not picky.
Throughout the week, (I was gone Monday-Friday) I had a blast. There weren’t many other kids on the ship around my age. But that didn’t bother me because I had my brothers and Joe to chill with. The other teens around my age that were on that ship, I met and befriended. There were three girls named Kasey, Kayce and Katie. Whenever I saw them I’d call them the KKK. They were cute but immature and there parents did not want them hanging out with me. Maybe it was because I looked and passed on the ship as a 19 year old :)
I played game after game of chess with everyone. It was great; I am getting a lot better. My dad can’t beat me anymore. I even did better them him in the casino!
Every time I found my dad sleeping, I would bust out my camera and video waking him up. I have about 5 videos of him sleeping all over the ship. Speaking of sleeping, I woke up early every day. It was actually nice getting to see the sunrise, which only happened once though. The dark blue open water with white capping waves as far as the normal eye can see was so beautiful. That is the one thing I looked forward to most on the ship.
For being on a cruise, I ate very healthy. I didn’t order any type of red meat on the ship at dinner time. And the fruit was wonderful on the ship also.
I did bring the homework I had from English class, and every time I started to miss school and the cool friends I have made, I would take it out look at it and start laughing really hard saying “Hahahaha!! All my friends still have to do this stuff right now in school!!” that always made me feel better. I still haven’t finished all of it and I don’t think I will.
All around, I had a extremely memorable time and I cant wait to do it again.
The Ship was nice though :)
We were sailing on the Carnival Ecstasy. It was a nice ship, I liked it better then the last cruise ship I was on, but I am not picky.
Throughout the week, (I was gone Monday-Friday) I had a blast. There weren’t many other kids on the ship around my age. But that didn’t bother me because I had my brothers and Joe to chill with. The other teens around my age that were on that ship, I met and befriended. There were three girls named Kasey, Kayce and Katie. Whenever I saw them I’d call them the KKK. They were cute but immature and there parents did not want them hanging out with me. Maybe it was because I looked and passed on the ship as a 19 year old :)
I played game after game of chess with everyone. It was great; I am getting a lot better. My dad can’t beat me anymore. I even did better them him in the casino!
Every time I found my dad sleeping, I would bust out my camera and video waking him up. I have about 5 videos of him sleeping all over the ship. Speaking of sleeping, I woke up early every day. It was actually nice getting to see the sunrise, which only happened once though. The dark blue open water with white capping waves as far as the normal eye can see was so beautiful. That is the one thing I looked forward to most on the ship.
For being on a cruise, I ate very healthy. I didn’t order any type of red meat on the ship at dinner time. And the fruit was wonderful on the ship also.
I did bring the homework I had from English class, and every time I started to miss school and the cool friends I have made, I would take it out look at it and start laughing really hard saying “Hahahaha!! All my friends still have to do this stuff right now in school!!” that always made me feel better. I still haven’t finished all of it and I don’t think I will.
All around, I had a extremely memorable time and I cant wait to do it again.
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