Explosive diarrhea

Today is my brother's birthday.
Elliot is going to be 23! and thats a really good number that equals 5

I would love to spend his birthday with him, but school calls!! or not.

I formed a plan. I woke up at 7:30 with the morning light flooding into my room. Blasting an up beat song to actually wake me up, then Nova (my dog) jumps on my bed wagging his tail licking my face and saying in his own way "Yay! its time for Madisun to wake up"
No shower today. Lazy? Nope. I just have a plan and need a little more convincing to make it run smoothly.

I left for school at 8:10 and made sure i had dirty cloths on.
I walk in to class with droopy eyes as if i i had to sneeze consistently, half steps is if my feet were made of rock, and messy, greasy hair like i didn't sleep last night.
Mrs. Rayome was talking to the teacher next door then sees me and says "Oh, Madisun. You don't look so good, is something a matter?"
"Good morning Mrs. Rayome. Yeah, i am not feeling too well today."
"And you came to school anyway?"
The other teacher that she was talking to says "Aw, Madisun helped me out a great deal the other day with the projector overhead. Its a shame your not feeling well."

"After the second time i threw up, i had a feeling that it would pass. And i still think that it is going away."
"Well, here" as she clears the nearest desk to the door "You sit here today and if you ever need to go to the bathroom, just go. You don't need to use a pass."
"Thank you very much" I said coughing heavily as i sat down.

I didn't get called upon once in class to do anything, say answers, read paragraphs, nothing. I even raised my hand to answer questions.
At 9:21 (yeah i was watching the time) I swiftly headed out the door. I saw Rayome look at me but i didn't stop. I chilled in the bathroom for about 5-7 minutes. Then headed back to class. Standing outside the door listening inside, waiting for the right moment to enter. I held my breath for as long as i could, stumbling inside with my hand on the wall and my face red from holding my breath. Rayome hands me a pass to the nurse's office "get better madisun."

Stage one complete! I couldn't go to the nurse unless i had a note from the teacher.

Still in "Sick" mode. I skipped down the empty hallways. I put my game face back on and walked into the office.
Dragging my feet, i make it to the desk and hand her the paper Rayome gave me without saying anything.
"Could you please sign-in right over there then take a seat?"
"Yes Mama.."
Scribbled my name and the time down then slumped down into a chair.
"So, it says here that your having stomach issues. Can you be more specific?"
"This morning after i woke up, i threw up once at 7, then again at 8 and after that i thought i felt better, so i would try and go to school anyway. I also have fiery diarrhea every 10-20 minutes. I believe i caught this from my brother who had the same thing just the other day. I really can not deal with this at school and need to go home to sleep it out."
What i really wanted to say was "I have been throwing up since i woke up and i have explosive diarrhea and when i poo it feels like a am shitting out a road flare. I am afraid my toilet paper is going to ketch on fire!" But if i said that, i believe they would have thought it a joke.
"Well, we do need to confirm and get the 'okay' from your father before i can let you go"
"Please call him on our phone"

"Dad, i just threw up again."
"Everything is fubar?"
"Yeah, here's the nurse"

"Okay, here you go Madisun. Take this to the attendance office to get signed, then you can head home."
"Thank you very much, but where is the nearest bathroom?"

Stage 2 complete!

Once in the attendance office i see Kayla (White Steve's girlfriend) behind the desk. If your a senior you can take that as a class for accounting or something.
she didn't see me come inside, so i snuck up on her like a sick ninja! I scared the bajeebers out of her!

So while i was waiting for my attendance lady, i hear another attendance person on the phone, with someone. She hangs up and says "Theres another one!!" and everyone starts laughing and they put another tally on a white board that the count was at 13. Curiously i ask what it was. "O that, that is for how many fake phone calls we have gotten today from people pretending that they are parents trying to get there 'kids' out of school."
If i wasn't "sick" i would have laughed and made jokes about that with them. But that would be un-appropriate for what i was there for.
She signed it without a word and told me to get better soon.
On my way out Kayla says
"Hey wait! Madisun!"
"Hmm? whats up?"
"So last night, me and Steve broke up"
"That sucks.. I'm sorry"
"Its okay, we are still friends though"
"Thats good, the last girl i dated did ecstasy and made-out with another dude in the same weekend. So i broke up with her and now she hates me because i didn't try hard enough to stay friends with her or something.. We were friends before, but i haven't talked to her since..."
Kayla went off on this rant about how girls can be so stupid sometimes.
Kayla says with a smile "Well, I'm single now"
I said "Awesome"
turned around and left.
Shes cute and i wouldn't mind dating her, but i will not go chasing her. Since she made the first move, then yea, i will hang out with her more. But we'll see what happens then. What ever happens, happens. I'm just here for the ride.

Back out in the parking lot, all the gates are closed. the only way out is past a security guard that you must have a paper stating why you are leaving signed by 3 different people.
I was home by 10:35. Showered and Elliot said that he just woke up. Perfect timing!